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Music.

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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Self-Initiative Project Podcast.

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I’m your host, Jim O’Brien. Welcome to episode 20, where we talk about mindset.

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And in fact, we’re talking about mindset again.

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If you’ve been following us, or even if you haven’t been, we first tackled mindset,

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the subject of mindset, about six months ago in episode 13. So I highly recommend

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you go back and listen to episode 13.

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Subsequently, it was also our shortest episode, our shortest podcast we’ve done to date.

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It wound up being about 20 minutes, but I realized pretty much right after I

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got it done that it was too short and I hadn’t covered some of the things I

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wanted to cover on the topic of mindset.

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But in that episode, we talked about the importance of having grit,

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perseverance, and basically developing a never quit, don’t give up attitude for yourself.

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And that’s really what mindset is, is attitude and your choice to have a positive outcome,

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a positive attitude so that you’re more likely to have a positive outcome,

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whatever it is you’re taking on or challenging yourself with or having to deal with.

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And of course, you know us, our topics are going to be centered around personal safety and related.

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So we want to talk about mindset in that context. But I thought that after I

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got the first one done and it was so short, I realized I hadn’t covered some of the things.

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So that’s what we’re here to do in episode 20.

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And so we want to talk about what is mindset and simply put, it’s your attitude.

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And recently I was listening to a TED talk.

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I guess it’s okay to talk about that here and a psychologist i can’t think of

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her name to save my life right now but she defined grit.

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Is having both passion and perseverance.

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And I thought that was a pretty good definition for grit.

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But it’s about having the metal to see things through and having the right attitude,

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especially when it comes to your personal safety and self-defense scenarios,

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having the positive attitude that you’re going to see your way through this

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and go home safe no matter what it takes.

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And I thought that was I think that’s a real important point

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to having this attitude especially in the

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context of personal safety that you’re

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going to do what it takes and that you are going to make it through and sure

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you may come home battered and bruised or even worse hopefully not but even

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worse but the point is is that your attitude is such that you’re going to see

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it through no matter what there’s been a few times over the years taking Krav

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Maga and doing some other training where,

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you know, I’ve said myself, look, you may get the drop on me,

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you may get the better part of me, but I’m going to take a piece of you with me.

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And that’s really what we’re talking about here.

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Certainly we can’t plan for everything that’s possible that could happen to

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us. And we never know how things are going to come out.

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And maybe we do come out on the short end of the stick, but it’s important that

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we go into those situations with the right mindset and attitude.

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So how does mindset come into play? We have a mindset in everything we do.

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We have a thought process for everything we do. We have an attitude towards

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everything we do or we think about.

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So maybe, you know, maybe it’s something that we’ve never been able to do before for ourselves.

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And maybe it’s because we never thought that we could, or we never thought we

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were good enough to accomplish it, but suddenly we go at it until we’re able

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to achieve that thing we never thought possible.

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Or maybe we achieve something that others thought that we couldn’t,

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we weren’t capable of, and we proved them wrong.

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So, you know, this has multiple applications, the willingness to try,

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the willingness to push through,

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the willingness to see things through, and to have the positive mindset that

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we’re not going to quit, that we’re going to get through to the other side,

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and we’re going to come out and we’re going to be okay.

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And so this applies whether we’re talking about our work, maybe our personal

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training, working out at the gym, and it certainly has a place in personal safety and self-defense.

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So maybe at work, for example, you’ve got a really difficult project that you’ve

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been spending a tremendous amount of time on.

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It’s not going the way you thought it would or the way you think it should But

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yet you’re going to push through and you’re going to persevere and you’re going

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to see it through the other side And you’re going to do the very best that you

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can to make sure that project goes out as best it can At least for the parts

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that you’re responsible and accountable for, right?

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Or maybe you have a difficult boss, maybe you have a micromanaging boss that

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fancies himself to know more than you do about the subject matter that you’re an expert in.

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And you’ve just decided that no matter what, you’re going to see that through,

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you’re going to push on, you’re going to deal with that the best you can,

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and you’re going to put forth your best effort no matter what.

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All of that’s got to do with the mindset and the positive attitude and this

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never-quit attitude that you should have for yourself and develop for yourself.

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Or maybe you’re working out in the gym and you want to accomplish something

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in the gym that maybe you’ve never done before and set a new personal record, a new PR for yourself.

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And so maybe that means putting in the extra time and effort because no matter

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what, you’re going to see this thing through and you’re going to accomplish

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this thing, this personal record you’re wanting to achieve for yourself.

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And mindset plays an important part in that as well.

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And on that topic you know for

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me I have difficult time working out regularly but

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when I do no matter if I’m jogging if I’m lifting weight

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whatever it is one of the things that I do to help keep my mind in check and

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make sure that I stay with a positive attitude because we know working out can

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be tough and it can hurt especially when you’re running miles or whatever and

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you haven’t for some time and starting out again.

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You know, one of the techniques that I’ve done for myself, and I can’t say that

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I came up with it myself or I was the first one to try it, but I never.

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I try never to look at how much more of something I’ve got to do.

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I always count in my head and think about what I’ve accomplished.

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So, you know, if I’m on a three mile run at 4.30 in the morning and I’ve just

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started out and I’m running up that first monster hill, I don’t think about

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the two and a half miles I’ve got to go.

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I think about the half a mile I’ve already done.

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And I tackle it from the perspective of how much I’ve done, not how much I’ve got left.

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And that just makes it so much easier for me to deal with what I have ahead

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by looking at what I’ve accomplished and keeping that,

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helping me keep that positive mindset to get through it, to have the grit,

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to have the perseverance, and most importantly, to develop the never quit attitude.

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So maybe mindset, maybe having a positive mindset is just about keeping going,

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no matter what it is you’re tackling.

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We’ve talked about work, working out, personal safety, self-defense,

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whatever it is, just that keep going mentality and attitude.

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And so maybe that starts with something real simple, real light.

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And of course it fades away over time. So you have to be careful with it, but maybe.

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Keep going, get going, positive attitude is what motivates you.

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And that’s what helps you establish your motivation for whatever it is you’re trying to do.

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And then that turns into determination to get it done, right?

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You’ve made the decision you’re going to do it. And now it’s time to see it

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through no matter what the determination comes into play.

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And then eventually and hopefully your positive mental attitude will help you

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develop the discipline that you ultimately need to stick to something.

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If you’re having challenges in the office, you know, developing the discipline

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to come into work, still coming to work on time every day,

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extra early, stay late, whatever it is, to put in the extra effort to raise

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your opinion and voice when you have it and to keep going.

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If it’s working out, a lot of times, a lot of folks talk about having motivation,

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finding what it is that motivates you.

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And over time, that’s a great place to start, but over time,

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motivation can fade and ultimately does fade.

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So getting to the point where you have the discipline, where you don’t feel

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good, the weather’s bad, whatever it is, that you continue to get up early and

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go to the gym or you go to your home gym, whatever your setup is, and you keep going.

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That’s what it’s all about. In psychology, they actually refer to two types

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of mindset. The first is fixed and the other one is growth. And what we’re talking

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about today is growth in the context of personal safety.

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But fixed is just not being willing to stretch your goals, stretch your mind

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to what’s possible, to your approach and attitude towards what it is you’re doing.

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And in the context of personal safety, an example of a fixed mindset might be,

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And I’m sure you’ve ran across some folks like this as, you know,

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they have the attitude of, that’ll never happen to me.

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Or the chances of that happening in my neighborhood are slim to nil.

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Or I really work from a safe place. Or that’s the reason why I moved out to

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the boonies so I was sure I was living in a safe place.

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You know, someone that’s already made up their mind that they don’t need to

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worry about their personal safety and preparedness.

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There’s not a lot you can do for them except to encourage them to maybe think

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differently about things than what they have been or what they’ve figured out works for themselves.

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An example of growth mindset is recognizing that there are bad things that happen in the world.

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That whether you live alone or you have a family or a significant other,

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whatever your scenario may be, that maybe you should take responsibility for

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your personal safety and preparedness.

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Not that bad things happen frequently or there’s a high percentage of bad things happening,

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but you’ve decided that you’re going to take it upon yourself,

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the responsibility to learn what you can and figure out what you need to do

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so that if something does happen,

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were to happen, you’d be better prepared for it.

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And while you may not have a perfect response to it, because I don’t think there’s

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such a thing, you’re better prepared and better capable of responding to it

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than you would have been if you had chosen to stick with the,

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oh, it’ll never happen to me.

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What are some of the things that we can think about to start helping us develop

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a better mindset when it comes to personal safety and getting through those

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scenarios should they occur to us.

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So, you know, I was trying to brainstorm on this and think through some of the

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stuff that I have thought through over the years that have really opened my

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eyes and helped me make the decision for myself that I’m going to, you know,

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be better prepared and get some training and think through scenarios.

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So the first one that I think is important for a lot of people,

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and it’s the reason why a lot of people, I think, don’t tackle personal safety

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or self-defense topics for themselves and their loved ones,

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is in order to develop the right mindset about personal safety in the first

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place, you have to recognize the fact that you can’t live necessarily the way you want to,

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whether, you know, utopia, whatever.

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Whatever the way you think things should be, you have to be willing to recognize

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the fact that there’s this little thing called reality in the world.

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And things don’t happen necessarily the way we think that they should.

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Or we think that is fair for them to happen, right?

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We have to be able to recognize the fact and acknowledge the fact that we have to plan for.

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And behave based on the realities of the world and not how we wish they were,

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because it’s not utopian out there.

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So I think that’s first, and hopefully I summarize that pretty well.

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The next one is, and it’s difficult for people to think about because,

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you know, good folks don’t think the same ways.

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And that’s acknowledging and recognizing the fact that bad folks do not think

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and do not behave the way we do.

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We think because it is the way we are, and we’re nice people,

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and we believe everyone should get along, and there should be no crime in the

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world, and maybe where we live is safe as can be or has been.

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We have to realize the fact and acknowledge the fact that bad guys don’t think that way.

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There is no such thing as fairness in their mind.

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They may not have any morals. they

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certainly know no boundaries and they’re

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bound and determined to get whatever it is they think they

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need or want from you including and up to taking a life if need be for that

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thing so we just have to acknowledge the fact that people aren’t how we think

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they should be or aren’t how we are and so those those first few things are

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key to helping us get into the right mindset,

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to be able to go about our personal safety and self-defense better than if we

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weren’t thinking those ways.

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And, you know, I think what’s key is getting in the habit of when you leave

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your house, thinking from a

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perspective of personal safety and no longer being in the at-home mindset,

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realizing that when we leave the safety and comfort of our own homes,

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we kind of have to go into this mode of being alert, paying attention to our

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surroundings, staying off of our smartphones when we’re crossing the street,

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not going down the dark alley, these things that,

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we wouldn’t otherwise think about in our homes or, you know,

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we don’t have to worry about or think about in our homes.

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We need to start thinking about those when we do leave the house.

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And the last point that I want to make about what you can do to get into the

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right mindset or start beginning to get into the right mindset in the context

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of personal safety is telling yourself over and over again, if you have to,

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is that you’re going to get away and you’re going to go home safe and you’re

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going to survive whatever it takes.

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And that last point is really key. Whatever it takes to survive,

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to get away and to go home again.

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So those are some points that you should start thinking about and acknowledging

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to start getting towards having the right mindset and having a positive mindset

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when it comes to your personal safety and your self-defense, your preparedness.

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So a lot of times in self-defense training, and I’ve heard it firsthand myself,

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even in Krav training that I’ve had over the years, is a lot of times,

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you know, you’ll hear when you’re attacked or something goes wrong,

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you’re just supposed to respond with aggression.

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And, you know, you’re supposed to flip the switch. And flipping the switch is,

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I think, a good analogy because you have to go from kind of this off state to

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I’m being attacked or whatever the scenario is,

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I need to get into character, right?

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And I think that’s important. And flipping the switch, so to speak,

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is I think is a fair analogy, and I know it resonates with me.

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But this idea of just getting all out aggressive,

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I want to caution you that while aggression is part of the mindset you need

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to have when it comes to protecting yourself, should you find yourself in a

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situation where you’re needing to exercise self-defense techniques,

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whatever it might be,

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that you don’t go into it with blind aggression. And I’ll tell you why.

00:16:44.929 –> 00:16:48.109
And you will hear this in some self-defense schools. You know,

00:16:48.209 –> 00:16:51.509
you just flip the switch, you get mad, and you go full-on aggression.

00:16:51.889 –> 00:16:56.509
I want to caution you against going that far into it because,

00:16:57.009 –> 00:17:03.249
A, if you go in with blind aggression, that may impact the techniques.

00:17:03.509 –> 00:17:06.449
You know, you’ve been training for a while. You got some techniques down.

00:17:06.449 –> 00:17:09.909
You know what to do in school and in class, but out on the street,

00:17:10.069 –> 00:17:10.949
it’s totally different.

00:17:11.469 –> 00:17:16.809
And you’re only going to rise. You’re not going to rise to the level of your training.

00:17:17.069 –> 00:17:20.909
You know, let’s say you were nailing it 100% in class. you’re only going to

00:17:20.909 –> 00:17:22.889
rise to about 70% of that.

00:17:23.545 –> 00:17:28.465
70% of your proficiency. So you don’t want to go about it with blind aggression,

00:17:28.765 –> 00:17:34.125
with blind anger, whatever, because your technique simply will get that much worse potentially.

00:17:34.685 –> 00:17:40.085
And, you know, if you go in with blind aggression, you might wind up being the aggressor.

00:17:40.365 –> 00:17:44.845
You might wind up jumping the gun, so to speak. And lastly, you know,

00:17:44.925 –> 00:17:49.665
and kind of tied to that too, is that if you go in blindly and respond blindly

00:17:49.665 –> 00:17:54.425
and you’re not consciously aware of what’s going on and you just let things go.

00:17:55.165 –> 00:18:00.845
You might take things too far and that could turn into legal issues for you too.

00:18:01.125 –> 00:18:05.025
So I want to caution you that this isn’t about mindset. When we talk about mindset,

00:18:05.645 –> 00:18:08.445
blind aggression should not be a part of that.

00:18:09.065 –> 00:18:17.305
It’s more about seeing the situation through and visioning yourself getting out of that safely.

00:18:17.705 –> 00:18:23.225
One of the things that I would like to talk to the ladies about that might be

00:18:23.225 –> 00:18:27.885
listening to the podcast is the importance of their mindset and how they deal

00:18:27.885 –> 00:18:32.325
with day-to-day situations, with men in particular.

00:18:32.645 –> 00:18:34.645
I’ll just say this about that.

00:18:35.045 –> 00:18:41.485
Ladies, you need to be okay, and you need to get to the mindset of where you’re

00:18:41.485 –> 00:18:46.065
putting firmness and boundaries ahead of being nice.

00:18:46.485 –> 00:18:53.345
And that’s a tough one because that’s just not what women or girls and women

00:18:53.345 –> 00:18:56.385
are generally taught. It’s not the way they’ve been raised.

00:18:56.685 –> 00:18:58.925
But ladies, being firm.

00:18:59.816 –> 00:19:07.096
And setting boundaries for yourself will keep you out of so many bad situations,

00:19:07.096 –> 00:19:13.756
along with listening to your gut and intuition. And that’s kind of a separate topic from mindset.

00:19:13.796 –> 00:19:18.576
But if your mindset is that you’re going to listen to your gut and your intuition,

00:19:18.576 –> 00:19:22.276
then you’re set up better than if you don’t, than if you were not to.

00:19:22.796 –> 00:19:26.676
So I think that’s a very important part for ladies. You know,

00:19:26.816 –> 00:19:30.456
once you develop the right mindset towards personal safety and self-defense,

00:19:30.836 –> 00:19:34.876
you know, you start thinking about things you maybe not have prior.

00:19:35.136 –> 00:19:38.936
And in one of our previous podcasts, too, I think episode 18,

00:19:38.936 –> 00:19:44.936
we talked about the two best self-defense tools to carry for yourself with situational

00:19:44.936 –> 00:19:48.576
awareness and avoidance. And that’s so key.

00:19:48.776 –> 00:19:52.656
But mindset gets you to the point where you’re thinking about your safety more

00:19:52.656 –> 00:19:54.636
often than not when you leave the house.

00:19:54.636 –> 00:20:01.376
And maybe it means sitting where you’re facing a door at the restaurant when

00:20:01.376 –> 00:20:03.796
you go out to eat with your girlfriends, whatever it is,

00:20:03.896 –> 00:20:07.916
and hopefully it’s to the point, like my friends and I, we actually fight over

00:20:07.916 –> 00:20:12.496
who’s going to have the best view of the room when we go to sit in a bar or

00:20:12.496 –> 00:20:14.056
pub or restaurant, et cetera.

00:20:14.276 –> 00:20:18.616
So getting in the mindset of just thinking about the things that you need to

00:20:18.616 –> 00:20:23.856
that you wouldn’t otherwise or maybe you haven’t to this point is all key.

00:20:24.436 –> 00:20:27.256
So, you know, one of the things that I think, well,

00:20:27.396 –> 00:20:32.876
I know some of the positive side benefits besides getting you in the right mindset

00:20:32.876 –> 00:20:37.776
to be ready should something happen and knowing that you’ve got the positive

00:20:37.776 –> 00:20:41.696
attitude to see it through and that you’re going to get out of it no matter what,

00:20:42.096 –> 00:20:46.936
or hopefully, is I think one of the side benefits of having a positive mindset

00:20:46.936 –> 00:20:50.436
when it comes to personal safety is that it helps.

00:20:50.436 –> 00:20:56.396
I won’t say eliminate because you’re never going to get rid of all your fear and all your doubts.

00:20:56.656 –> 00:21:01.796
But I think having a positive mindset about it and having a never quit can do

00:21:01.796 –> 00:21:07.976
attitude really does go towards cutting back on the doubt and uncertainty you

00:21:07.976 –> 00:21:09.556
may have about a situation.

00:21:10.116 –> 00:21:14.416
And I think that’s a I think that’s an important key piece to all of this.

00:21:15.116 –> 00:21:19.356
We talked about this a little bit ago, but what are some of the key things that

00:21:19.356 –> 00:21:23.716
getting into the right mindset and having a positive attitude about it,

00:21:23.756 –> 00:21:26.556
what does that look like and what are kind of the stages?

00:21:26.896 –> 00:21:31.776
So like we talked about, one of the first things you need to do is acknowledge reality.

00:21:32.396 –> 00:21:36.096
Acknowledge that bad guys don’t think and behave like the rest of the world.

00:21:36.296 –> 00:21:40.936
And most importantly, just acknowledge and recognize the fact that while it’s

00:21:40.936 –> 00:21:42.816
a small percentage of reality.

00:21:43.459 –> 00:21:47.159
Time in the overall scheme of things, bad things can and do happen.

00:21:47.339 –> 00:21:51.339
So I think acknowledging those things first is key.

00:21:51.939 –> 00:21:56.359
And then, you know, getting your head right, realizing that you’re,

00:21:56.539 –> 00:22:00.519
maybe you’ve been one of those to think that, oh, it won’t happen to me,

00:22:00.539 –> 00:22:03.419
or the chances are slim to nil, so I’m not going to sweat it.

00:22:03.479 –> 00:22:05.679
I’m not going to live my life in fear, whatever.

00:22:06.239 –> 00:22:11.679
I think getting your head right, and to me, getting your head right means thinking

00:22:11.679 –> 00:22:14.639
differently than that, thinking differently than you may have,

00:22:14.819 –> 00:22:18.419
realizing that, again, going back to the acknowledgement thing,

00:22:19.059 –> 00:22:23.619
realizing that bad things do happen and who’s going to do it for you?

00:22:23.699 –> 00:22:24.879
Are you going to call 911?

00:22:25.259 –> 00:22:28.999
Well, 911 average response times are seven to eight minutes.

00:22:29.159 –> 00:22:30.779
So what’s going to happen in that time?

00:22:31.119 –> 00:22:35.699
Things happen so fast. That’s not really an option at the end of the day and

00:22:35.699 –> 00:22:41.059
getting in this mindset that you’re your own first responder,

00:22:41.279 –> 00:22:46.319
whether that’s trauma first aid care or dealing with a bad situation at hand.

00:22:46.379 –> 00:22:50.759
And it might be as simple as just leaving a situation that you’re not comfortable with.

00:22:50.879 –> 00:22:53.619
Maybe your gut or intuition has told you you need to get away.

00:22:53.959 –> 00:22:58.979
Maybe it’s the guy you’ve recently met in the bar or maybe a fight’s breaking out somewhere.

00:22:59.639 –> 00:23:03.199
Hopefully you don’t find yourself in those situations too often.

00:23:03.199 –> 00:23:06.379
But when you do, you need to know what to do and how to respond.

00:23:06.599 –> 00:23:11.679
And so getting your head right around those things that can happen and being

00:23:11.679 –> 00:23:14.619
prepared to respond to them appropriately are key.

00:23:15.119 –> 00:23:19.679
And then, you know, a big thing that the Self-Initiative Project harps on is

00:23:19.679 –> 00:23:21.699
taking responsibility for yourself.

00:23:21.979 –> 00:23:26.119
It’s not someone else’s responsibility to deal with these things for you.

00:23:26.299 –> 00:23:28.259
You need to plan for yourself.

00:23:29.082 –> 00:23:34.322
And be prepared to deal with them yourself. And so taking responsibility is

00:23:34.322 –> 00:23:40.442
a key piece to having the mindset that you need towards the whole personal safety

00:23:40.442 –> 00:23:43.742
point that we’re trying to make here today.

00:23:44.262 –> 00:23:48.282
And the last one is having plans in place. And this one’s so key,

00:23:48.322 –> 00:23:52.202
and I want to talk to you about that more in depth.

00:23:52.202 –> 00:23:57.402
But the last thing that I’ll mention here is having the right mindset,

00:23:57.402 –> 00:24:02.022
having a positive mindset when it comes to personal safety is really the key

00:24:02.022 –> 00:24:03.742
to having a positive outcome.

00:24:04.562 –> 00:24:11.422
And for that matter, if you don’t have the right mindset, you go into it thinking, oh, I’m too weak.

00:24:12.222 –> 00:24:15.542
I can’t fight this situation. I can’t do this.

00:24:15.622 –> 00:24:17.342
I can’t do that. It could also have

00:24:17.342 –> 00:24:21.782
a negative outcome, which is why we’re talking to you today about this.

00:24:21.782 –> 00:24:27.422
Having the right mindset is the key to a positive outcome, getting away,

00:24:27.822 –> 00:24:32.902
going home safe, going home with minimal to no injuries. That’s really what we’re dealing with.

00:24:33.362 –> 00:24:39.742
So I want to go back to talking about having plans in place and what that looks like.

00:24:39.962 –> 00:24:44.642
So, you know, training in self-defense for the number of years I’ve had,

00:24:44.822 –> 00:24:48.982
one of the things that I’ve heard time and time again, and there’s really a

00:24:48.982 –> 00:24:52.962
lot of merit to it, is that if you want to be best prepared,

00:24:53.142 –> 00:24:54.202
you know, you need to be training.

00:24:54.342 –> 00:24:57.382
You need to be training regularly and you need to be training hard.

00:24:57.542 –> 00:24:58.602
That’s first and foremost.

00:24:58.762 –> 00:25:03.982
But aside from that, one of the most powerful things you can do to develop a

00:25:03.982 –> 00:25:08.162
good mindset so that you’re better prepared and you know how you’re going to respond,

00:25:08.662 –> 00:25:13.942
is to play scenarios through your head and ask yourself, well,

00:25:14.042 –> 00:25:15.922
what would I do in this situation?

00:25:15.922 –> 00:25:18.962
What would I do in this scenario? How would I respond?

00:25:19.342 –> 00:25:25.142
And that’s so key. So maybe you’re at that bar and a fight breaks out. What are you going to do?

00:25:25.402 –> 00:25:28.802
Are you going to try to break it up? Are you going to get away?

00:25:29.102 –> 00:25:30.302
Are you going to just leave?

00:25:30.842 –> 00:25:35.402
If it’s your friend, are you going to help? Are you still going to leave?

00:25:35.962 –> 00:25:39.522
I can’t answer those scenarios for you. Only you can.

00:25:40.399 –> 00:25:44.399
So think about a scenario and think about how you’d respond to it.

00:25:44.519 –> 00:25:48.999
Maybe you go to a big store or the grocery store, whatever it is,

00:25:49.019 –> 00:25:53.239
and you go over one aisle away from your child.

00:25:53.339 –> 00:25:56.379
Now, hopefully you’re not the type of parent to leave your children alone,

00:25:56.439 –> 00:25:58.619
but let’s just say, you know, life happens.

00:25:58.799 –> 00:26:04.719
Your child happens to be a number of feet away from you and you hear them screaming

00:26:04.719 –> 00:26:10.799
and you see an adult individual engaging with your child. How are you going to respond to that?

00:26:11.119 –> 00:26:15.219
What would you do? Maybe you’re at the gas station pumping gas,

00:26:15.259 –> 00:26:18.479
and hopefully you’re not wedged between the car and the gas pump.

00:26:18.559 –> 00:26:22.559
And we’ve talked about that before in our Instagram posts, for example.

00:26:22.779 –> 00:26:26.579
But you’re at the gas station pumping gas, and there’s a stranger that’s kind

00:26:26.579 –> 00:26:31.999
of scraggly and not dressed very well. And he’s making a beeline right towards you.

00:26:32.079 –> 00:26:36.959
And he’s yelling out at you to get your attention. and maybe he’s asking for

00:26:36.959 –> 00:26:41.679
50 cent to get a ride home or maybe he’s asking you for a ride or maybe he’s

00:26:41.679 –> 00:26:43.259
trying to ask you for directions.

00:26:43.519 –> 00:26:46.959
What are you going to do? If you’re by yourself, what are you going to do?

00:26:47.099 –> 00:26:52.119
If you’ve got a significant other or a friend, what are you going to do in that situation?

00:26:52.379 –> 00:26:58.339
So the key is to think through scenarios that might happen that are possible

00:26:58.339 –> 00:27:02.919
and then think about how you would respond to them, what you would do.

00:27:02.919 –> 00:27:08.239
And by doing that, psychologically, what you’re doing is better preparing yourself

00:27:08.239 –> 00:27:11.139
for dealing with these miscellaneous scenarios.

00:27:11.379 –> 00:27:16.159
Maybe it’s home invasion. Someone kicks in your front door, your back door while

00:27:16.159 –> 00:27:20.079
you’re in with the family watching a movie on TV. What are you going to do?

00:27:20.139 –> 00:27:21.179
Are you prepared for that?

00:27:21.319 –> 00:27:25.759
Have you thought about it? And so the idea, again, is when you think about those

00:27:25.759 –> 00:27:31.739
scenarios is that they’re getting you to a point where maybe your response isn’t

00:27:31.739 –> 00:27:36.159
perfect when and if that scenario you’ve thought through actually were to occur.

00:27:37.374 –> 00:27:42.094
I guarantee you, you’re going to be better prepared because having thought about

00:27:42.094 –> 00:27:44.434
it ahead of time is going to give

00:27:44.434 –> 00:27:48.214
you at least more of a plan than if you hadn’t thought about it at all.

00:27:48.254 –> 00:27:52.454
And you’re struggling in that moment, flight, freeze or fight,

00:27:52.474 –> 00:27:56.714
you’re fighting that in the moment of stress, you’re going to be better prepared

00:27:56.714 –> 00:28:00.254
because you’ve got at least some semblance of a plan in place.

00:28:00.994 –> 00:28:06.414
And you know, to extend that further, Tim Larkin of, and hopefully he won’t

00:28:06.414 –> 00:28:11.114
mind me mentioning his name because I think his philosophies on this are great.

00:28:11.254 –> 00:28:17.134
And he’s not the only one. But Tim Larkin of Target Focus Training says that

00:28:17.134 –> 00:28:22.914
when you think about being attacked or you watch security videos or home videos

00:28:22.914 –> 00:28:26.174
of people in fights or people being attacked.

00:28:26.774 –> 00:28:30.954
You know, psychologically, we have a tendency to put ourselves automatically

00:28:30.954 –> 00:28:33.874
in the position of a victim, of the victim.

00:28:34.314 –> 00:28:39.014
And he says, and I completely agree, that you really should start thinking about

00:28:39.014 –> 00:28:44.754
those scenarios from the perspective of the attacker, because they’re the ones that hold the cards.

00:28:45.074 –> 00:28:51.134
And so, you know, why should you put yourself in a victim, a state of victimization?

00:28:51.334 –> 00:28:57.134
Why should you always think about having to respond? Because his point is,

00:28:57.214 –> 00:29:01.334
and I think, I don’t want to do it injustice, but his point is,

00:29:01.374 –> 00:29:05.454
is that if you think like the attacker, then that’s how you’re going to respond to the attack.

00:29:05.954 –> 00:29:10.154
The attacker’s intent, you should be too, and how you respond to that.

00:29:10.354 –> 00:29:15.554
So his point is to think about those situations and those scenarios from the

00:29:15.554 –> 00:29:18.494
perspective of the attacker.

00:29:18.774 –> 00:29:24.454
So, you know, some examples of what are they looking for? What about that victim

00:29:24.454 –> 00:29:27.954
do they have that the attacker might be interested in?

00:29:28.314 –> 00:29:32.874
Why might they choose one victim over another? Is it how they carry themselves?

00:29:33.114 –> 00:29:36.034
We’ve talked about that in some of our previous podcasts as well.

00:29:36.154 –> 00:29:37.314
Is it how they carry themselves?

00:29:37.614 –> 00:29:41.894
Is it they’re distracted because they’re looking at their smartphone while walking

00:29:41.894 –> 00:29:46.294
down the sidewalk instead of being alert and carrying themselves with their

00:29:46.294 –> 00:29:50.854
shoulders back and their head up, looking around with their head on the swivel,

00:29:51.074 –> 00:29:53.654
staying frosty, which we’ve talked about before. for as well.

00:29:54.134 –> 00:29:57.134
Why, you know, why would they pick that individual over another.

00:29:58.215 –> 00:30:01.375
And then what are they maybe thinking about during the attack?

00:30:02.295 –> 00:30:05.975
You know, their intent, they have some reason why they’re attacking you.

00:30:06.075 –> 00:30:10.475
Now, sure, there’s some mentally ill, homeless people and what out on the streets.

00:30:10.675 –> 00:30:13.295
But generally, when you’re being attacked, they want something.

00:30:13.435 –> 00:30:17.235
They either want an object you have. Maybe it is your smartphone.

00:30:17.475 –> 00:30:21.575
Maybe it’s that big purse that you’re carrying or what they’ve noticed you had

00:30:21.575 –> 00:30:23.895
in that purse because they’ve been following you for a while.

00:30:23.895 –> 00:30:29.155
Whatever it is, think about the attack from the attacker’s perspective,

00:30:29.155 –> 00:30:33.215
and that will set you up better for responding appropriately.

00:30:33.635 –> 00:30:39.555
And Tim Larkin’s not the only one. Beverly Baker, who I really like her stuff,

00:30:39.755 –> 00:30:43.735
she does a lot in the self-defense space for women.

00:30:43.935 –> 00:30:46.715
But her company is Metro Finish School.

00:30:47.195 –> 00:30:50.935
Beverly Baker says the same thing. Now, I don’t know who came up with it first.

00:30:50.935 –> 00:30:55.395
Maybe Beverly may have adopted Tim’s philosophy too,

00:30:55.635 –> 00:31:01.855
but Beverly Baker is another one that really harps on this idea that we should

00:31:01.855 –> 00:31:06.395
take ourselves out of the perspective of the victim and put it into the attacker

00:31:06.395 –> 00:31:10.875
because that’s going to set us up better in knowing how we need to respond to

00:31:10.875 –> 00:31:13.595
that situation should it arise for ourselves.

00:31:13.595 –> 00:31:22.055
So hopefully all of that’s kind of given you an overview of getting to what the mindset is,

00:31:22.295 –> 00:31:27.055
why it’s important in self-defense and personal safety situations,

00:31:27.055 –> 00:31:32.755
how you might go about developing a stronger, positive mindset for yourself.

00:31:32.755 –> 00:31:39.435
But just to kind of close things out here, I want to talk about why mindset is so important.

00:31:39.615 –> 00:31:44.635
And hopefully you’ve picked up on some of the things that we’ve been talking

00:31:44.635 –> 00:31:50.775
about key to having a positive mindset and a can-do mindset,

00:31:51.095 –> 00:31:53.255
grit, perseverance, never quitting.

00:31:53.875 –> 00:31:59.515
But why is having a growth mindset, a positive mindset, so important?

00:31:59.515 –> 00:32:03.135
And that’s kind of what we wanted to talk about anyway, is the importance of

00:32:03.135 –> 00:32:04.955
having a good, positive mindset.

00:32:05.835 –> 00:32:09.415
Number one is, and these are in no particular order, it’s just what I wrote

00:32:09.415 –> 00:32:13.275
down, is eliminating your laissez-faire attitude,

00:32:13.675 –> 00:32:19.835
your apathetic attitude, realizing that things aren’t maybe as you think they

00:32:19.835 –> 00:32:25.775
have been, and acknowledging that, and deciding to do something about it,

00:32:26.015 –> 00:32:27.815
deciding to do something for yourself.

00:32:29.255 –> 00:32:35.035
Again, you know, looking at realities versus how we wish or how we would want

00:32:35.035 –> 00:32:40.255
to live, that’s all noble and great, but the realities obviously kind of dictate

00:32:40.255 –> 00:32:43.095
how we need to be able to respond if need be.

00:32:44.567 –> 00:32:48.467
And I think, you know, having the right mindset gets you to start thinking about

00:32:48.467 –> 00:32:52.727
things from the get-go, from the start. You know, what would I do?

00:32:53.107 –> 00:32:57.167
How should I be handling this? What would my response be?

00:32:57.747 –> 00:33:03.567
Having the right mindset puts you in the mindset of planning and changing habits.

00:33:03.567 –> 00:33:09.987
And I think anything that helps you grow is going to help you change your habits

00:33:09.987 –> 00:33:13.167
and allow you to plan better for the future.

00:33:13.167 –> 00:33:17.207
And certainly in the context of personal safety, having a plan,

00:33:17.387 –> 00:33:18.407
you know, thinking through those

00:33:18.407 –> 00:33:22.987
scenarios, thinking like an attacker and pulling together a plan is key.

00:33:23.707 –> 00:33:28.367
And, you know, piggybacking on that, you know, having a lifestyle with plans

00:33:28.367 –> 00:33:37.307
and an attitude and the right attitude in place is a great reason to have the

00:33:37.307 –> 00:33:40.087
right mindset when it comes to personal safety.

00:33:40.267 –> 00:33:44.747
And, you know, we’ve kind of already touched upon this one, but just to hit it one more time,

00:33:45.287 –> 00:33:52.827
really the key important piece to having the right mindset is it’s absolutely

00:33:52.827 –> 00:33:55.667
key to having a positive outcome.

00:33:55.907 –> 00:34:00.787
Again, you know, like I said earlier, my whole thing is, is yeah,

00:34:00.947 –> 00:34:05.627
you might get the best of me, but not before I take a piece of you with me.

00:34:05.827 –> 00:34:11.207
So with that, I’d like to wrap this one up. hopefully you’ve gotten something out of this one.

00:34:11.347 –> 00:34:16.507
I would encourage you to go back to listen to episode 13 if you have not yet.

00:34:16.767 –> 00:34:22.447
We also did, as I mentioned at some point earlier, we also did it at episode

00:34:22.447 –> 00:34:27.327
18, where we talked about situational awareness and avoidance being two of the

00:34:27.327 –> 00:34:29.987
best self-defense tools in your arsenal.

00:34:30.387 –> 00:34:34.527
But at the end of the day, when it comes down to it, having the right mindset

00:34:34.527 –> 00:34:40.127
to get us through the situations that we may be faced with is probably the best

00:34:40.127 –> 00:34:42.307
overall tool that we have.

00:34:42.907 –> 00:34:47.187
And, uh, so I will leave you with that. If you like what you’re hearing here

00:34:47.187 –> 00:34:52.087
at the self-initiative project podcast, please tell your friends and family.

00:34:52.327 –> 00:34:57.007
And if there’s a topic or something we could maybe be doing differently or better

00:34:57.007 –> 00:35:00.467
for you, please let us know, uh, follow us on Instagram.

00:35:00.467 –> 00:35:04.587
If you haven’t yet and send us a direct message and let us know what we could

00:35:04.587 –> 00:35:08.507
be doing different or better for you. But in the interim, I want to thank you

00:35:08.507 –> 00:35:11.227
once again for listening, and we’ll talk to you next time.

00:35:11.280 –> 00:35:30.718
Music.