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Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Self-Initiative Project Podcast.

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I’m your host, Jim O’Brien. Hello, and welcome to episode 33.

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This episode is kind of special to me.

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We’re going to be talking about how it can never happen

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to me and how it’ll never happen to

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me and the fallacy that that is and

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you know so oftentimes people don’t really

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give their personal safety enough credence because they have that mentality

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they have that thought process it’ll never happen to me hey and so in this episode

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we’re going to talk to six folks who’ve each got unique stories of their own

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to tell that actually is to the contrary.

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These are friends of mine, folks I know, even a coworker in the mix.

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And fortunately, nothing super terrible happened to any one of them.

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They all got away unscathed, but each of them have their own stories.

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And so that’s what we’re going to do in this episode is allow these folks,

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including myself and five other people to tell their stories.

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You know, there’s, I love psychological psychology types of things,

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and there’s a bias called the optimism bias.

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And according to the, and I know this is an abstract resource of information,

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but according to the Eastern Kentucky University.

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I guess it’s their psychology degree area on their website, they say this about optimism bias.

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Optimism bias is the belief that each

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of us is more likely to experience good outcomes and less likely to experience

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bad outcomes The key to optimism bias is that we disregard the reality of an

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overall situation because we think we are excluded from the potential negative effects,

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And again, this is from the psych portion of the Eastern Kentucky University website.

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And I think that really sums it up really well in that I think so often people

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are apathetic, but when they’re not apathetic, they’re thinking,

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you know, they’re struck by the optimism bias.

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And so they think it will never happen to me or it can’t ever happen to me.

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But we’re going to talk to the contrary of that in this episode with our stories.

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So we had five guests and I tell my stories that I have as well, which is coming up next.

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But at the end of each conversation, when folks told their stories,

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I asked everyone the same four questions. And that’s these.

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Did you see it coming? Would you have thought such a thing could happen at the time?

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What might could you have done differently, or would you have done differently?

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How has this affected how you think about and go about your personal safety?

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And so with that, we’ll get started.

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We’re talking about things that can happen, even though we think it can’t happen,

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or it’ll never happen to me.

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And I’m here to tell you that’s not all the way the case. And hopefully after

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listening to these series of stories, you’ll better understand that it can happen

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and it can happen to any of us at any time.

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But I want to tell you my stories briefly. So as a kid, and most of my stories

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took place when I was much younger.

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And I think that happens just because we’re less in tune with our surroundings

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and we don’t think things can happen to us.

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And some of that invincibility that youth has, right?

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When I was growing up, I was bullied and burglarized.

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And, you know, both when I was in the Boy Scouts and in elementary school and

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even up through middle school, I was bullied, you know, punched in the arms in the bathroom,

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gouged in the ribs at the water cooler while I was getting drinks,

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you know, whatever, poked fun of in the Boy Scouts, whatever.

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And, you know, for me, it was just a part of life and didn’t make me feel good at all.

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You know, didn’t get the absolute shit kicked out of me or anything like that.

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But definitely some people saw that I was probably someone that was going to

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be easy to take advantage of and probably was going to take it.

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Because I’ve always been, as the infamous Rodney Dangerfield said,

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I’ve always been a lover, not a fighter.

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And I guess people have seen that in me, you know, especially when I was younger.

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So I went through some of that and it doesn’t make you feel good at all.

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But at the same time, because for me, it was just normal.

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And it’s not that it happened every day or regularly or all the time,

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but it was just a matter of fact for me.

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And so I took it as part of life. And I would just say that this idea that bullying

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is going to go away or change, that’s like saying that I’m going to change all of human behavior.

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So I don’t think that bullying is going to go away or evaporate.

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I do think it’s up to the parents of those bullies to instill some better choices

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in their children. But I think it’s just a natural, almost rite of passage when it happens.

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And I know it’s serious, and I don’t want to upset those that are dealing with

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it with their children on a much more serious level today than maybe I dealt

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with it. That’s not at all.

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I know it’s a serious problem, but it is in a large degree, in my opinion,

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a rite of passage because it is human nature.

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And some of those people that are okay doing it, you know, they’re setting their

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paths in life too, just like those of us on the receiving end of it.

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But I would encourage you to reach out to your children and talk to them.

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And when and if your children come to you, be willing to turn off the TV,

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set down the smartphone and listen to them and ask questions and support them.

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Because I do believe where it happens, it is going to continue to happen to some degree or another.

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And it’s just kind of part of life, but it’s incumbent upon us to be there to

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listen to support where we can and to shut that stuff down if it gets out of hand.

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So I want to say that and leave you on that note.

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And then growing up in our house, we were in a decent part of town until it

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wasn’t anymore. But I can remember a couple of times growing up,

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we were burglarized, burglarized twice, two times, parents at work,

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us in school, whatever, babysitters, whatever.

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And the house got broken into. And at the time, we didn’t have a security system

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that predated security systems.

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I mean, there was a time, I think, when I was real young, where you could go

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off and leave your windows open and the doors,

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open, you know, just the screen door shut when you went to the grocery store

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or whatever, you know, there was a time where you could leave your house open

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and slowly but surely things change, right?

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Dare I say evolve, because I wouldn’t say they really evolved necessarily,

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but you know, there were days of being more relaxed, I guess,

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in the overall scheme of things, especially by today’s standards.

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And so we were burglarized twice.

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I remember I was probably between, I’ll say just to cover six and nine.

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And the first time we were burglarized, we were absolutely wiped out.

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I can remember telling a buddy of mine last night, I was talking to him about it.

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And I think aside from the house itself and the furniture, they got everything. I mean everything.

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And it was obviously a pro job.

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I remember I had a few dollars in allowance for whatever reason.

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I had a few bucks in my little wallet that I kept and we had gone somewhere

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and my wallet was on top of the refrigerator, had six, seven,

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eight dollars, and it wasn’t much, whatever it was, it doesn’t matter.

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They found that, took my cash, left my wallet. Of course, who would want a kid’s

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wallet? So rightfully so, right?

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But the other thing they did that I remember is that my mom had this diamond

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cross necklace that she used to wear.

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Sterling silver, white gold, whatever it was, little fine chain necklace.

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And then on the end, it had a white gold cross with diamonds.

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And whenever it was that this happened, my mom had taken that necklace off because

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she didn’t want to wear it on her trip or whatever it was we were doing.

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And she wadded it up in a, if I remember right, she wadded it up in a paper

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toweling and stuck it in the freezer.

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Okay. Who does that? Right. But you know, at the time she, I should probably

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learn, I should probably ask her where she learned that technique from,

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but they got that necklace.

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They got that necklace. So it was very apparent after the fact that they knew what they were doing.

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All of my dad’s guns were gone. All of my mom’s jewelry was gone.

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Even her costume jewelry, which was pretty fancy pants stuff at the time,

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I guess. I don’t know anything about it, but they wiped it all out.

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I mean, they basically took, again, they took everything but clothes and furniture,

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TV, stereo, you name it, they got it.

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And that was pretty devastating for us. And then we got burglarized again a few years after that.

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And they got some stuff, but were not as thorough, didn’t seem to be as,

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you know, capable or on the time schedule that the previous group had been. I don’t know.

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So, yeah, after the second time, my dad decided that he was going to put in a security system.

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And, you know, that was in the early days of security systems.

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That would have been early 80s, probably, I’m guessing. But anyway,

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he finally put in a security system, and then we had to deal with the infamous

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false alarms from time to time. But yeah, that’s my story.

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Bullied and burglarized. So again, in the spirit of having an apathetic attitude

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or thinking things can never happen to you or won’t happen to you or can’t happen

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to you because of where you live or how you choose to live your life,

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it’s absolutely a false sense of security.

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Because I’m telling you right now, things, bad things can happen to people.

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And we’re just lucky they’re not worse than what they are for those of us that

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are around to tell the stories.

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So, you know, some questions that I’m asking everyone else is,

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did we see it coming? Well, no.

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I mean, how would we know and see when our house was going to be burglarized?

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You don’t necessarily see people when they’re casing your home.

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So we never saw it happening. And, you know, I didn’t go into school every day

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thinking that I was going to get bullied because if I did or could have stood

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up better for myself, I guess, at the time,

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I probably would have thwarted that as best as I could. So I didn’t see any of that coming.

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I never thought that.

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Any such a thing would have happened because as a child, you know,

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you don’t think about your home being burglarized.

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So no, I didn’t see it coming. And what I’ve thought such a thing could have happened.

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Well, I guess I was cognizant of there being bad guys in the world,

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but again, I never saw it coming and never thought it, I guess,

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never thought it would happen to us.

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I wasn’t thinking that way. And same for bullying.

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I guess I knew there was such a thing going on with other kids,

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But, you know, I experienced it, so I wasn’t really taking a moment to think

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if I thought such a thing could happen, because it did.

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So by the time I was thinking about

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those sorts of things, it was already happening to me here and there.

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And i think you know what

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could i have done differently well you know

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i think my dad did it like it took us getting burglarized

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twice but he finally you know through financing or giving up a vacation or whatever

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it was to find the funds he finally put in a security system and after we put

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in that security system we were never burglarized again there may have been

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a couple of times somebody tried something, but that really fixed the issue.

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Just putting in the security system shut that down.

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And I think relative to, and of course I had very little control of that because

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it was evident that no matter where I hid my money, it was going to get found.

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So my dad did the right thing there. And we got serious about dead bolts and

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put in a security system and really were more vigilant.

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And I think he even hung up some lighting on the back of the house.

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But as far as my bullying goes, I don’t know what I would have done different.

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I guess if I had had control over my personality growing up,

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maybe I would have exuned or been more conscientiously aware that I needed to

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be or pretend to be someone or exude a personality that I didn’t have.

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Or maybe the first time I got punched in the bathroom, I sawed off and knocked them out, right?

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Like if I had had that character in me at the time, maybe, I don’t know.

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The bullying part, I don’t know.

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I think in retrospect, maybe I should have brought it to my parents and talked

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to them about it and kind of not turned it over to them, but at least made them

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aware of what I was going through.

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And maybe they could have helped me from the parenting and school administration side.

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And, you know, these things have definitely shaped how I go about my own personal safety.

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It’s one of the reasons why I’m so vigilant about situational awareness,

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getting self-defense training, learning to shoot and continuing to shoot and teach firearms.

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Everything I do, I can’t say is directly attributed to these events in my childhood,

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but it gives me cause to make sure that these sorts of things likely not ever

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happen to me or my loved ones again.

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And so with that, I leave you with this. Don’t ever think it can’t happen to you.

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It can happen to you at any time, any place, no matter where you are.

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And we’re fortunate that more bad things don’t happen, but it can happen. And that’s the point.

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And I hope you take that away from this, if nothing else.

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So now I’ve got my good friend Dennis on to tell his story. How are you, Dennis?

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Hey, Jim. How’s it going? Good, man. Good. Getting cool again out there.

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It is. It was cold today. So, you know, we’re talking about it can never happen

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to me, but you’ve got a story that’s opposite of that, don’t you?

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I do. I do. You know, as we’ve talked before, I served in the military and,

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you know, being in the military, you would never think that something like this would happen to you.

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Yeah, and let’s be clear, you were in the Marines too, right?

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I was in the Marine Corps. Yes, I was.

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I had just come back from Beirut and was traveling between bases and was in a pickup truck.

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And, you know, guys driving decided to pick up a hitchhiker.

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And we was in a pickup truck and I was in the bed of the truck and the hitchhiker

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got in the bed of the truck.

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And while we was back there, he robbed me at gunpoint.

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So you’re be bopping down the road between bases

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i think you were telling me you’re going from one base to

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go shoot at the rifle range at the other and you’re

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in the pickup truck you got two of your marine corps buddies

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in the bed are in the front in the cab of the pickup truck you happen to be

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cruising in the bed you decide to pick up a hitchhiker because you figure he’s

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a marine like everybody else usually on this road and he gets in the bed of

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the truck and holds you at gunpoint,

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Yep. I had my bag with me, my little, uh, not a backpack, but a little diddy

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bag. That’s what we call it.

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And I had all this stuff, pictures and stuff. Cause back then,

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you know, we were using cameras.

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I just had my film. Back in the day when there was still film. The film, yeah.

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I had my film developed and I had my pictures of my deployment and he wanted

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my bag and he robbed me a gunpoint.

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And when the truck slowed down,

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he jumped out. I told the guards what happened and he took off running.

00:17:01.227 –> 00:17:04.687
So this cat gets in the bed of the truck with you.

00:17:05.107 –> 00:17:09.767
I assume you’ve talked and exchanged hellos or what’s up, you know, whatever.

00:17:10.767 –> 00:17:14.047
And you’re just sitting back there and he reaches in his jacket.

00:17:14.047 –> 00:17:18.287
He reaches in a bag. Like, did you see it coming? Like, how did that all happen?

00:17:18.947 –> 00:17:23.247
No. Let me paint the scenario for you a little bit because it was late at night.

00:17:23.687 –> 00:17:27.687
All right. Oh, so it was dark. Yeah, it was dark. Like, you know,

00:17:27.727 –> 00:17:31.747
I remember it being a little chilly, so I was kind of bungled up and he got

00:17:31.747 –> 00:17:33.607
in and he was kind of bungled up.

00:17:33.927 –> 00:17:39.607
I was sitting with my back on the cab and he was sitting toward the end of the

00:17:39.607 –> 00:17:41.287
bed, toward the wheel well. Yeah.

00:17:41.807 –> 00:17:45.907
And I had my bag there and, you know, they were slowing down and let him out.

00:17:46.067 –> 00:17:49.707
And as we were slowing down and let him out, he pulled out a little revolver.

00:17:49.727 –> 00:17:51.547
I remember it was a little small revolver.

00:17:52.827 –> 00:17:57.467
And, you know, he told me, you know, give me a bag. and being young at the time,

00:17:57.607 –> 00:18:01.307
and I was a Lance Corporal, I probably was no more than 21.

00:18:01.907 –> 00:18:06.527
Yeah. I wasn’t as aware and trained, to be honest with you, as I am now.

00:18:07.087 –> 00:18:11.287
Marine Corps doesn’t train you for the type of training that we do now.

00:18:11.547 –> 00:18:15.527
You know, trained to just, you know, kill everything and let God sort them out.

00:18:15.667 –> 00:18:18.447
I wasn’t even my witness level.

00:18:18.647 –> 00:18:20.847
Situational awareness was not a part of that plan.

00:18:21.187 –> 00:18:25.027
No, it wasn’t part of the plan, right? It wasn’t a situation.

00:18:25.227 –> 00:18:28.867
Awareness like I have today. And, you know, he robbed me.

00:18:29.387 –> 00:18:33.607
I always remember that because, you know, when I look at my stuff now and think

00:18:33.607 –> 00:18:37.607
about my deployment, I really don’t have some of the memories that I thought

00:18:37.607 –> 00:18:40.587
I, you know, wanted to have.

00:18:40.827 –> 00:18:44.107
Sure. Because they were stolen. Yeah, they were in the bag, right?

00:18:44.447 –> 00:18:48.207
They were in the bag. And it really wasn’t anything valuable in the bag.

00:18:48.347 –> 00:18:51.187
And that was the thing about it. It really wasn’t anything valuable in the bag.

00:18:51.187 –> 00:18:55.727
Do you think that that was the first time that cat had pulled something like

00:18:55.727 –> 00:18:57.387
that along that stretch of road?

00:18:57.647 –> 00:19:00.727
Or do you think it was just timing him being there? I mean, clearly,

00:19:00.727 –> 00:19:05.527
he’s got to know where he’s at and know that that’s a corridor for Marines.

00:19:05.827 –> 00:19:09.727
Like, he’s got to be pretty brazen to make that choice. Do you think…

00:19:10.591 –> 00:19:14.151
Like, has he been successful in taking stuff before and got,

00:19:14.171 –> 00:19:16.911
you know, some money out of it and he figures it’s hit or miss,

00:19:17.031 –> 00:19:20.231
but it’s worth the risk? I mean, like, what do you think he was doing?

00:19:20.791 –> 00:19:25.791
You know, I can only assume. All right. But I think that it wasn’t his first

00:19:25.791 –> 00:19:30.571
time. And I think that every time he does it, it’s opportunity,

00:19:30.571 –> 00:19:34.151
as most robberies are. Yeah. The crime of opportunity.

00:19:34.951 –> 00:19:39.791
So, but I don’t think it was his first time. No. And I couldn’t tell you if

00:19:39.791 –> 00:19:45.551
he was a Marine or not, because he’s walking down that road. We weren’t on base.

00:19:45.791 –> 00:19:48.571
We were out in town going between bases.

00:19:49.031 –> 00:19:52.831
Today, you can get between bases without leaving base.

00:19:53.371 –> 00:19:58.451
Back in 1986, you had to go out through town to get to the other bases.

00:19:58.751 –> 00:20:02.971
Yeah, they didn’t even have paved roads in 86, did they? Yeah, they did.

00:20:08.151 –> 00:20:15.291
Yeah, he did. Yeah. So, but, you know, but just the point is, is that, you know,

00:20:16.231 –> 00:20:23.251
traveling that way and picking up hitchhikers subject you to pick up anyone. Yeah.

00:20:23.711 –> 00:20:28.731
Versus today you can travel between bases. And if you decide to pick up a hitchhiker,

00:20:28.851 –> 00:20:30.551
which today you probably would never do that.

00:20:30.851 –> 00:20:35.971
Right. Nor would there be a hitchhiker walking like that, but it’s subject you

00:20:35.971 –> 00:20:39.551
to pick up anyone. So he could have been anybody, right? Yeah.

00:20:40.291 –> 00:20:44.151
You know, that’s just something I would have never thought happened.

00:20:44.151 –> 00:20:47.031
And I don’t even tell that story too often, to be honest with you,

00:20:47.111 –> 00:20:48.431
because it was so long ago that.

00:20:49.265 –> 00:20:53.765
I guess I barely remember it, but, you know, when you mentioned about,

00:20:53.845 –> 00:20:57.365
you know, it happened to you, you know, that’s one of those things you wouldn’t

00:20:57.365 –> 00:20:59.145
think would happen to you, you know?

00:20:59.145 –> 00:21:03.485
Yeah, it’s mind-blowing to me whether the guy was a Marine or not,

00:21:03.585 –> 00:21:04.685
and hopefully he wasn’t,

00:21:04.865 –> 00:21:13.165
but it’s mind-blowing to me that that guy was so ballsy, so brazen to be hitchhiking,

00:21:13.265 –> 00:21:15.485
first of all, and second of all,

00:21:15.685 –> 00:21:18.945
he’s got to know what part of town he’s in, so to speak.

00:21:18.945 –> 00:21:24.045
And therefore, he’s got to know there’s a good probability that Marines are going to be in the area.

00:21:24.765 –> 00:21:29.445
Him just to be hitchhiking a random vehicle and then get into the vehicle.

00:21:29.625 –> 00:21:34.105
Do you think he realized the fact that he’d stumbled into a truck of Marines?

00:21:34.605 –> 00:21:38.025
I don’t know if he thought he did or didn’t.

00:21:38.085 –> 00:21:43.985
But because, you know, it’s Camp Lejeune, it’s highly likely that,

00:21:44.065 –> 00:21:46.665
you know, you figured it would be Marines.

00:21:46.845 –> 00:21:49.205
Yeah. I mean, they’re all over the place down there. Yeah.

00:21:49.685 –> 00:21:53.485
You. Yeah. I mean, who would have thought that? Yeah. Crazy.

00:21:54.245 –> 00:22:01.125
So just to ask a few questions to follow up. Did you see it coming in retrospect in the moment?

00:22:01.365 –> 00:22:05.025
Did you see it coming? And in retrospect, do you think that you were like,

00:22:05.125 –> 00:22:07.325
oh, I should have paid attention to that.

00:22:07.665 –> 00:22:12.905
But did you see it coming? I did not see it coming and in retrospect I have

00:22:12.905 –> 00:22:16.445
thought that you know I should have been more aware that it could have been

00:22:16.445 –> 00:22:21.425
worse than what it was I mean you know he could have shot me yeah,

00:22:22.205 –> 00:22:23.505
he’s got the gun right.

00:22:24.445 –> 00:22:30.285
I could have been a knucklehead and been defiant thought that you know you’re

00:22:30.285 –> 00:22:34.705
not going to take my bag and I could have lost my life off of some menial stuff

00:22:34.705 –> 00:22:39.225
so I’m kind of glad it worked out the way it did but you know I.

00:22:40.200 –> 00:22:48.620
Wish I had what’s more aware. Yeah. I wish that I knew then what I know now

00:22:48.620 –> 00:22:51.140
about situational awareness. Yeah.

00:22:51.740 –> 00:22:56.860
I can’t even tell you that I learned a lesson from it, you know,

00:22:56.980 –> 00:22:59.160
because again, I was young at the time, right?

00:23:00.020 –> 00:23:03.860
I just rolled with the punches. I got robbed. I lost my stuff.

00:23:04.180 –> 00:23:08.360
What’s next? Just go with it, right? Yeah, just go with it, right? Young Marine.

00:23:08.940 –> 00:23:13.840
Marine, right. I know we kind of touched upon this, but at the time,

00:23:14.020 –> 00:23:16.440
you know, you said you were what, 21? Is that what you said?

00:23:16.980 –> 00:23:22.260
Yeah, probably 21, two at the most. And I know you’re a Marine. We talked about that.

00:23:22.380 –> 00:23:27.040
But at the time, would you have ever thought that something like that was possible

00:23:27.040 –> 00:23:29.420
and would have happened to you? No.

00:23:30.380 –> 00:23:34.240
No, because we was trained to be invincible. No. Oh, sure. Yeah.

00:23:35.460 –> 00:23:40.960
What do you think you could have done differently or what would you do if,

00:23:40.960 –> 00:23:44.860
you know, now’s different, you know, now’s a different time.

00:23:45.040 –> 00:23:48.940
You’ve had time to reflect on that and learn a lot more about situational awareness

00:23:48.940 –> 00:23:50.300
and a lot of other skills.

00:23:51.060 –> 00:23:55.000
What would you have done differently if you could? That’s a good,

00:23:55.000 –> 00:23:56.300
that’s a good question, right?

00:23:56.420 –> 00:24:01.000
Because now, and you know, that, that’s, that would, that could be a life changing

00:24:01.000 –> 00:24:06.660
difference because back then didn’t carry was no need to, you know,

00:24:06.980 –> 00:24:09.220
carrying wasn’t like it is today for me.

00:24:10.160 –> 00:24:13.720
So today, you know, I would have been armed.

00:24:14.500 –> 00:24:18.860
I probably, if they would have stopped and I probably would have insisted they

00:24:18.860 –> 00:24:22.740
don’t, but if they insisted to do so and so on, did get in the vehicle,

00:24:23.020 –> 00:24:25.040
I probably would have been at the ready.

00:24:25.580 –> 00:24:29.140
And I probably would have been watching a whole lot closer.

00:24:29.760 –> 00:24:34.800
And if he did draw a weapon on me, it probably would have turned into a gunfight

00:24:34.800 –> 00:24:36.660
because I would have been ready to draw also.

00:24:37.220 –> 00:24:40.400
Right so it would have been one of those things of who

00:24:40.400 –> 00:24:43.380
got the first shot off in a bottle in a

00:24:43.380 –> 00:24:46.880
bottle location right so you

00:24:46.880 –> 00:24:49.760
know i you know i i think you know today if

00:24:49.760 –> 00:24:53.020
it would have happened would i’ve tried it probably i

00:24:53.020 –> 00:24:55.700
have to say that i probably would have i

00:24:55.700 –> 00:24:58.900
probably would have tested my skills yeah well you

00:24:58.900 –> 00:25:01.840
know in my head i’m thinking to myself well you know

00:25:01.840 –> 00:25:07.160
there’s a good reason why for the last period of years few decades couple of

00:25:07.160 –> 00:25:11.160
decades certainly they recommend not picking up hitchhikers right that’s like

00:25:11.160 –> 00:25:16.120
what comes to my mind immediately like this is a good reason why you don’t pick

00:25:16.120 –> 00:25:18.960
up perfectly good strangers off the side of the road.

00:25:21.380 –> 00:25:26.020
Yeah back in the day used to do that quite a bit yeah yeah there was a time

00:25:26.020 –> 00:25:30.040
where that was commonplace i’ve never done it but i understand it was a time

00:25:30.040 –> 00:25:32.420
and place where picking up hitchhikers you know,

00:25:32.580 –> 00:25:37.200
helping a brother out, so to speak, was commonplace, but probably a good cause,

00:25:37.700 –> 00:25:40.680
good reasoning for that not being such a good idea.

00:25:42.694 –> 00:25:47.634
How has this, how did that event, or how has this event, and I know you’ve got

00:25:47.634 –> 00:25:54.754
others too, but in this one particularly, how has this event affected how you

00:25:54.754 –> 00:25:57.254
go about thinking about your personal safety?

00:25:57.454 –> 00:26:01.694
Yeah, so back then it had no significant change, you know, other than,

00:26:01.774 –> 00:26:06.454
you know, I thought Ma could have got shot, you know, but I just,

00:26:06.594 –> 00:26:10.294
you know, I bounced right off and I kept going.

00:26:10.294 –> 00:26:17.814
And if I reflect back on it, you know, I think of that as one incident in my

00:26:17.814 –> 00:26:21.154
life where I should have been more aware.

00:26:22.014 –> 00:26:27.034
And, you know, I do reflect back on that, you know, in a way of thinking,

00:26:27.214 –> 00:26:29.274
well, you remember when this happened, right?

00:26:29.354 –> 00:26:34.074
Let’s try not to let that happen again. And, you know, and I could say that

00:26:34.074 –> 00:26:43.274
not necessarily hitchhiking, but being in a crowd, someone new comes up that I am not familiar with.

00:26:43.474 –> 00:26:51.274
I’m right away on alert, kind of looking at the hands and eyes, seeing what’s going on.

00:26:51.534 –> 00:26:58.074
You know, whether that person knows someone within the group or not, you just never know.

00:26:58.174 –> 00:27:00.654
And of course, all according to where we’re at, at the time, too.

00:27:01.294 –> 00:27:06.534
And so I do reflect that from that, I think if I had to say I learned anything,

00:27:06.534 –> 00:27:09.434
I think that came from that, from that experience.

00:27:09.954 –> 00:27:13.694
Right. Yeah. But yeah, you know, I’ve definitely have changed the way I look

00:27:13.694 –> 00:27:18.514
at things and how I react to certain things when, when it comes up,

00:27:18.634 –> 00:27:20.634
you know, especially dealing with strangers.

00:27:21.374 –> 00:27:25.594
Yeah, absolutely. Hopefully so. Right. Safer for it in the long run.

00:27:26.274 –> 00:27:29.314
Appreciate you doing this with me, man. As always, it’s been good.

00:27:29.654 –> 00:27:33.094
Been a good chat. Absolutely. I enjoyed it. Thanks, brother. Take care.

00:27:34.493 –> 00:27:38.693
Hey, I’ve got my good friend Tony on, and you know, Tony and I go back a number of years.

00:27:38.853 –> 00:27:42.833
Tony, you probably have better recollection than me, but we actually met in

00:27:42.833 –> 00:27:45.593
high school. How long ago has that been?

00:27:46.573 –> 00:27:55.693
I’ve known you 35 years since August of 1985, and we became friends in the spring

00:27:55.693 –> 00:28:00.373
of 1986, so I’ve been aggravating you for over three decades now.

00:28:00.753 –> 00:28:04.533
Yeah, that’s a good way of putting it, aggravating. So, you know,

00:28:04.653 –> 00:28:09.653
we’re here under the guise of talking about things that actually can happen to people.

00:28:09.953 –> 00:28:14.673
You know, a lot of times people don’t prepare for their personal safety or don’t

00:28:14.673 –> 00:28:17.433
give their personal safety as much attention as they should,

00:28:17.433 –> 00:28:21.653
because one of the main reasons is they think it can’t happen to them.

00:28:21.893 –> 00:28:29.073
But you have a story to the contrary. And so I want to talk to you about that. So have at it.

00:28:29.373 –> 00:28:35.273
Okay. Okay, synopsis is I grew up in a suburb of a major city,

00:28:35.553 –> 00:28:41.793
you know, and burglary was an annual event at my house. We lived in the city limits.

00:28:42.033 –> 00:28:47.733
It just became an annual thing, and it was during the 1970s,

00:28:47.793 –> 00:28:55.313
so security, knowledge, and things like alarms weren’t that readily available like they are today.

00:28:55.313 –> 00:29:03.033
So we just accepted it as the status quo and had suffered losses in the tens

00:29:03.033 –> 00:29:08.013
of thousands of dollars, guns, you know, jewelry, the usual burglary fare.

00:29:08.733 –> 00:29:12.033
And we just we didn’t like it, but we just came to accept it.

00:29:12.193 –> 00:29:18.533
So as the years went through, we had built up caution and certainly my father,

00:29:18.693 –> 00:29:23.533
which had a lot of valuable tools and stuff outdoors to protect them.

00:29:23.533 –> 00:29:25.433
You know, he’d put a security system up.

00:29:25.553 –> 00:29:28.273
And so that became the norm for us.

00:29:28.912 –> 00:29:32.592
Yeah. And to be clear, I mean, we’re talking about the, what is it?

00:29:32.792 –> 00:29:34.732
Let me get my geographic bearings.

00:29:35.112 –> 00:29:39.612
We’re talking about the Southeast side of Atlanta, right? To be clear.

00:29:39.872 –> 00:29:43.092
Southwest, Southwest, Southwest side of Atlanta.

00:29:43.372 –> 00:29:47.332
And, you know, to be clear, there were parts of that area that were known for

00:29:47.332 –> 00:29:51.972
being rough and trouble ridden, but, you know, some of us grew up in some parts

00:29:51.972 –> 00:29:53.712
of town like that. Right.

00:29:54.152 –> 00:30:00.472
And so our guard was up and we took extra precautions, this and that,

00:30:00.532 –> 00:30:01.752
because we learned the hard way.

00:30:02.052 –> 00:30:08.032
It cost us a lot of property and was my father’s hot button for sure.

00:30:08.832 –> 00:30:12.012
So at the right at the millennium i decided

00:30:12.012 –> 00:30:15.132
to move to move all of us which my family

00:30:15.132 –> 00:30:18.472
had been there since 1952 i

00:30:18.472 –> 00:30:21.392
decided it was for various reasons time to have more

00:30:21.392 –> 00:30:26.152
space and a better environment yeah just get out of town just finally get out

00:30:26.152 –> 00:30:32.932
of town yeah so we did that we we moved and right at the millennium and came

00:30:32.932 –> 00:30:37.552
down to down to fayetteville georgia which is you know suburb and it’s further

00:30:37.552 –> 00:30:39.652
out, and it has a very rural feeling.

00:30:40.952 –> 00:30:47.812
And I’ve got woods behind me and horse pasture beside me, so very relaxing environment.

00:30:48.132 –> 00:30:50.312
Totally different, yeah. Three acres.

00:30:50.772 –> 00:30:54.132
Yeah, nice. So nice, wonderful.

00:30:54.392 –> 00:30:58.112
And you can probably see stars down there for the first time in your life when

00:30:58.112 –> 00:31:02.072
you got there instead of the glow of the city where you were before.

00:31:02.112 –> 00:31:04.152
Just a whole different environment.

00:31:04.852 –> 00:31:08.652
Yeah, a few more stars, still got the airport looming in the distance.

00:31:08.852 –> 00:31:13.672
But yeah, so it was a very relaxed, rural feel.

00:31:15.452 –> 00:31:19.192
And so we came down here and we settled in.

00:31:19.392 –> 00:31:23.492
And I’m an avid motorcyclist and have been since I was a little tyke. Yeah.

00:31:24.032 –> 00:31:25.912
So I came down here and I…

00:31:26.545 –> 00:31:30.205
Been without motorcycles for a few years. And I came down here and decided,

00:31:30.345 –> 00:31:33.285
well, I want to buy me some motorcycles. So I did that.

00:31:33.405 –> 00:31:40.805
And I’m also an amateur mechanic. So this house has a barn in the backyard and

00:31:40.805 –> 00:31:43.645
way off the road and somewhat secluded.

00:31:43.885 –> 00:31:47.865
So I would, I would do mechanic work and some body work and this and that.

00:31:48.005 –> 00:31:54.005
So I bought my motorcycles and put them in the barn and And it’s relevant to

00:31:54.005 –> 00:32:00.545
the story because I’m not one, you know, I never rode the motorcycles around or paraded them around.

00:32:00.845 –> 00:32:09.065
It was just back there. And one summer afternoon, I was at work and I drove a truck for work.

00:32:09.145 –> 00:32:14.305
And my father calls me up and says, hey, did you move your motorcycles? And I said, no.

00:32:15.025 –> 00:32:19.125
So, well, they’re gone. So, you know, it’s like, yeah, what?

00:32:19.125 –> 00:32:28.125
And my jaw hit the, hit the steering wheel and I had to pull over and so they had been taken and.

00:32:28.645 –> 00:32:31.865
So now where were they? They were in the barn, right? They were in the barn

00:32:31.865 –> 00:32:35.445
that’s back off your, the back of your house in the backyard, right?

00:32:36.005 –> 00:32:41.525
Right. They’re in the, they were in the barn. I had had a car I was working on blocking them.

00:32:42.465 –> 00:32:48.485
Previously and felt they were safe, you know, so I’d moved the car out and within a day or two,

00:32:48.485 –> 00:32:51.625
the bikes got gone and to

00:32:51.625 –> 00:32:55.365
the thieves had

00:32:55.365 –> 00:32:58.265
to walk into the yard and take them

00:32:58.265 –> 00:33:03.765
and walk into the yard again i’m on three acres so it’s it’s a bit of a walk

00:33:03.765 –> 00:33:08.665
you know i’ve got woods behind me a horse pasture on one side and all my neighbors

00:33:08.665 –> 00:33:14.785
are more than 100 100 to 200 yards away from me so So that took some doing to

00:33:14.785 –> 00:33:17.625
walk into the yard and, and, uh,

00:33:18.045 –> 00:33:22.025
and look, peek in and see that they were there and then take the opportunity.

00:33:22.605 –> 00:33:25.585
So, uh, and you were telling me, yeah.

00:33:25.845 –> 00:33:28.925
Yeah. And you were telling me at one point in time, you were pretty certain

00:33:28.925 –> 00:33:33.045
that, you know, in the do the next morning or whatever it was that you could

00:33:33.045 –> 00:33:36.005
see tire marks and foot tracks and whatever.

00:33:36.005 –> 00:33:41.825
But the point is, is that in your new now country home out in the sticks,

00:33:42.045 –> 00:33:44.905
quiet, peaceful more stars larger chunk

00:33:44.905 –> 00:33:49.285
of property things seemingly more quiet you

00:33:49.285 –> 00:33:52.845
had two not one but two motorcycles taken

00:33:52.845 –> 00:33:59.185
out of that barn in the backyard yeah two and there were impressions tire impressions

00:33:59.185 –> 00:34:03.865
in the grass it was very clear yeah how they took them where they took them

00:34:03.865 –> 00:34:08.265
what their escape route was and all that it was right there in the grass literally

00:34:08.265 –> 00:34:12.225
so and and to the The point that you’ve made that over the years,

00:34:12.285 –> 00:34:18.725
I’m sure it was somebody that was aware and maybe watching you or casing you, as they say.

00:34:19.205 –> 00:34:24.885
But they took them out of the barn and took both of them. So it was probably…

00:34:25.834 –> 00:34:32.474
More than one person, otherwise they had to make multiple trips to get the bikes.

00:34:32.994 –> 00:34:37.734
Yeah, they took them on one trip. It had to be more than one person, and it had to be on foot.

00:34:37.874 –> 00:34:44.254
Again, they had to be pushed down terraces across grass and a big yard.

00:34:44.394 –> 00:34:46.454
They had to be pushed by two individuals.

00:34:48.494 –> 00:34:53.954
450, 480-pound motorcycles, not easy to push up and down terraces either way.

00:34:54.954 –> 00:34:57.774
So it had to be planned you’re trying so it had

00:34:57.774 –> 00:35:00.654
to be planned because again the car was there

00:35:00.654 –> 00:35:03.574
it had been in there for weeks while i was working on it and the bikes were

00:35:03.574 –> 00:35:08.714
shoved way in the back sure so my guess is somebody had been doing some reconnaissance

00:35:08.714 –> 00:35:15.234
came up to the barn and at the time i didn’t have any blinds on the windows

00:35:15.234 –> 00:35:18.894
so they could look in uh there were there were no lights,

00:35:19.554 –> 00:35:21.794
on the back of the property.

00:35:22.094 –> 00:35:26.654
So unfortunately, they had a bit of too much privacy. So someone had to come

00:35:26.654 –> 00:35:28.834
in and see, okay, now’s the time.

00:35:28.994 –> 00:35:34.234
And then they just got them. They had an advantage and they probably had been

00:35:34.234 –> 00:35:38.834
casing the place for a while and knew the weaknesses and knew what was going on.

00:35:39.014 –> 00:35:44.454
So that happened when you’re out in the country in this peaceful place and this

00:35:44.454 –> 00:35:46.734
giant piece of quiet property.

00:35:47.934 –> 00:35:51.214
You know did you see it coming did you

00:35:51.214 –> 00:35:54.094
ever think something like that would happen not at

00:35:54.094 –> 00:35:56.854
all not at all i totally dropped my

00:35:56.854 –> 00:36:02.694
guard moving down here after being on pins and needles and then coming down

00:36:02.694 –> 00:36:08.154
here to the country yeah i got horses for neighbors you know the wood you know

00:36:08.154 –> 00:36:12.154
the far the animals you know the horses make great neighbors too by the way

00:36:12.154 –> 00:36:16.414
yeah they do they are really wonderful and never saw it coming.

00:36:16.954 –> 00:36:18.954
Yeah. Never saw it coming. Totally blindsided.

00:36:19.974 –> 00:36:23.574
Would you have at the time and, you know, in retrospect and go,

00:36:23.714 –> 00:36:27.134
oh yeah, I could totally see that happening because I learned it could happen.

00:36:27.274 –> 00:36:33.834
But at the time, did you ever have a thought that such a thing could happen?

00:36:34.574 –> 00:36:39.594
Perhaps in the back of my mind, again, coming from Atlanta, I knew the reality.

00:36:39.594 –> 00:36:43.214
I was very familiar with the reality. So it wasn’t like my first birdway.

00:36:43.374 –> 00:36:45.294
So yes, it was in the back of my mind, but.

00:36:46.773 –> 00:36:51.653
No, no, no expectation. I expect, hey, I’m down here, you know,

00:36:51.833 –> 00:36:55.273
and it just totally caught me by surprise.

00:36:55.473 –> 00:36:57.593
Didn’t think it would happen. Did not think it would happen.

00:36:57.853 –> 00:37:00.833
Yeah, where you’re down there on a peaceful piece of property,

00:37:01.253 –> 00:37:06.873
big as it is, things removed far back off the road, stars out at night,

00:37:07.233 –> 00:37:10.053
quiet, just totally different where you come from.

00:37:10.053 –> 00:37:12.833
You wouldn’t you wouldn’t necessarily think it would happen.

00:37:12.833 –> 00:37:15.413
And, you know, now looking back,

00:37:15.733 –> 00:37:20.993
what might could you have done differently or what would you have done differently

00:37:20.993 –> 00:37:24.673
if if you could go back or if you were thinking about things?

00:37:24.833 –> 00:37:26.053
What would you have done differently?

00:37:26.873 –> 00:37:31.893
Illumination, the property, because it sounds obvious, but illumination,

00:37:32.053 –> 00:37:38.733
the property, because it sits off the road, there was no illumination at all

00:37:38.733 –> 00:37:41.453
on the property itself. It was very dark.

00:37:42.073 –> 00:37:45.893
Certainly, again, there’s woods. There’s a lot of privacy. So illumination,

00:37:45.893 –> 00:37:51.373
I would have lit it up immediately, which my father then, after the fact, proceeded to do.

00:37:51.753 –> 00:37:56.713
Motion detector lights, a security light. There’s a telephone pole right off

00:37:56.713 –> 00:38:01.933
the corner of the house. We put up a security light, like a street light. Yeah.

00:38:02.453 –> 00:38:07.473
So light, we lit it up. We lit up the entire outside of the property.

00:38:07.473 –> 00:38:11.113
Now, if I remember the story too, and not to throw you under the bus,

00:38:11.253 –> 00:38:12.893
but I want folks to understand,

00:38:13.213 –> 00:38:20.173
you also didn’t lock that barn or you had a lock on there, but maybe didn’t

00:38:20.173 –> 00:38:23.433
keep it locked all the time. Like maybe you should have.

00:38:23.953 –> 00:38:30.093
That’s correct. We had a padlock on the barn, but not a very, not a, not a big one.

00:38:30.533 –> 00:38:36.993
Nothing like a construction grade. It was a very mediocre lock. And that is true. uh,

00:38:37.726 –> 00:38:42.606
I did not go to check it every night because my father and I were both going in and out of the barn.

00:38:43.006 –> 00:38:46.126
I made assumptions that he would lock it.

00:38:47.146 –> 00:38:52.746
I didn’t bother to check things myself. Again, I call myself procrastinating,

00:38:52.986 –> 00:38:57.606
thinking, well, I’ll just, you know, we were going to put more security measures.

00:38:57.746 –> 00:39:02.506
We were going to put lights out eventually, but we just procrastinated.

00:39:02.506 –> 00:39:06.726
You know, we just, we’re so in love with the place and relaxation from being

00:39:06.726 –> 00:39:10.506
out of the city to just totally procrastinating.

00:39:10.806 –> 00:39:13.706
Easy to drop your guard and rightfully so. You’re in a quiet,

00:39:13.826 –> 00:39:16.366
peaceful place considering where you came from.

00:39:16.926 –> 00:39:23.426
Last question for you. How has this affected how you think about your personal safety going forward?

00:39:23.546 –> 00:39:28.226
You know, all things considered this incident, how has it affected how you think

00:39:28.226 –> 00:39:29.806
about it and how you go about it?

00:39:31.126 –> 00:39:35.686
Don’t take it for granted. Be proactive. You know, there are a lot of little,

00:39:36.046 –> 00:39:41.446
very easy and inexpensive things that one can do, like illumination.

00:39:41.906 –> 00:39:47.066
Don’t take it for granted. Don’t make assumptions. And there’s an interesting

00:39:47.066 –> 00:39:51.966
ad for security system on the radio that says it’s better to be, you know,

00:39:52.726 –> 00:39:57.586
30 days too early putting in security measures than one day too late.

00:39:58.606 –> 00:40:02.326
So it’s made me much more proactive about

00:40:02.326 –> 00:40:05.066
uh about home security think the think about

00:40:05.066 –> 00:40:07.946
those things up front initially well this has been great

00:40:07.946 –> 00:40:10.766
i appreciate you coming on and telling your story you know again

00:40:10.766 –> 00:40:15.186
the point of this is is that it can happen to any of us at any given point in

00:40:15.186 –> 00:40:19.926
time and you know the key is the positive is is that hopefully it makes us think

00:40:19.926 –> 00:40:25.146
about and start doing some things differently than we might have previously

00:40:25.146 –> 00:40:28.386
to the incident so i appreciate you coming on and telling your story.

00:40:29.166 –> 00:40:36.146
Anytime, my friend. Hey, so I’ve got my good friend Dennis on to tell us his story. How are you?

00:40:36.766 –> 00:40:40.086
Hey, I’m good, Jim. Thanks for having me. Absolutely, man. I appreciate you

00:40:40.086 –> 00:40:43.266
doing this. So what you got? What’s your story, man? What’s happened to you?

00:40:43.926 –> 00:40:48.706
Well, this was a while back for me, but I was a manager back then at a retail

00:40:48.706 –> 00:40:53.066
store, and I believe it was a Tuesday, and it was my turn to close.

00:40:53.246 –> 00:40:55.926
It was one of those retail stores that had multiple managers,

00:40:56.166 –> 00:41:00.326
and I was doing the close, and they said, we’re going to grab drinks.

00:41:00.326 –> 00:41:03.026
If you want to meet us up, we’ll be at so-and-such downtown.

00:41:03.466 –> 00:41:10.006
And, you know, anyway, long story short, the store, the closing didn’t go as planned.

00:41:10.066 –> 00:41:15.506
So I took longer than expected and I got there much later than expected.

00:41:15.746 –> 00:41:20.626
So parking where they chose to meet downtown isn’t the greatest spot.

00:41:20.766 –> 00:41:24.606
There’s no parking decks nearby and you got to circle around, circle around. Sure.

00:41:25.786 –> 00:41:28.666
It’s one of those deals you’re like man i wish i’d been here earlier

00:41:28.666 –> 00:41:31.446
but a spot opened up and i was waiting for a

00:41:31.446 –> 00:41:37.126
car to pull out a car pulled out and i was in my little pickup truck and i pulled

00:41:37.126 –> 00:41:41.106
out and i pulled into the spot and it was the only one it was close by i was

00:41:41.106 –> 00:41:46.166
happy it was well lit yeah and i was confident that it was a good spot yeah

00:41:46.166 –> 00:41:51.046
i get out and to be clear and just just to back up for just a second.

00:41:51.346 –> 00:41:54.066
This is Savannah, Georgia, we’re talking about, right?

00:41:54.686 –> 00:42:00.606
Which is, which is known kind of in general for having a high crime issue.

00:42:00.606 –> 00:42:04.646
And I think at one point in time, and I don’t know, I don’t think I ever looked it up,

00:42:04.746 –> 00:42:10.206
but I understood at one point in time, it’s been years ago that Savannah had

00:42:10.206 –> 00:42:15.786
some of, if not the highest crime per capita in the U.S.

00:42:15.786 –> 00:42:18.586
Just because the population is so dense.

00:42:18.906 –> 00:42:23.226
So it’s kind of a known, it has a reputation, is what I’m trying to say.

00:42:23.446 –> 00:42:27.046
But anyway. You said that. You said that exactly right, per capita.

00:42:27.446 –> 00:42:31.326
So that downtown area, it spikes crime really bad.

00:42:31.586 –> 00:42:35.246
There’s a lot of areas around downtown that are outskirts, like the islands

00:42:35.246 –> 00:42:38.686
and other places that’s just the opposite.

00:42:38.966 –> 00:42:42.706
So in that one particular area of Savannah is concentrated crime.

00:42:42.706 –> 00:42:47.266
And so I did, you know, kind of have my guard on in regards of,

00:42:47.406 –> 00:42:51.626
you know, hey, you know, always I’ve always been told growing up there that

00:42:51.626 –> 00:42:55.126
if you ever go downtown, don’t go alone, don’t go at night.

00:42:55.386 –> 00:43:00.006
And what was I doing? I was going to meet friends and alone and alone.

00:43:00.626 –> 00:43:07.266
But the good news was the parking spot wasn’t far at all from my where I was

00:43:07.266 –> 00:43:12.206
meeting them, you know, basically across the street, maybe a three minute walk, if that.

00:43:13.426 –> 00:43:16.046
And you said you were in a well-lit parking lot, too.

00:43:16.923 –> 00:43:20.703
Yeah, well, it wasn’t really a parking lot. In downtown Savannah, they have streets.

00:43:20.823 –> 00:43:25.923
Yeah, yeah. When a car pulls out, you pull in, and there was actually a street light not far away.

00:43:26.163 –> 00:43:31.043
So it wasn’t totally pitch black, which in many cases, that is the case where

00:43:31.043 –> 00:43:32.743
it’s pitch black wherever you park.

00:43:33.023 –> 00:43:35.323
Yeah, yeah. So I was happy about that.

00:43:36.123 –> 00:43:40.103
So, yeah, I got there. I got a spot, and I’m still kind of in a hurry state

00:43:40.103 –> 00:43:46.403
because I’m late. I didn’t want to miss out on the first round and meet everybody.

00:43:46.403 –> 00:43:49.583
We don’t get to go out much in that time when I was working.

00:43:50.503 –> 00:43:55.183
But anyway, I stepped out of my truck and I’m looking over my shoulder and I

00:43:55.183 –> 00:43:57.483
noticed there was someone walking up to me.

00:43:57.603 –> 00:44:00.983
And so I quickly, you know, locked my truck, closed it.

00:44:01.243 –> 00:44:05.843
And I turned around and looked right at the person to let them know, hey, I’m seeing you.

00:44:06.183 –> 00:44:10.823
And it turned out to be a homeless person, which once I got to see them, I realized that.

00:44:11.003 –> 00:44:16.043
And they were like asking me for some change. and I don’t ever carry cash for

00:44:16.043 –> 00:44:22.283
this very reason that you carry cash, you know, then you, you could, you could draw trouble.

00:44:22.703 –> 00:44:25.903
Plus back then I used to leave my wallet sitting around, you know,

00:44:25.943 –> 00:44:28.923
where’s my wallet looking for it. So I never carried cash, always card.

00:44:29.263 –> 00:44:33.863
And I tried to politely explain to the person, I’m sorry, I don’t have cash. I only have card.

00:44:34.283 –> 00:44:38.283
And this was right after you parked. Yeah. It was like the guy actually,

00:44:38.423 –> 00:44:41.383
I think was approaching me before it was a parallel parking situation.

00:44:42.003 –> 00:44:45.263
And the guy actually was waiting for me to get out of the car.

00:44:46.443 –> 00:44:51.903
Yeah. And I saw it as soon as I stepped out and turned to lock the door that

00:44:51.903 –> 00:44:53.383
they were walking towards me.

00:44:53.463 –> 00:44:56.623
And that’s when I kind of was like, okay, I need to address this person because

00:44:56.623 –> 00:44:59.763
I don’t want to be walking away as they’re coming towards me.

00:44:59.883 –> 00:45:03.303
So I, you know, I basically looked right at them. Yeah.

00:45:03.563 –> 00:45:07.363
And, uh, let them know that, you know, exactly.

00:45:07.763 –> 00:45:10.943
Exactly. So if something was being planned to go sour.

00:45:11.203 –> 00:45:14.903
They knew they weren’t going to get a jump on me, but it turned out to be a homeless person.

00:45:15.143 –> 00:45:18.483
And they weren’t rude. They just were, you know, asking for change.

00:45:18.603 –> 00:45:22.963
And I just said, I’m sorry, I don’t have anything but plastic on me.

00:45:23.243 –> 00:45:25.083
You know, I’ll get you next time if I can.

00:45:25.823 –> 00:45:30.663
And I went ahead and walked inside and the person walked on by the other direction.

00:45:30.883 –> 00:45:33.863
And I didn’t think twice about it at the time. I got

00:45:33.863 –> 00:45:38.103
inside and found my friends and they were already seated and they were getting

00:45:38.103 –> 00:45:42.823
their first order or second probably by that point um because you were running

00:45:42.823 –> 00:45:47.863
late exactly so they were like you’re here i’m like yeah i had to use a restroom

00:45:47.863 –> 00:45:53.343
because i hadn’t gone because i was running late and so i got my order in before i hit the restroom.

00:45:53.963 –> 00:45:57.643
And went to the restroom coming back out and some just told me it,

00:45:58.261 –> 00:46:01.361
I don’t know that little voice in my head. You know what? You need to go check

00:46:01.361 –> 00:46:03.061
on your truck. Something ain’t right. Yeah.

00:46:03.461 –> 00:46:08.421
Something ain’t right. It’s been five, 10 minutes. And so I decided to walk

00:46:08.421 –> 00:46:10.761
back outside and, you know, go take a look.

00:46:11.081 –> 00:46:17.541
And sure enough, when I got back out there, the passenger side window had been

00:46:17.541 –> 00:46:20.041
smashed in and bashed pretty good.

00:46:20.221 –> 00:46:25.041
And the. So they actually, they didn’t open the door because you’d left it unlocked or something.

00:46:25.461 –> 00:46:28.381
They had actually smashed in your window. So exactly.

00:46:28.901 –> 00:46:33.061
And, you know, I wasn’t devastated so much in regards to the vehicle being damaged.

00:46:33.261 –> 00:46:36.101
It just was, you know, frustration over anything. Yeah.

00:46:36.361 –> 00:46:40.641
And, you know, the initial thing that went through my mind was,

00:46:40.741 –> 00:46:44.121
well, it probably was that homeless person.

00:46:44.321 –> 00:46:48.721
And, you know, I didn’t make a police report. And that’s when I found out when

00:46:48.721 –> 00:46:52.861
I made the police report. I found out that, yes, it was because they said,

00:46:53.001 –> 00:46:58.821
you’re like the fifth person this week to make a report in this particular spot.

00:46:59.481 –> 00:47:04.861
So I, in fact, even walked around in the bushes area and I found the rock they were using.

00:47:04.981 –> 00:47:08.061
They would use it and then stash it in the bushes every single time.

00:47:09.181 –> 00:47:13.781
So it was a repetitive thing. And they didn’t find anything in there.

00:47:13.921 –> 00:47:18.881
You know, they found some cologne. They found one of those chair warmers.

00:47:18.881 –> 00:47:22.621
So you plug into your cigarette lighter, it warms your bomb and what else?

00:47:22.781 –> 00:47:29.201
Actually, believe it or not, I had at that time cast a paycheck and I don’t

00:47:29.201 –> 00:47:36.061
ever do it now ever again, but I had money put in an envelope and put it in the visor.

00:47:36.301 –> 00:47:40.521
And the envelope in the visor closed up high.

00:47:40.941 –> 00:47:46.281
And that’s the one place they didn’t ransack the truck. And thank God it was still there.

00:47:46.441 –> 00:47:50.021
It was a good little amount of money. And once I saw that, that freaked me out

00:47:50.021 –> 00:47:52.061
more than anything that that could have been taken.

00:47:52.301 –> 00:47:56.121
They could have been taken out of all the crap, the seat warmer and the cologne

00:47:56.121 –> 00:48:00.461
of all the stuff that got taken or could have gotten taken, like they left the cash.

00:48:00.581 –> 00:48:04.361
And so, you know, that makes me think they were in a hurry and just didn’t have

00:48:04.361 –> 00:48:09.601
time or whatever. They were looking for smash and grab versus smash and,

00:48:09.741 –> 00:48:14.041
hey, let’s look around in here and see what we can find. Right.

00:48:14.141 –> 00:48:18.101
You got lucky in that regard. I got lucky and I was grateful for that.

00:48:18.201 –> 00:48:21.221
I mean, I was upset and it took me a week to cool down.

00:48:21.461 –> 00:48:24.361
But, you know, later on, I realized it could have been worse.

00:48:24.681 –> 00:48:26.521
Could have been worse. Yeah, could always been worse.

00:48:27.481 –> 00:48:30.921
But yeah, so I went back in. I told everybody, hey, I got to go.

00:48:31.081 –> 00:48:32.581
I can’t. I’m just not going to.

00:48:32.861 –> 00:48:37.821
I’m going home at this point because I got to get. You got to deal with this. And all of a sudden that.

00:48:38.041 –> 00:48:42.141
So, you know, that kind of killed the night. But I learned a lesson that day. And, you know,

00:48:42.949 –> 00:48:46.969
It’s more or less, if you have that voice in your head, don’t excuse it.

00:48:47.369 –> 00:48:52.409
Listen to it, because if there’s a possibility that something’s not right,

00:48:52.729 –> 00:48:57.449
you know, and I didn’t mention it, but even after I parked there and got approached

00:48:57.449 –> 00:48:59.929
by a guy, something told me, hey, go move your truck.

00:49:00.049 –> 00:49:03.029
Don’t leave it there because they’re not happy with you. You just know.

00:49:03.769 –> 00:49:08.249
I just, yeah. So, moral of the story, if there is one, if you have a voice,

00:49:08.409 –> 00:49:11.709
listen to it in your head, that gut feeling, whatever you want to call it.

00:49:12.189 –> 00:49:14.989
Yeah. Yeah, I think there’s two groups. Go ahead.

00:49:15.529 –> 00:49:19.569
I’d say mine just came a little late. Yeah, no, you know, and I think you make

00:49:19.569 –> 00:49:23.649
a couple of, well, indirectly, indirectly, you make a couple of good points.

00:49:23.829 –> 00:49:29.729
One is, which is not always the case for car incidents, is that you actually

00:49:29.729 –> 00:49:31.309
had your truck doors locked.

00:49:31.489 –> 00:49:36.589
And so oftentimes when situations occur where vehicles are involved,

00:49:36.829 –> 00:49:41.429
believe it or not, people have left their doors unlocked. And on top of that,

00:49:41.609 –> 00:49:46.429
they’ve left things of value out in clear sight, which is never good to do in a vehicle.

00:49:46.669 –> 00:49:51.429
But yeah, yeah. But you make you make you do make the other point now that now I know.

00:49:51.569 –> 00:49:56.609
So the first thing is, is that you locked your doors and so you weren’t typical in that regard.

00:49:56.609 –> 00:50:01.669
And then, you know, the other thing that you point out on your own is that you

00:50:01.669 –> 00:50:06.369
should listen to your intuition. And everyone always talks. It seems like that

00:50:06.369 –> 00:50:10.209
women are the ones that are in tune to their intuition and their gut.

00:50:10.429 –> 00:50:14.249
But I think it works for guys, too. And it’s important you listen to it because

00:50:14.249 –> 00:50:16.589
you never know. And if it’s nothing, it turns out to be nothing.

00:50:16.749 –> 00:50:20.169
It’s nothing. And that’s great. But you should always listen to your intuition.

00:50:20.169 –> 00:50:21.869
And that’s a great point that you make.

00:50:22.089 –> 00:50:24.849
Just to ask you a few questions here to wrap things up.

00:50:25.089 –> 00:50:28.289
Did you see it coming? And I think I know the answer to that. But.

00:50:29.095 –> 00:50:32.775
Yes and no. Like I said, I had a little gut feeling I shouldn’t have parked

00:50:32.775 –> 00:50:33.975
there after I got approached.

00:50:34.475 –> 00:50:38.375
I think if I had cash on hand to give to the person, even whatever it might

00:50:38.375 –> 00:50:42.675
be, $5, whatever, a dollar, I might have been a little more confident they wouldn’t

00:50:42.675 –> 00:50:43.755
have broken into my vehicle.

00:50:43.855 –> 00:50:47.695
Although you shouldn’t have to pay someone not to break into your vehicle. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:48.035 –> 00:50:51.875
But if I had to listen to that little voice, perhaps I would have moved and

00:50:51.875 –> 00:50:52.935
that wouldn’t have happened.

00:50:54.355 –> 00:50:58.795
What had happened, it just ate away at me as I went into that. Yeah.

00:50:59.095 –> 00:51:02.235
Place. And then when I went to the restroom, I kept thinking about it.

00:51:02.295 –> 00:51:05.755
I kept thinking about it. It was bothering you. Yeah. It was bothering me. Yeah.

00:51:05.995 –> 00:51:09.435
So it got, it built up enough to where I went back. And unfortunately,

00:51:10.015 –> 00:51:12.075
you know, I just ignored it a little too long.

00:51:12.175 –> 00:51:15.855
And if I had listened ahead of time, but thank goodness it was just something

00:51:15.855 –> 00:51:18.295
as simple as a break. And it wasn’t something like, you know,

00:51:18.975 –> 00:51:23.715
trying to rob me in person or, you know, it could have happened. Yep. Absolutely.

00:51:24.235 –> 00:51:27.535
Would you have thought such a thing could have happened to you at the time?

00:51:28.155 –> 00:51:31.035
No, at the time. I mean, it was one of the things where it’s like,

00:51:31.115 –> 00:51:33.675
oh, that’ll never happen to me. That’s the typical of everyone.

00:51:33.935 –> 00:51:36.855
So, and that’s the way I felt too. I’m in a hurry. Here’s a spot.

00:51:36.975 –> 00:51:39.415
Let me just go in. It’ll be fine, you know? Yeah.

00:51:39.655 –> 00:51:43.315
So that’s kind of what I was leaning on. And then, of course,

00:51:43.395 –> 00:51:48.375
that little feeling came around and I wish I had looked into it sooner. But, you know. Yeah.

00:51:49.155 –> 00:51:53.315
What might you have done differently or what would you have done differently

00:51:53.315 –> 00:51:54.955
if you had to do it all over again?

00:51:54.955 –> 00:51:59.295
I would have been such in a hurry to find a good, safe parking spot.

00:51:59.295 –> 00:52:01.815
If you know you’re going to park in an area that does have issues,

00:52:02.075 –> 00:52:05.215
don’t necessarily settle for that spot that gets you there.

00:52:05.655 –> 00:52:10.095
Maybe you could have went to a parking deck where they had security if there

00:52:10.095 –> 00:52:13.655
was one around. But I think where I was at that time, there wasn’t one close by.

00:52:13.815 –> 00:52:18.135
But I listened to that voice. I could have reparked.

00:52:18.555 –> 00:52:19.375
Yeah. Yeah.

00:52:19.787 –> 00:52:22.487
That’s pretty much it. If I had to do it over, I would have said,

00:52:22.627 –> 00:52:24.227
listen to that voice and park somewhere else.

00:52:24.347 –> 00:52:28.087
It might have taken me another half an hour to find another spot at that point.

00:52:28.667 –> 00:52:31.667
And I think that’s what was pushing me to just go ahead and leave it there and

00:52:31.667 –> 00:52:32.887
not worry about it. Yeah.

00:52:33.247 –> 00:52:38.467
You want to believe that everything’s good. So you’re like, I’m here. I’m in a well-lit area.

00:52:38.767 –> 00:52:42.607
I’ll go in and meet my buddies. But something deep down inside said,

00:52:42.707 –> 00:52:44.087
hmm, something’s off here.

00:52:45.687 –> 00:52:48.747
Last question. how has this affected how

00:52:48.747 –> 00:52:51.907
you think about your personal safety or has it like how

00:52:51.907 –> 00:52:55.347
did it change anything that you do today like

00:52:55.347 –> 00:53:00.667
how does it made you think differently about your personal safety yeah i when

00:53:00.667 –> 00:53:05.727
i go to places that kind of are on a red flag radar kind of thing if you know

00:53:05.727 –> 00:53:10.047
you’re going to go to a downtown place that you already know has potential to

00:53:10.047 –> 00:53:13.267
be dangerous i’ll definitely go to a parking deck,

00:53:13.387 –> 00:53:16.547
even if it means I got to walk a long time to get where I’m going.

00:53:16.767 –> 00:53:19.847
And some people will say, well, now you’re walking. Isn’t that just as dangerous?

00:53:20.007 –> 00:53:23.527
I’m like, well, in all perspective, if you’re walking in a group of people,

00:53:23.707 –> 00:53:27.167
yeah, if I was by myself, maybe it was better to let my car get broken into

00:53:27.167 –> 00:53:30.147
and park close by. But I always try to weigh it out.

00:53:30.307 –> 00:53:34.287
And if I have that voice, regardless of whether I’m parked or whether I should

00:53:34.287 –> 00:53:38.287
be walking, or even if I shouldn’t even go there that night, I’ll listen to it.

00:53:38.547 –> 00:53:42.527
You know, if you You have that gut feeling that something just ain’t right. This don’t feel right.

00:53:42.967 –> 00:53:47.727
I’ll just listen to it. You know, what harm can you do to yourself or others

00:53:47.727 –> 00:53:50.667
by listening to that little voice or gut feeling that says, hey,

00:53:50.767 –> 00:53:52.927
this don’t feel right. Just be cautious.

00:53:53.227 –> 00:53:56.427
A little extra hassle, a little extra time, right? That’s it.

00:53:56.707 –> 00:54:02.307
Exactly. Yeah, it’s more inconvenience. But in the end, you know, it’s a safer outcome.

00:54:03.507 –> 00:54:06.347
Well, Dennis, I appreciate you coming on and telling me your story,

00:54:06.467 –> 00:54:10.427
man. This has been good stuff. So thanks for doing this. Absolutely.

00:54:11.367 –> 00:54:15.727
Hello again. I’ve got my good friend Lauren on with us. And actually,

00:54:15.727 –> 00:54:17.927
she’s also my coworker. How are you?

00:54:18.647 –> 00:54:22.587
Doing good. How are you? Yeah, doing good. Doing good. Appreciate you coming

00:54:22.587 –> 00:54:26.207
on and doing this. So you’ve got a story for us. I do.

00:54:26.667 –> 00:54:32.027
Yeah. So it all happened a long, long time ago. So long ago.

00:54:32.507 –> 00:54:37.887
I know. Actually, it was a very long time ago. Yeah. So I was in high school

00:54:37.887 –> 00:54:41.987
and did a lot of babysitting jobs and everything.

00:54:42.127 –> 00:54:44.827
And my mom at the time was in a,

00:54:45.947 –> 00:54:48.787
in a band and they were off at a gig.

00:54:49.367 –> 00:54:54.987
And so the grandmother, we were babysitting at the grandmother’s house and right

00:54:54.987 –> 00:54:58.687
next door was the aunt’s house.

00:54:58.927 –> 00:55:01.807
Well, the grandmother had a pool.

00:55:02.107 –> 00:55:06.687
And so we were kind of going back and forth between both of the houses,

00:55:06.687 –> 00:55:11.727
playing at the pool at the grandma’s and then taking the kids back over to play

00:55:11.727 –> 00:55:13.387
at the other house. To the aunt’s.

00:55:14.047 –> 00:55:19.407
And are these people you knew or just, Just contracted out babysitting clients.

00:55:21.087 –> 00:55:24.247
No, they, it was actually family friends.

00:55:24.487 –> 00:55:28.367
So some of them were actually in the band with my mom. Oh, wow.

00:55:28.467 –> 00:55:30.567
And so it was like their kids.

00:55:30.767 –> 00:55:33.807
Yeah. So you knew. So I knew them really well. Yeah.

00:55:34.647 –> 00:55:41.907
And so there was probably like five kids, all of them under the age of like eight.

00:55:43.047 –> 00:55:48.067
And so we were going back and forth between two houses all day and we come back

00:55:48.067 –> 00:55:55.687
over to the aunt’s house to fix some lunch and let the kids watch a movie maybe take a nap and.

00:55:57.107 –> 00:56:00.127
So we’re sitting the kids are in the living room they’re sitting

00:56:00.127 –> 00:56:02.967
there and i see this guy come to the door

00:56:02.967 –> 00:56:06.247
and it had one of those hurricane doors on

00:56:06.247 –> 00:56:09.287
it so it’s kind of the double sure and

00:56:09.287 –> 00:56:12.387
one of the girls gets up

00:56:12.387 –> 00:56:16.447
she runs over to the door she sees him and she’s

00:56:16.447 –> 00:56:20.767
almost about to open the door and i ran over there and i slammed it shut and

00:56:20.767 –> 00:56:25.867
she goes that’s our neighbor i was like yeah but i don’t know him right and

00:56:25.867 –> 00:56:31.427
i asked him through the door hey can i help you and he goes i need to use your

00:56:31.427 –> 00:56:33.907
phone and i could tell he was like,

00:56:34.803 –> 00:56:37.943
acting really weird like he just looked off yeah

00:56:37.943 –> 00:56:41.403
and they have a peephole in the door no i

00:56:41.403 –> 00:56:44.523
mean it was a glass door okay yeah yeah yeah storm door yeah

00:56:44.523 –> 00:56:52.923
gotcha so i’m talking to him and he’s like i need to use your phone this this

00:56:52.923 –> 00:56:57.183
kid who i guess was mentally disabled had been walking up and down the street

00:56:57.183 –> 00:57:02.683
all day and i had noticed him just bouncing a basketball up and down the street.

00:57:03.763 –> 00:57:07.343
And literally all day and i

00:57:07.343 –> 00:57:10.263
guess i had gotten on his nerves and he’s like i need to

00:57:10.263 –> 00:57:13.643
use your phone because i’m about to kill that kid and

00:57:13.643 –> 00:57:16.663
i was like what and just about

00:57:16.663 –> 00:57:19.843
as soon as he said that i happened to look over

00:57:19.843 –> 00:57:26.263
in my peripheral and he there was a shotgun he had a shotgun with him and i

00:57:26.263 –> 00:57:31.503
was like either so this dude’s at your front door at the time at your aunt’s

00:57:31.503 –> 00:57:35.643
house And you’ve got kids you’re looking after and he shows up wanting to use

00:57:35.643 –> 00:57:38.203
the phone and happens to have a 12 gauge on him.

00:57:39.183 –> 00:57:45.223
Wow. And he was like, he was obviously hiding it, leaning it up against the

00:57:45.223 –> 00:57:50.043
corner of the porch, like trying to kind of keep it out of view. Yeah.

00:57:50.463 –> 00:57:55.543
And so I was like, well, sir, I think you have a phone at your house.

00:57:55.803 –> 00:58:01.723
So maybe you should go use that one. And he’s like, no, I need to use your phone.

00:58:02.463 –> 00:58:08.283
And at that point, I, one of the older girls, I said, take the kids upstairs.

00:58:08.843 –> 00:58:15.963
And so she gathered up the kids, said, we’re going to go take a nap and took them up.

00:58:16.103 –> 00:58:19.463
There was two ways upstairs. There was a.

00:58:20.354 –> 00:58:24.314
A stairwell, like right at the front, right in front of the front door.

00:58:24.674 –> 00:58:28.474
And then there was a stairwell that went through the kitchen.

00:58:28.614 –> 00:58:30.034
Sure. Both went upstairs. Yeah.

00:58:30.574 –> 00:58:33.154
And so I said, take them through the kitchen.

00:58:33.774 –> 00:58:38.154
And so she let all of the kids upstairs. And I said, you take them into the

00:58:38.154 –> 00:58:41.074
bonus room and lock the door. Get them out. Yeah.

00:58:41.734 –> 00:58:44.454
And so she takes kids upstairs.

00:58:45.614 –> 00:58:49.754
And I’m trying to talk to the guy. And I said, you need to go use the phone at your house.

00:58:50.574 –> 00:58:56.774
And that I closed the front, the main door. So it was a metal door, thank goodness.

00:58:56.954 –> 00:59:02.654
But it still had like this, that decorative glass in the middle of it. Oh boy. Yeah.

00:59:03.114 –> 00:59:08.214
And so as soon as I closed the door, he’s banging all over the door and he’s

00:59:08.214 –> 00:59:10.874
like, I’m gonna fucking kill that kid.

00:59:11.014 –> 00:59:13.114
And I need to use your phone.

00:59:13.294 –> 00:59:21.274
You better fucking let me in. And I run, I run through upstairs to the kids

00:59:21.274 –> 00:59:23.474
and I realized I forgot the phone.

00:59:24.034 –> 00:59:30.694
And that was before, like, I didn’t have a cell phone and everything was on the landline still.

00:59:30.974 –> 00:59:36.194
And I come down through the kitchen looking for the phone and I realize it’s

00:59:36.194 –> 00:59:42.634
on the side table right next to the couch that is right in front of the front door. Right.

00:59:43.234 –> 00:59:49.214
That he’s banging on. Yeah. Yeah. And so I go back upstairs,

00:59:49.454 –> 00:59:54.434
come back down through the stairwell and just kind of like grab the phone and

00:59:54.434 –> 00:59:58.034
head back upstairs to where the kids are. And I mean, I can hear this guy.

00:59:58.174 –> 01:00:01.174
It sounds like he was about to break down the door. Breaking down the front house.

01:00:03.174 –> 01:00:07.334
At this point, he’s just irate. And he’s like…

01:00:07.868 –> 01:00:10.788
Threatening to kill us, basically. So what happened?

01:00:11.688 –> 01:00:19.268
So I go back upstairs and I go back into the room with kids and I start calling 911.

01:00:19.588 –> 01:00:23.568
In 911, I had to try three different times because I kept getting a busy signal.

01:00:23.768 –> 01:00:26.028
Yep. It’s happened to me a couple of times.

01:00:26.548 –> 01:00:30.228
The scariest thing, I’m just like, we’re going to die. If he gets in this house, we’re dead.

01:00:31.248 –> 01:00:35.008
And finally I get through and within five minutes, thanks to Oakwood PD,

01:00:35.008 –> 01:00:38.288
like they showed up within about five minutes

01:00:38.288 –> 01:00:41.728
and i’m looking through the top window

01:00:41.728 –> 01:00:46.968
and he’s they’re getting him off the front porch his hands are behind his head

01:00:46.968 –> 01:00:51.828
and everything and they come into the house and they make sure we’re all okay

01:00:51.828 –> 01:00:56.368
and everything yeah and i don’t know if it was just shock but i was just kind

01:00:56.368 –> 01:01:01.688
of like okay well i’m gonna call my mom and just say they need to come on home.

01:01:03.008 –> 01:01:07.068
Yeah. Just be cool. Yeah. So I just like, I called my mom and I was like,

01:01:07.128 –> 01:01:10.708
yeah, so there was kind of an incident. We had to call the cops. Everybody’s fine.

01:01:11.308 –> 01:01:17.948
But if you could just come on home and they come, they finally get there about 20 minutes later.

01:01:18.528 –> 01:01:22.528
And they, I mean, there was about eight to 10 cops sitting on the front lawn.

01:01:23.768 –> 01:01:28.088
It’s a party. Yeah. Yeah. And my parent, my mom was just freaking out.

01:01:28.268 –> 01:01:30.828
And so is all the rest of the families. And they were just like,

01:01:30.908 –> 01:01:34.408
oh, my God, like crying, thinking somebody had died.

01:01:34.808 –> 01:01:38.748
I’m like, no, we’re all good. We’re good. So the cops came and took the guy

01:01:38.748 –> 01:01:41.748
away. And that was the end of it. Did you ever hear anything about it?

01:01:42.308 –> 01:01:49.288
Turns out he he was an alcoholic and he did. He lived right across the street and he was.

01:01:50.512 –> 01:01:54.092
And apparently he had a reputation, him and his wife, they would both get drunk

01:01:54.092 –> 01:01:58.092
and just be out on the front lawn yelling and threatening each other all the time. Yeah.

01:01:58.792 –> 01:02:03.372
And I just got drunk, got annoyed with the kid walking up and down the street and.

01:02:03.712 –> 01:02:08.512
For no good reason. Came over to the house and was just like threatened to kill us all.

01:02:08.812 –> 01:02:13.452
Wow. That’s crazy. So how, I know you said you were in high school.

01:02:13.792 –> 01:02:14.992
How old were you, do you think?

01:02:15.852 –> 01:02:19.732
Maybe 16. Yeah. Yeah. I had to been about 16.

01:02:20.052 –> 01:02:24.192
Yeah. That’s a pretty traumatic event for 16 year old. How did you have the

01:02:24.192 –> 01:02:26.812
wits about you to know to close the door?

01:02:26.932 –> 01:02:31.172
You said the kid that you were looking after was opening the door because she

01:02:31.172 –> 01:02:34.492
recognized him as being the neighbor or whatever across the street.

01:02:34.792 –> 01:02:39.332
How did you have the wits about you to close the door and talk to him through

01:02:39.332 –> 01:02:44.232
the door and then tell your aunt or whoever to get the kids upstairs and go

01:02:44.232 –> 01:02:47.312
up the back way? Like, how did you figure all that out at 16?

01:02:48.172 –> 01:02:51.252
I just, I, like, I had a feeling.

01:02:51.432 –> 01:02:56.212
It was just kind of that gut feeling like, oh, something’s not right. He doesn’t look.

01:02:56.932 –> 01:03:00.352
Yeah. I could tell right away. Yeah. How did you know to do what you did?

01:03:01.032 –> 01:03:05.172
I don’t know. It just kind of kicked in. Like, maybe it was because my dad’s

01:03:05.172 –> 01:03:09.812
a Marine, and he taught me and my sister how to kill a person in about six different

01:03:09.812 –> 01:03:11.392
ways. The time I got in the garden.

01:03:11.672 –> 01:03:15.512
Yeah, life of a Marine. So it was just kind of like hyper awareness was drilled

01:03:15.512 –> 01:03:17.672
into us from a very early age.

01:03:17.812 –> 01:03:20.812
And it was like, this is what you do. Think strategically.

01:03:21.272 –> 01:03:25.812
Their knee goes that way. You want it to go that way. You know, like, don’t,

01:03:26.512 –> 01:03:31.072
just hyper-awareness, I think, just kicked in. Yeah, you touch on two things

01:03:31.072 –> 01:03:35.212
that, you know, I’ve emphasized and we talk about quite a bit is,

01:03:35.512 –> 01:03:38.172
you know, listen to your intuition, listen to your gut.

01:03:38.492 –> 01:03:42.372
And, you know, it’s not just women that have intuition and gut feelings,

01:03:42.632 –> 01:03:44.012
whatever, something your spidey

01:03:44.012 –> 01:03:48.352
senses, whatever you want to call it for yourself, that everyone has.

01:03:48.492 –> 01:03:52.192
And you need to pay attention to that. And then, you know, in your case,

01:03:52.192 –> 01:03:56.572
it helped that you had a parent that was vigilant and wanted to instill in his

01:03:56.572 –> 01:03:59.972
kids, you know, being extra alert and knowing what to do.

01:04:00.232 –> 01:04:04.672
Just to ask you a few questions, did you see it coming at all?

01:04:04.852 –> 01:04:07.572
Did you see this situation coming at all?

01:04:08.292 –> 01:04:15.412
No. I mean, the town I grew up in was really quiet. Like, nothing ever happened.

01:04:16.152 –> 01:04:22.832
I mean, I was aware that, you know, domestic disputes happen everywhere you

01:04:22.832 –> 01:04:29.192
go, but it You know, I’d been in that neighborhood so many times and I knew that family.

01:04:29.492 –> 01:04:34.092
I knew that neighborhood and it was a nice neighborhood. It wasn’t like there

01:04:34.092 –> 01:04:37.412
were no rundown houses that didn’t look sketchy in any way.

01:04:37.732 –> 01:04:41.752
Yeah. So it was just like, no, but I’d never seen that guy before.

01:04:41.932 –> 01:04:44.852
And I knew immediately something was off. Something was off.

01:04:45.352 –> 01:04:49.772
Yeah. Did you or would you have ever thought that something like that could

01:04:49.772 –> 01:04:51.532
have happened where you were at that time?

01:04:52.492 –> 01:04:57.592
No, not at all. Because, I mean, we had been going back and forth between the

01:04:57.592 –> 01:05:01.592
two houses literally all day. We’d been playing in the pool all day.

01:05:01.792 –> 01:05:06.052
Like, we were just happy-go-lucky, just having a nice day. Sure.

01:05:06.192 –> 01:05:09.072
And then all of a sudden, a guy shows up.

01:05:09.813 –> 01:05:12.973
And I’m like, this is about to go down.

01:05:13.913 –> 01:05:16.393
Yeah. So it sounds like you had your wits about you. And of course,

01:05:16.493 –> 01:05:19.953
some of it’s combined with luck, like, you know, some of the times it is.

01:05:20.113 –> 01:05:25.093
But what might have you have done, you know, looking back at it and us talking

01:05:25.093 –> 01:05:28.993
about this and getting prepared for this, what would you may have done differently?

01:05:28.993 –> 01:05:33.193
Or what maybe would you have done that you didn’t have done that after all this

01:05:33.193 –> 01:05:35.733
time goes by, you were like, I should have done that.

01:05:36.433 –> 01:05:42.533
I think at some point, like whenever I told when I knew it was real,

01:05:42.793 –> 01:05:49.073
like this was not good, like this was about to be possibly a life or death situation. Yeah.

01:05:49.993 –> 01:05:53.953
That when I told one of the girls to take the kids upstairs,

01:05:53.953 –> 01:05:58.013
I started kind of losing it just a little bit because I forgot the phone.

01:05:59.273 –> 01:06:03.273
And I was like, if I had just held it together just a little bit longer,

01:06:03.273 –> 01:06:05.193
I could have just grabbed that phone.

01:06:05.733 –> 01:06:08.333
And probably saved us a few more minutes. Yeah.

01:06:08.973 –> 01:06:14.853
You know? And so that’s probably the only thing. But other than that, I didn’t know any.

01:06:15.313 –> 01:06:18.113
I don’t think I could have done anything else different. Yeah.

01:06:18.753 –> 01:06:22.033
Because, I mean, it was just another day. I was just taking the kids to go get

01:06:22.033 –> 01:06:25.073
some lunch, watch a movie. And then this guy shows up out of nowhere.

01:06:25.353 –> 01:06:30.513
Yeah. How has this impacted or affected how you think about your personal safety?

01:06:30.513 –> 01:06:33.353
Or has it? I’m still hyper aware.

01:06:34.413 –> 01:06:40.533
I don’t think that’s ever going to go away just because of my dad nor should it no so,

01:06:41.153 –> 01:06:44.733
I think when I was living down in the city I could definitely tell it was like

01:06:44.733 –> 01:06:47.833
it got heightened yeah and especially after that like,

01:06:48.353 –> 01:06:52.313
I don’t know maybe I kind of pushed it out of my mind but then there were other

01:06:52.313 –> 01:06:56.713
things just being down in the city that just kind of like made it go back up

01:06:56.713 –> 01:07:00.053
and kind of brought it back to the forefront being like remember that happened

01:07:00.053 –> 01:07:03.353
okay you don’t want stuff like that to happen again.

01:07:03.673 –> 01:07:07.493
Yeah. Like always, always be aware. Yeah, absolutely. Good point.

01:07:08.033 –> 01:07:10.873
Lauren, thanks for coming on and doing this with us. Anytime.

01:07:11.113 –> 01:07:13.393
I’ll do it again if you ever ask. Thanks.

01:07:14.459 –> 01:07:17.979
Hey, this time I’ve got my good friend Raymond on. How long have we known each

01:07:17.979 –> 01:07:20.939
other, man? I was trying to think today. Is it 99 or 2000?

01:07:22.359 –> 01:07:25.059
It was 2000. 2000, yeah.

01:07:25.239 –> 01:07:30.619
Long time. 20 long, drawn-out years knowing your ass. Thanks for doing this with me.

01:07:31.479 –> 01:07:34.679
My pleasure. You’ve got a story. Tell us about it.

01:07:35.419 –> 01:07:38.839
So I was at my usual favorite bar, just hanging out.

01:07:39.059 –> 01:07:42.559
I knew the bartenders, knew the manager, and then there was this cute little

01:07:42.559 –> 01:07:45.979
girl that was working behind the bar. Yeah. You know, waitress, bartender.

01:07:46.159 –> 01:07:48.739
She’s walking around and I’m kind of looking at her and checking her out.

01:07:48.979 –> 01:07:51.419
Yeah. How long ago was this? How long ago was this?

01:07:51.959 –> 01:07:54.339
You know, I can’t remember exactly how long it was. Definitely,

01:07:54.719 –> 01:07:59.339
you know, 10 plus years ago. Been a while. Yeah. Been a while. Sure. Yep.

01:08:00.399 –> 01:08:03.339
So looking at this girl walking around, taking care of customers and stuff.

01:08:03.479 –> 01:08:06.779
And there was these two guys across the bar that was kind of giving me like the dirty look.

01:08:06.979 –> 01:08:10.399
I just didn’t think anything of it. I was just checking out the girl.

01:08:10.759 –> 01:08:14.019
And then later on that night, the guys leave. And then, you know,

01:08:14.119 –> 01:08:17.559
a few minutes later, I, you know, I cash out my tab and I leave.

01:08:17.739 –> 01:08:23.079
So I head to my car about ready to open my door and I get sucker punched by this dude.

01:08:23.099 –> 01:08:26.539
And I’m like, what the hell is going on here?

01:08:27.239 –> 01:08:31.579
And it was those two guys that was across the bar that was giving me the dirty looks.

01:08:32.259 –> 01:08:36.559
Now, the guy who hit me, obviously, you know, I freaking hit him and,

01:08:36.559 –> 01:08:38.519
you know, freaking took him down. Sure.

01:08:38.679 –> 01:08:42.699
And I kind of let him go to figure out, like, what the hell is going on?

01:08:43.139 –> 01:08:46.599
I was also keeping an eye on his buddy, see if he’s going to step in.

01:08:47.119 –> 01:08:51.999
Right. So just and then all of a sudden he just like started to like head for

01:08:51.999 –> 01:08:56.039
my car like it was going to damage my car or something. And I’m just like, oh, hell no.

01:08:56.419 –> 01:08:59.579
So I freaking, you know, took him down again. I reached out for him,

01:08:59.859 –> 01:09:03.139
took him down, put him in a headlock and just freaking choking him out.

01:09:03.872 –> 01:09:07.112
And next thing you know, he started to like reach over like my face and try

01:09:07.112 –> 01:09:11.532
to gouge my eyes out. So I freaking tilt my head up and bit his freaking fingers.

01:09:12.132 –> 01:09:17.512
And all the while I’m trying to watch his friend to make sure that his friend

01:09:17.512 –> 01:09:20.692
is not like trying to jump in, you know, engage.

01:09:21.112 –> 01:09:24.672
Do I have one fight or do I have to engage and have to do a double fight?

01:09:25.112 –> 01:09:30.552
So like, you know, I held him out there, bit his finger. And then I was like, are you done?

01:09:30.912 –> 01:09:34.712
I mean, he wasn’t response. I freaking tightened it up some more. I’m like, are you done?

01:09:34.892 –> 01:09:38.052
I mean, I kept asking him like three, four times. He finally is like,

01:09:38.092 –> 01:09:41.292
I’m done, done, you know, as best as he can, as I’m choking him out.

01:09:41.412 –> 01:09:42.352
It’s kind of hard to talk.

01:09:43.932 –> 01:09:50.492
So I let him go. And I’m like, looking at him, I’m like, what is your damn problem? He didn’t respond.

01:09:50.852 –> 01:09:54.172
His buddy just like got him and they walked away.

01:09:54.992 –> 01:09:57.892
So I went back into the bar.

01:09:58.092 –> 01:10:00.852
I was just like, yo, dude, I just got freaking jumped. I need

01:10:00.852 –> 01:10:03.632
a flashlight because I can’t find my keys i can’t

01:10:03.632 –> 01:10:06.832
find my glasses because they all flew off

01:10:06.832 –> 01:10:09.732
so i just got my ass beat man

01:10:09.732 –> 01:10:12.672
yeah basically you know well i

01:10:12.672 –> 01:10:15.572
didn’t get my ass beat but i definitely got a sucker punch yeah yeah

01:10:15.572 –> 01:10:21.012
that’s that’s it so you’re at this bar how long had you been there when you

01:10:21.012 –> 01:10:26.512
noticed these two dudes uh you know they were there when i got there okay and

01:10:26.512 –> 01:10:31.512
so they just stayed at the other into the bar and were staring at you all night?

01:10:31.692 –> 01:10:33.312
Like, what was up with that?

01:10:33.872 –> 01:10:35.572
Think of like a horseshoe bar.

01:10:35.732 –> 01:10:38.852
They’re on the corner and I’m on one of the sides, you know. Yeah, yeah.

01:10:38.992 –> 01:10:43.972
They were already there drinking. I got there, you know, ordered some food,

01:10:44.212 –> 01:10:47.952
had some drinks, checking out the new waitress that is, you know,

01:10:48.032 –> 01:10:49.152
that started working there.

01:10:49.292 –> 01:10:51.692
She’s walking around serving different tables and stuff.

01:10:52.172 –> 01:10:57.152
And, you know, she kept walking by those guys. So I kept looking at her.

01:10:57.832 –> 01:11:04.052
So I don’t know those guys thought I was looking at him and checking him out or whatnot.

01:11:04.512 –> 01:11:08.132
All I know is he kept looking at me and then like, you know,

01:11:08.352 –> 01:11:11.932
give me a dirty look like I’m looking at him or something. I have no idea.

01:11:12.152 –> 01:11:18.932
My guess he was homophobic and he just thought like I was checking him out and

01:11:18.932 –> 01:11:21.952
got all upset about that. That’s my guess.

01:11:22.212 –> 01:11:25.132
So this day, I have no idea it could be

01:11:25.132 –> 01:11:28.012
that he was drunk be it could be

01:11:28.012 –> 01:11:30.972
that he didn’t like you watching the girl that

01:11:30.972 –> 01:11:35.212
he wanted to be watching or had been in there watching before talking to before

01:11:35.212 –> 01:11:40.552
whatever who only knows what motivates people so you you’ve been there for however

01:11:40.552 –> 01:11:44.372
long you’ve been there you had some drinks these two cats are down the bar from

01:11:44.372 –> 01:11:48.352
you you’re watching this bartender waitress whatever whoever she is,

01:11:49.118 –> 01:11:54.838
They’re giving you dirty looks and you pretty sure it’s you that they’re looking at.

01:11:55.038 –> 01:12:00.238
And when you get ready to leave, you get outside partially, you get to your

01:12:00.238 –> 01:12:02.258
car, you’re almost to your car.

01:12:02.438 –> 01:12:06.458
And one of these two guys just walks up and punches you in the back of the head.

01:12:06.458 –> 01:12:07.798
Or what did he do exactly?

01:12:08.578 –> 01:12:12.958
So it’s definitely looking at me for sure, because I’m the only one on that

01:12:12.958 –> 01:12:15.438
side of the bar. Nothing behind me but the wall.

01:12:16.198 –> 01:12:20.638
Must have been some nice artwork. So just as I, you know,

01:12:20.798 –> 01:12:27.538
I literally got out of the bar, down a few couple of staircases across the parking

01:12:27.538 –> 01:12:34.618
lot to my car and was about to open the door of my car. So you’re almost there. Did you know that?

01:12:35.058 –> 01:12:38.638
I’m there. I’m open the car. Next thing I know, I get punched.

01:12:38.858 –> 01:12:43.058
You know, I wouldn’t say the back of my head, but like sideways across my,

01:12:43.158 –> 01:12:47.338
you know, my cheeks, chin, you know? Well, I mean, you know,

01:12:47.438 –> 01:12:51.458
like I said, it could have been obviously drinking’s probably involved when

01:12:51.458 –> 01:12:52.838
you’re at the bar, potentially.

01:12:53.098 –> 01:12:57.638
I mean, it could have been just racially motivated. Who only knows? It’s hard to speculate.

01:12:58.118 –> 01:13:05.798
Did you see them come out with you or was it not until you got hit that you

01:13:05.798 –> 01:13:09.858
realized they were out there and it happened to be those same two guys?

01:13:10.778 –> 01:13:16.458
So I did not see them. They had already left before I did. oh okay so they were

01:13:16.458 –> 01:13:19.038
outside yeah as far as I know they’re gone.

01:13:20.131 –> 01:13:23.291
So I walked outside, you know, the parking lot’s pitch black.

01:13:23.451 –> 01:13:24.551
There’s no lights anywhere.

01:13:24.971 –> 01:13:27.711
I’m walking, you know, there’s a couple of lights in the back,

01:13:27.831 –> 01:13:31.411
back of the building, but I’m on the side of the building where the exit was.

01:13:31.651 –> 01:13:35.431
Right. Now I’m walking out. I didn’t really pay attention, you know. Yeah.

01:13:35.791 –> 01:13:41.611
Yeah. Same bar that I go to almost two, three times a week. You know, I know the joint.

01:13:41.871 –> 01:13:47.391
Right. I’m walking out, same parking lot. So it sounds like they may have gone out to wait on you.

01:13:47.831 –> 01:13:54.071
Oh, absolutely. So was there anything like that you did at the gas station before

01:13:54.071 –> 01:13:58.591
you got to this bar and maybe they were at the gas station and you did something,

01:13:58.751 –> 01:14:01.231
cut them off or no, no, no.

01:14:01.411 –> 01:14:05.271
Jump in front of them like there was no, it was just two dudes at the bar when

01:14:05.271 –> 01:14:09.671
you got there and they were just eyeballs messing with you from the time you sat down.

01:14:10.851 –> 01:14:14.331
So they were already at the bar, so I didn’t meet them anywhere.

01:14:14.851 –> 01:14:18.191
They were already there. They already had drinks in their hands.

01:14:18.191 –> 01:14:20.591
And so I have no idea how long they were there. Yeah.

01:14:21.171 –> 01:14:26.891
Far as them eyeballing me, I didn’t notice anything until probably like 20,

01:14:26.991 –> 01:14:30.571
30 minutes into it because I’m drinking and eating and checking out.

01:14:30.871 –> 01:14:32.631
Yeah. You know, checking the waitress.

01:14:32.951 –> 01:14:36.991
So, you know, as I check out the waitress, but she’s, you know,

01:14:37.071 –> 01:14:39.191
handing customers behind them. Right.

01:14:39.471 –> 01:14:44.211
So I’m checking her out. So, you know, I’m overlooking these guys.

01:14:44.211 –> 01:14:48.831
It must be your intimidating stare that they took offense to, Raymond.

01:14:49.591 –> 01:14:55.031
Maybe, maybe. You know, you got that Korean power behind you,

01:14:55.031 –> 01:14:57.131
so maybe they took offense to that.

01:14:57.731 –> 01:15:01.491
Trust me, if I was getting an intimidating look, it would have been much more

01:15:01.491 –> 01:15:05.571
different than me overlooking their shoulders, checking out the girls online.

01:15:05.831 –> 01:15:09.771
Yeah, well, you know, at distance, it’s hard to know what someone’s looking at.

01:15:09.931 –> 01:15:13.411
All you can do is that they’re looking in your direction sometimes,

01:15:13.711 –> 01:15:15.671
right? But it could have been anything.

01:15:15.911 –> 01:15:19.451
It could, you know, guys gunning for a fight, a little alcohol in the mix.

01:15:19.971 –> 01:15:23.371
One of the guys could have thought it was his girl you were looking at.

01:15:23.551 –> 01:15:28.231
Or maybe they thought you were looking at them trying to intimidate them and start stuff.

01:15:28.991 –> 01:15:32.351
Who knows? Yeah, who knows? It’s all speculation at this point.

01:15:32.471 –> 01:15:35.271
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it’s, who knows?

01:15:35.511 –> 01:15:39.851
It’s just craziness can happen anywhere for any time, which is why we’re here talking.

01:15:40.351 –> 01:15:45.031
Just to ask you a few questions, thinking back on stuff, did you see it coming?

01:15:45.711 –> 01:15:48.191
I mean, yeah, they were staring at you throughout the night,

01:15:48.291 –> 01:15:52.511
but that doesn’t mean that they’re going to engage in a fight or try to jump you in the parking lot.

01:15:52.611 –> 01:15:54.991
Did you see it coming? No, I did not see it coming.

01:15:55.771 –> 01:16:01.231
You said it was your watering hole, right? Your bar that you frequented, at least some.

01:16:01.551 –> 01:16:05.011
Would you have ever thought such a thing could have happened at the time?

01:16:05.471 –> 01:16:09.631
No, absolutely not. There’s even a bouncer at the door.

01:16:09.771 –> 01:16:14.651
He just happened to walk in because most of the customers had already left. Yeah, yeah.

01:16:15.211 –> 01:16:19.731
Looking back on the situation, is there something you think you might have done

01:16:19.731 –> 01:16:23.031
differently or could have done differently? either to, you know,

01:16:23.331 –> 01:16:28.811
either it was in your avoidance strategy or your fighting back strategy?

01:16:28.991 –> 01:16:32.391
Like, is there anything you would have changed about the situation or done differently?

01:16:33.511 –> 01:16:37.091
Strategy-wise, fighting strategy, no, I wouldn’t have done everything different.

01:16:37.351 –> 01:16:41.231
You know, basically, you know, I got them, got close, hit them,

01:16:41.411 –> 01:16:43.491
took them down, you know, typical stuff.

01:16:44.251 –> 01:16:49.091
Far as maybe trying to avoid the situation, possibly. I mean,

01:16:49.171 –> 01:16:53.711
I could have walked over to those guys and say, hey, man, is she pretty hot or what?

01:16:53.831 –> 01:16:57.731
I mean, try to strike some type of conversation. I guess I could have done that.

01:16:58.231 –> 01:17:02.091
But, you know, they seemed like they were kind of on their own and didn’t want

01:17:02.091 –> 01:17:03.991
to be bothered. So, you know. Yeah, right.

01:17:04.731 –> 01:17:08.171
Yeah, not looking to make friends in the bar. Yeah, exactly.

01:17:08.491 –> 01:17:10.731
At least not with dudes on the other side of the bar.

01:17:12.651 –> 01:17:16.651
Well, I mean, the bar wasn’t that busy and it’s not that big, you know. Right.

01:17:17.771 –> 01:17:24.131
So they’re not well lit. This situation when you go out, because I know you go out still quite a bit.

01:17:25.271 –> 01:17:29.851
How has this situation affected how you think about or go about your personal

01:17:29.851 –> 01:17:32.531
safety? Has it changed anything for you?

01:17:33.691 –> 01:17:40.011
No, not necessarily. You know, obviously, you know, that whole shortly after

01:17:40.011 –> 01:17:45.011
for X period of time, I was obviously a little bit more diligent about my surroundings.

01:17:45.411 –> 01:17:50.411
Yeah. But, you know, that was years and years ago that that kind of diligence has really dropped.

01:17:51.071 –> 01:17:56.031
But after being, you know, overseas and down in the war zone and coming back,

01:17:56.391 –> 01:17:59.211
my diligence has kind of picked up a little bit. Yeah.

01:17:59.471 –> 01:18:03.131
So it just really depends, I guess, on the situation.

01:18:03.351 –> 01:18:09.731
If it’s like a whole big crowd, I’m kind of looking, but not really looking. Right.

01:18:10.031 –> 01:18:15.031
Yeah. If you know, if there’s somebody that’s kind of like a medium based crowd and they’re.

01:18:15.591 –> 01:18:18.931
People could charge at me or something. Yeah, I’m going to definitely take a

01:18:18.931 –> 01:18:19.971
look a little bit here and there.

01:18:20.151 –> 01:18:25.391
So you’re paying more attention than you probably might have otherwise. Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

01:18:27.126 –> 01:18:30.046
Well, that’s been a good story. Thanks so much for coming on and sharing it

01:18:30.046 –> 01:18:32.286
with us. Thanks. Thanks a lot.

01:18:33.146 –> 01:18:36.866
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