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Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Self-Initiative Project Podcast.

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I’m your host, Jim O’Brien.

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Hey, welcome back. Welcome to Podcast 36. And this time I’ve got my good buddy,

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Denis Haynes, back on with me, former Marine, gun enthusiast,

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caretaker, and my brother from another mother. Denis, how are you, sir?

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I’m doing good, brother from another mother.

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Right. And this episode, you know, it’s kind of, you know, for you,

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I think there’s been some light bulbs go off in your head recently.

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We wanted to talk about personal safety for the disabled, and that can take

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on a lot of different forms, right? You know, being disabled doesn’t have to

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be a permanent thing or a severe thing, but, you know, it does impact a lot of people.

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And so you were kind of the genesis of us putting this particular podcast together.

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But with that being said, I had another buddy of mine on Instagram,

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Jeff, who wanted me to talk specifically for his benefit on some things that

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he could do for his personal safety.

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And he suffers from, Jeff, I hope you don’t mind me talking about you,

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but just for the sake of transparency,

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you know, he suffers from Crohn’s disease and from day to day,

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you know, some days he might be doing okay and other days he doesn’t do so well.

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So he was hoping that I could provide some magical bullets.

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And, you know, I want to say that right up front for those listing,

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thinking that there’s going to be some information that gives you magic or something

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that’s going to work, you know, 90 plus percent of the time.

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It always just depends. Right. And something that works for someone in one situation

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may not work for someone else in the exact same situation or something you may

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be able to do for yourself one day because of your disabilities or your handicap,

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you may not be able to do on the next.

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But as far as why I wanted to have you on here, you recently have gone through some stuff yourself.

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If you don’t mind me saying, you now have had your second knee,

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your other knee out of the three that you have replaced recently. Is that right?

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Yeah, I had my second knee replacement. And to be honest with you,

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you know, five years later and being five years older, the recovery wasn’t the

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same or is not the same because I’m still going through it as my first knee.

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Replacement and i’m finding myself feeling disadvantaged and you know that’s

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why we we talked about this yeah i was uh.

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I was recently in the gun store making a gun purchase and walking with a cane,

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which I typically don’t do.

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And I really should have had a walker, but the store that I was going into isn’t

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handicap friendly. So I couldn’t get a walker in there.

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So I had my cane and I, you know, made my purchase and it dawned on me as I

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was walking out with my pistol on the arm, my cane.

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On the other hand, I was caring, right?

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But as I turned and started facing the door, it dawned on me how everyone just

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saw me make this purchase.

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The store is packed. Yeah. There were a lot of people standing around outside of the store.

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Sure. And my senses went off. You know, I went to like an orange, right?

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Thinking, okay, if someone attacks me, I’m not at full capacity because,

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you know, I’m not always going to go to my gun. As we’ve talked before,

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your gun is not your first line of French, right?

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I’m just going to, you know, try to deescalate first and, you know,

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if I could talk through or, you know, hands on first.

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And I just realized that, you know, with the way I am right now,

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hands packed and with a crutch and a bum knee, I felt vulnerable.

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And it made me think, you know, So how do you train yourself for something like that, right?

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How do you, what are the things you think about?

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I’ve always thought about what I would do if I got attacked and I was able to

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engage fully healthy or, you know, in a gunfight.

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But I never thought about, you know, being disabled.

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And what do you do? You know, how do you protect yourself? What are the things

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you should do? What are the things I should carry?

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You know, where should I be looking?

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To attack someone if I’m slightly disabled.

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I’m not going to get on the ground and crawl with them because I could barely

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get on the ground as it is.

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Just those things ran through my head.

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Yeah, you know, you bring up a good point.

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If you’re otherwise a healthy individual and you find yourself having gone through

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major surgery like yourself or something else, you know, whatever it is, sports injury,

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maybe you’re just down for the count because you’ve got a badly twisted ankle

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or whatever, playing soccer, and you find yourself on crutches for the first

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time in your life, you know, whatever it is, you know, it may not be a permanent thing.

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It could be just temporary, but whatever it is that caused you to get there,

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you know, it’s kind of eye-opening.

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I can imagine it was kind of scary, right, to think about your vulnerability

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and, dare I say, your weakened state, right?

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Because it wouldn’t normally be something you’d be concerned about.

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You know, you carry yourself strongly out in public. You generally concealed

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carry permit, you know, owner.

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You know, you’ve got a weapon on you at any given time. you’re staying alert,

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whatever, but now you’ve found yourself, albeit perhaps temporary,

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you found yourself in a situation where you’re vulnerable, in a weakened state,

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and, you know, oh gosh, you know, the spidey senses went off and,

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you know, maybe you found yourself in the orange color,

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you know, sooner than later, Cooper’s colors of alertness, right?

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White, yellow, orange, red, and black, right? When things start getting wrong.

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You know, you might find yourself in an orange state and it sounds like you

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got in an orange state, not because anything was going on around you,

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but you just had the light bulbs go off for yourself. Hey, I’m vulnerable.

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What do I, I’m normally not like this. Right, exactly.

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Yeah, so, you know, there’s varying degrees, not to overstate the obvious,

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but obviously there’s varying degrees of being disabled, handicapped, whatever.

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Again, ranging from anything from those that have gone through significant surgeries

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like yourself, having your second knee replaced,

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temporarily down for the count, so to speak, or at least not at full strength,

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finding yourself leaning heavily on supportive tools like a cane or a walker,

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whatever it might be, to those that suffer more ongoing long-term disabilities

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like arthritis or Crohn’s disease, as we’ve mentioned.

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Everything all the way up to

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being potentially a quadriplegic or a paraplegic in a wheelchair, right?

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And so what do you do? What are your options for personal safety and taking care of yourself?

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And as I was talking with someone the other day, and I mentioned to you just

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before this thing started.

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As far as physically responding to scenarios and situations,

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there’s no magic bullet to that, right?

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You can only do what you can do, and you can only do what you’ve trained in and know how to do.

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And even with all that being said, there’s still no magic bullet that’s going

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to ensure that you’re able to get out of the situation at hand, right?

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But with that being said, even with physical limitations, knowing that there’s

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no magic bullets, there’s still some things that you can do as an individual

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to keep yourself safe, right?

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Or safer, I should say, when you’re out in public, when you’re in a state like that.

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Yeah. So again, you know, I had to kind of think through that.

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And what are those things for me?

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And one of the things I did think about was, you know, fortunately for me,

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the can I was walking with wasn’t a no man’s can. It was, I don’t know where

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I got this came from, but it has a heavy brass handle on it. Sure.

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And I thought, you know, that’s definitely a weapon. And I found myself walking

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with the cane more as a club until I got to the car than using it for assistance that I needed. Yeah.

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And, again, it was just, you know, being in a prepared state.

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Because, again, that cane, the handle is heavy brass.

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And I thought, well, if nothing else, you know, I can at least defend myself

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a little bit and get to a safe spot.

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But, you know, that’s what I did. But it made me think again,

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you know, how do other people think that are permanently disabled,

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right, or at a disadvantage, you know?

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What is their mindset when it comes to personal safety? Yeah.

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Well, you know, that’s a good question. Like, what is the mindset for the general

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populace, disabled or not, when it comes to personal safety?

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And we could probably spend some time talking about that in general.

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But I imagine that for anybody that’s disabled or handicapped,

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whether it’s a temporary thing or a permanent thing where you’re limited in

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mobility and what you can do and what you can respond with, this is a concern, right?

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Especially when you’re out in public by yourself, like you were describing being at the gun shop.

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And so, you know, you bring up a good point, you know, improvised weapons and

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canes are a great option. Is it the option?

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Is it the answer? Well, maybe, maybe not.

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Like you, can you afford to carry your cane or use your cane in an offensive

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manner, or are you 100% dependent on that tool for balance and for being able to move, right?

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Being able to walk in whatever capacity you’re capable of.

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So even something like a cane isn’t necessarily an answer for everyone all the

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time because it’s going to depend on your dependency of that tool that you opt to use.

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If you’re not 100% dependent on it, a cane can be a great defensive tool.

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So thinking about improvised weapons and what you can do for yourself,

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given what you have on hand to utilize, is a great way to start thinking about these things.

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You know and i want to

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say this too you know kind of avoiding the whole physical thing because

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again it’s going to depend on what your incapacities are

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and whether or not they’re temporary or permanent whether

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or not you’re out in public with someone or not you know

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there’s a lot of things that you can do for yourself even

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before you leave the house and you know

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we’ve talked about safety around the

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house we talked about that back in podcast six so

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it’s been a while ago now seeing as how this is

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36 and we also talked about safety in

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and around your vehicles and that was podcast number

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11 so if you guys haven’t had time or have

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not listened to those or weren’t aware of podcast 6 and podcast 11 will give

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you a great overview of things that you can be doing in your house and again

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in and around your vehicle to make yourself safer whether that’s a security

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system lighting in and around your house,

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what you do with your vehicle when you’re in it, et cetera.

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So there’s always things that we can be doing,

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And if you’re out in public on your own by yourself, then obviously things like

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situational awareness and avoidance.

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Learning how to verbally de-escalate, those things will get you a lot further

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than worrying about the physical aspects, certainly as well.

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I agree. You know, one of the things I felt like I was taking a test as I was walking to the car,

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I started to think, should I remote start the car and have it running so I can

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get there and the car will be running? I have to do a stick my key in.

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How far away from the car should I unlock it before I get there?

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And then again, in that same thought process, looking to see if there was anyone

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lurking around the car to make sure that I can get in the car safely.

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And then even as I was walking to the car, I thought about, okay,

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do I open the back door first and put everything in? Do I just get into the

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car, right, the driver’s seat and then put everything in the passenger street?

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So, you know, there was probably 20 different thoughts running through my head.

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All at the same time, yeah. Limping to the car, you know, with this cane in my hand as a club.

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All right. But it made me think, you know, when I’m at full capacity,

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I don’t think through that kind of stuff that much. Yeah.

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But it made me think through that. And it made me realize, okay,

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those are things you probably need to, you know, brush up on.

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Don’t take them for granted.

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You know, those should be at the forefront of your mind every time,

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whether you’re healthy or not.

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Yeah, I think you make a really good point. A couple of really good points is,

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you know, being disabled, especially if you’re otherwise healthy and aren’t

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typically finding yourself in a situation of being disabled.

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It can be eye-opening, right? Because it really makes you think about things

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you may not, even though you probably should be,

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you may not be normally thinking about because you’re at full capacity or near

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full capacity, at least some of us,

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in your normal circumstances.

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And, you know, being vulnerable will likely make you pay more attention to, right?

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Like to your point, that’s what you were saying. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing because,

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you know, hopefully if you’re in a temporary situation, you’ve learned your

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lesson and it makes you think more about the things that you should be doing

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more often than not. So those are a couple of good points.

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I know this is a hot topic. And I think when you and I first talked about doing

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this podcast and again, my buddy, Jeff, and what he was thinking and wanting

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me to talk about, you know, what kind of physical things could I do? Can I do, et cetera?

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Well, it’s really going to depend. And again, that’s not an answer that a lot of folks want to hear.

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But honestly, your scenario differs than the next person. So it’s always going to depend.

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We’ve talked about a cane, for example. A cane is a great personal defense weapon,

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but only if you’re not so dependent on it that you can’t afford to pick it up

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and whack somebody over the head or whatever, because if you did,

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you would lose your balance and fall over, right?

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Or if you’re unable to grab hold of a wall or the vehicle in the parking lot

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that you’re next to and use that as balance to hold yourself up while you use

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that cane, that may not be an option for you, right?

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If you’re in a wheelchair, especially one of these big, heavy electrical wheelchairs,

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maybe if you find yourself in a situation, maybe, you know, pushing that go

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button forward and running over their feet could be an option for you, right? Right.

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But again, if that doesn’t fit your circumstances or you don’t feel like you

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can do that in the moment, it may not be an option.

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Some of the physical things that you could do if someone were close enough is

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you might be able to throw a knee or an elbow.

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But those are typically close range type maneuvers.

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Right. And again, you have to have the physicality to be able to do those things.

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They’re devastating at close range.

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You know, when it comes to in terms of fighting and self-defense,

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we think of three ranges with attacks and fighting.

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Long range being kicks, right? Kicks and such.

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Medium range being punches and similar strikes.

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And then close range being, you know, elbows and knees potentially, right?

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But if you don’t have the physicality to do those things, then those aren’t

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necessarily great options for you.

00:16:19.901 –> 00:16:24.861
If you can do them, you know, at medium range, a palm strike or a hammer fist

00:16:24.861 –> 00:16:28.781
can be just as devastating as a punch to the face, right?

00:16:28.861 –> 00:16:33.301
Especially if you don’t know how to punch properly and worry about busting up your hand.

00:16:33.441 –> 00:16:36.861
Hammer fists are great because you can work them at multiple angles.

00:16:37.441 –> 00:16:42.521
If you are close enough and have the capabilities, elbow strikes and knees are wonderful.

00:16:42.601 –> 00:16:47.101
But, you know, for somebody that’s on a cane or confined to a wheelchair,

00:16:47.461 –> 00:16:49.601
those things may not be an option.

00:16:49.621 –> 00:16:56.701
So there’s not one or two or three magical physical things that you can do that

00:16:56.701 –> 00:17:01.341
you’re going to be able to employ every time, or that will work every time.

00:17:01.641 –> 00:17:07.621
Something that might work better for you, if you find yourself in a bad situation,

00:17:07.801 –> 00:17:13.001
is using your voice, yelling for help, yelling fire, yelling,

00:17:13.201 –> 00:17:16.101
stop, get away, back up, Right.

00:17:16.241 –> 00:17:19.521
And if it continues getting louder and louder progressively,

00:17:19.521 –> 00:17:22.181
the voice is a powerful tool. Right.

00:17:22.321 –> 00:17:27.961
And everybody, pretty much regardless of your situation, at least most situations,

00:17:27.961 –> 00:17:30.041
your voice is always an option.

00:17:30.873 –> 00:17:33.693
Yes. And it could be, too, that, look.

00:17:34.533 –> 00:17:37.973
You know, if you’re feeling unsafe or, you know, you’ve got to go to a bad part

00:17:37.973 –> 00:17:40.833
of town to do whatever business you’re conducting, et cetera,

00:17:41.113 –> 00:17:47.293
it may be a good idea and advisable for you to take a loved one or a close friend

00:17:47.293 –> 00:17:51.753
with you that can help, you know, take care of you and protect you. Right.

00:17:51.913 –> 00:17:58.333
Like going places by yourself may be less feasible than not when you find yourself

00:17:58.333 –> 00:18:02.393
disabled again, whether that’s temporary or permanently, you know,

00:18:02.473 –> 00:18:04.073
you might want to go in groups.

00:18:04.273 –> 00:18:07.173
There’s always strengths and strength and numbers. Right.

00:18:07.713 –> 00:18:13.953
Yeah. You know, I agree. I think that I think that if you are concerned,

00:18:13.953 –> 00:18:17.413
right, and you feel that you’re disadvantaged, I think one of the key things,

00:18:17.533 –> 00:18:19.093
as you said, strength in numbers.

00:18:19.533 –> 00:18:24.213
You know, I definitely agree that, you know, you’re using your voice or having

00:18:24.213 –> 00:18:28.153
even, you know, some sort of audible device.

00:18:28.633 –> 00:18:32.873
Right. It definitely helps as a deterrent.

00:18:34.153 –> 00:18:37.753
Now I think about it even more, that’s probably a great idea.

00:18:37.933 –> 00:18:43.293
I know that if I was going to attack someone, not that I ever would,

00:18:43.393 –> 00:18:46.213
and the next thing I know is a big blowhorn coming at me.

00:18:46.393 –> 00:18:49.193
How do you think twice, right? Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:50.093 –> 00:18:54.213
I think twice about moving forward, right? So that’s probably a great idea.

00:18:54.373 –> 00:18:57.753
Mace is another one. Yeah.

00:18:57.913 –> 00:19:00.533
Some of those tools. And so, you know, that’s a great point,

00:19:00.573 –> 00:19:05.093
too, in addition to things like the cane or the big 480 pound electric wheelchair

00:19:05.093 –> 00:19:09.573
you’ve got, which you could use as a weapon if you found an opportune moment is,

00:19:09.813 –> 00:19:13.573
you know, all the tools that everyone else has to employ,

00:19:13.873 –> 00:19:16.233
whether that’s, like you said, mace.

00:19:16.965 –> 00:19:24.045
A taser, a knife, or even a firearm. But now, obviously, even those have their

00:19:24.045 –> 00:19:29.685
limitations based on the sort of disability or handicap that you might be dealing with.

00:19:30.725 –> 00:19:36.825
But those are all possible options. And, you know, everybody likes to talk about

00:19:36.825 –> 00:19:41.665
weapons and defense mechanisms and things you could do physically to respond.

00:19:41.665 –> 00:19:46.645
But I’m going to say it, I think we’ve already mentioned it a time or two already.

00:19:47.765 –> 00:19:52.865
Being disabled, whether it’s temporary or more long-term or permanent,

00:19:53.185 –> 00:19:57.045
whatever, there’s a lot of merit to you.

00:19:57.465 –> 00:20:02.325
And if you need to be with someone, which I know some people do need to be,

00:20:02.625 –> 00:20:09.705
it’s important for you and them to be very proactive in being situationally

00:20:09.705 –> 00:20:12.245
aware, knowing where you are.

00:20:12.245 –> 00:20:16.185
If you’re going into a bad part of town, knowing where you’re going ahead of

00:20:16.185 –> 00:20:18.665
time, so you kind of know what to be on the lookout for,

00:20:19.325 –> 00:20:23.245
knowing areas to avoid, you know, whether you’re disabled or not,

00:20:23.445 –> 00:20:26.765
even though it’s a shortcut back to the parking lot after the concert,

00:20:27.065 –> 00:20:29.765
going down that questionable dark alley,

00:20:30.405 –> 00:20:34.465
yeah, it’s a couple extra blocks to go around it. That’s all still valid.

00:20:34.725 –> 00:20:41.365
So again, just because you’re disabled or handicapped temporarily or more long-term

00:20:41.365 –> 00:20:45.985
doesn’t give you a free pass on the basics of personal safety, right?

00:20:45.985 –> 00:20:51.785
And so I think situational awareness for you as the individual that’s been disabled

00:20:51.785 –> 00:20:54.945
or the caretaker that’s with you,

00:20:54.965 –> 00:21:00.825
it’s incumbent on you guys to still practice those good foundational personal

00:21:00.825 –> 00:21:03.685
safety things like situational awareness,

00:21:03.905 –> 00:21:07.785
avoidance, and verbal de-escalation, if nothing else.

00:21:07.965 –> 00:21:10.065
And then if things get out of hand…

00:21:10.961 –> 00:21:16.501
At the end of the day, depending on the situation and what kind of condition

00:21:16.501 –> 00:21:21.281
state you’re in, compliance is also an answer, too, right?

00:21:21.501 –> 00:21:25.281
People don’t like to hear that, especially men, right? Because men are like,

00:21:25.421 –> 00:21:27.501
rah, rah, you know, I don’t want to be a coward.

00:21:27.701 –> 00:21:30.241
I don’t want to run away out of a bad situation.

00:21:30.661 –> 00:21:34.141
I don’t want to comply. F that, I’m going to fight. You know,

00:21:34.261 –> 00:21:37.461
I’m going to pull out my gun if I have to. Whatever it is, right?

00:21:38.421 –> 00:21:43.321
Compliance is still an answer. And if you don’t have other options or in that

00:21:43.321 –> 00:21:48.141
moment, you know, you kind of have a brain fart or you don’t feel like you have

00:21:48.141 –> 00:21:52.021
any options, any other options, compliance is your friend.

00:21:52.141 –> 00:21:55.781
And there’s nothing wrong with that because that means you get to go home safe again, right?

00:21:55.981 –> 00:22:00.421
And when it comes to property, whether it’s your purse, a wallet,

00:22:00.701 –> 00:22:05.461
a cell phone, a vehicle even, that’s what insurance is for, right?

00:22:05.601 –> 00:22:09.241
And all of that stuff is replaceable. you getting

00:22:09.241 –> 00:22:12.161
beat up so bad that you’re on the ground and can’t

00:22:12.161 –> 00:22:15.741
get up because of your disabilities or because they took your cane when they

00:22:15.741 –> 00:22:20.481
ran off or they flipped your wheelchair over or whatever or knocked out your

00:22:20.481 –> 00:22:25.681
friend that was helping you get to and from where you were coming from you know

00:22:25.681 –> 00:22:31.921
that’s not such a good thing compliance may make you may give you some time may buy you some time,

00:22:32.181 –> 00:22:35.921
and there’s a good chance you might go home. Absolutely.

00:22:36.541 –> 00:22:40.301
You know, I think about compliance, and there’s a lot of times that,

00:22:40.321 –> 00:22:41.881
you know, I think compliance.

00:22:42.568 –> 00:22:48.448
I’m in a situation, as you know, I take care of my parents, as you mentioned, caretaker. Yeah.

00:22:48.948 –> 00:22:52.328
And I’ve been in some situations where, you know, again, right,

00:22:52.688 –> 00:22:58.388
senses are going off and I’m not comfortable of the situation.

00:22:58.828 –> 00:23:04.668
And my thought process is going quickly. Like, okay, I have my mother with me

00:23:04.668 –> 00:23:07.068
who’s extremely disabled in a wheelchair.

00:23:07.348 –> 00:23:11.248
Sure. If something was to happen, do I stand in front or do I be compliant,

00:23:11.528 –> 00:23:15.168
right? And just appease and let them go about their way because now it’s just not me.

00:23:15.528 –> 00:23:22.468
It’s also my mother I have to worry about. Yeah. And then am I in a position

00:23:22.468 –> 00:23:27.708
to be defined or, you know, go on the offensive, let’s say?

00:23:28.328 –> 00:23:32.028
Not always, you know. So there’s a lot of times when I think,

00:23:32.108 –> 00:23:34.928
okay, if something happens now, you just have to be compliant.

00:23:35.048 –> 00:23:40.608
Just get through the situation, right? Even if you have the opportunity to draw,

00:23:40.848 –> 00:23:45.468
it’s a deadly situation, and drawing my weapon would be justified.

00:23:46.268 –> 00:23:52.428
Even if I had the opportunity to do it, is that the best course of action in the current situation?

00:23:53.328 –> 00:23:58.788
Given that I have someone else with me. And that happens a lot. That happens a lot.

00:24:00.628 –> 00:24:06.168
Or I had to throw fists. Again, is that the right thing to do?

00:24:06.168 –> 00:24:09.068
Is it just better to just give them what they want and hopefully they’ll go

00:24:09.068 –> 00:24:10.968
away? Let them get out of there. Yeah. Yeah.

00:24:11.668 –> 00:24:15.368
Yeah. Yeah. And you bring up a couple of good points again, right?

00:24:15.528 –> 00:24:21.428
Like if you happen to be someone that’s lawfully caring, concealed and things

00:24:21.428 –> 00:24:26.088
get to that point, there’s a lot of those things we’ve already talked about,

00:24:26.308 –> 00:24:27.848
like situational awareness,

00:24:28.368 –> 00:24:31.888
avoidance, de-escalation that have gone wrong. Yeah.

00:24:32.395 –> 00:24:39.635
And, you know, maybe even the empty hand options have gone out the window.

00:24:39.855 –> 00:24:47.015
So getting to the point where you’re using a gun is rare, but if it ever does

00:24:47.015 –> 00:24:52.175
get to that point, a lot of things, and dare I say, a lot of missteps have happened

00:24:52.175 –> 00:24:53.415
to get you to that point. Right.

00:24:53.755 –> 00:24:58.595
And the other point that you make great, too, is that, you know,

00:24:58.755 –> 00:25:03.115
like yourself with your knee replacement recently and then dealing with your

00:25:03.115 –> 00:25:06.175
handicapped mom, who’s generally always in a wheelchair,

00:25:06.515 –> 00:25:11.255
are you really in a position of responding any other way than compliance?

00:25:11.255 –> 00:25:15.235
Like, again, hopefully your situational awareness and paying attention to your

00:25:15.235 –> 00:25:18.155
surroundings and know where you’re going or having to go and,

00:25:18.175 –> 00:25:22.595
you know, avoiding the things that look bad or feel bad, you know,

00:25:22.715 –> 00:25:24.895
listening to your intuition is part of this, too.

00:25:25.995 –> 00:25:30.195
Like, if it gets to the point where you find yourself in a bad situation,

00:25:30.195 –> 00:25:35.055
do you really have any options other than compliance? You’ve missed the opportunity

00:25:35.055 –> 00:25:37.655
to avoid. So what’s left?

00:25:38.395 –> 00:25:44.715
So compliance is, compliance, again, a lot of people don’t want to hear that, don’t like to hear that.

00:25:45.455 –> 00:25:50.555
But I hate to tell you, not everybody’s a Billy Bob badass, and certainly not when they’re disabled.

00:25:50.775 –> 00:25:55.795
So compliance has its place, especially if you find yourself in a situation

00:25:55.795 –> 00:25:58.395
like you and your mom’s perfect example.

00:25:58.795 –> 00:26:02.975
Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, there’s a lot of times when I’m out with her, you know, or my father.

00:26:03.615 –> 00:26:11.215
You know, where I can’t, I have to comply. That’s the safest thing for everyone involved. Yeah.

00:26:12.335 –> 00:26:15.215
Well, we’ve talked about some good stuff today, too.

00:26:15.335 –> 00:26:20.255
And I think, you know, some other important parts, too, is the mindset piece, right?

00:26:20.375 –> 00:26:23.475
Like, if you’re going to find yourself in a situation, you know,

00:26:23.515 –> 00:26:27.715
it’s okay to tell yourself time and time again, I’m not going to be a victim, right?

00:26:27.715 –> 00:26:32.755
Because anything you can do to strengthen your mindset and have a can-do,

00:26:32.755 –> 00:26:35.375
get-home-safe attitude, the better.

00:26:35.855 –> 00:26:39.775
And whether you’re disabled or not, thinking through scenarios and figuring

00:26:39.775 –> 00:26:45.375
out what you would do in these conditions, these situations, is never bad.

00:26:45.375 –> 00:26:50.115
Because somebody that’s thought through them ahead of time once or more is better

00:26:50.115 –> 00:26:52.215
off than the person that’s never given any thought.

00:26:52.215 –> 00:26:57.615
So whether you’re the disabled person or the caregiver of someone that’s disabled,

00:26:57.915 –> 00:27:00.495
you need to be thinking about these sorts of things.

00:27:00.775 –> 00:27:05.095
It’s incumbent on you, and you’re responsible for being situationally aware.

00:27:05.255 –> 00:27:07.035
You’re responsible for avoiding.

00:27:07.395 –> 00:27:12.235
You’re responsible for thinking through scenarios and maybe even talking to

00:27:12.235 –> 00:27:15.215
the person that you’re taking care of about scenarios.

00:27:15.215 –> 00:27:19.575
And, hey, this is a teamwork type of thing. If I give you this safe word,

00:27:19.755 –> 00:27:23.355
this is what I want you to do. Or if I give you the safe word,

00:27:23.455 –> 00:27:27.335
this is what’s going on, don’t ask any questions, just roll with the punches, right?

00:27:27.515 –> 00:27:32.215
Like having that teamwork and that communication and having a game plan ahead

00:27:32.215 –> 00:27:36.775
of time still applies for you and someone you’re taking care of, right?

00:27:36.975 –> 00:27:41.355
Or the person that you’ve asked to take care of you, like that should be part

00:27:41.355 –> 00:27:46.795
of your expectations of them, right? It’s a two-way street, but that mindset

00:27:46.795 –> 00:27:48.935
is key. The communication is key.

00:27:49.215 –> 00:27:54.635
Having a game plan ahead of time and just knowing that there’s not any magic

00:27:54.635 –> 00:27:59.215
bullet and there’s not any one thing or even a handful of things that are just

00:27:59.215 –> 00:28:00.935
going to work for you, right?

00:28:01.075 –> 00:28:05.995
Especially if you have physical and or mental limitations.

00:28:06.875 –> 00:28:11.235
And you having the mental limitations you have, you know that better than anybody.

00:28:12.135 –> 00:28:18.135
I was going to say you’re joking but you know I’ve seen or read where acting

00:28:18.135 –> 00:28:24.475
crazy sometimes helps too you know like you said making sounds and loud audible sounds and you know.

00:28:25.755 –> 00:28:27.175
Starting to act crazy,

00:28:27.877 –> 00:28:33.237
Because generally, you know, someone that’s going to approach you and try to

00:28:33.237 –> 00:28:36.257
steal from you is looking for an opportunity. Absolutely.

00:28:37.057 –> 00:28:40.457
Right. So they’re going to go the path of least resistance. Right.

00:28:40.577 –> 00:28:43.977
They’re looking for someone that’s just going to say, OK, take what you want. Go away. Yep.

00:28:44.237 –> 00:28:48.357
You start slapping, doing the three stooges thing and slapping your head and cursing all crazy.

00:28:48.817 –> 00:28:51.017
You know, they may not want to be bonded with you.

00:28:51.817 –> 00:28:55.357
Yeah. I mean, you’re absolutely right. There’s the predators that are looking

00:28:55.357 –> 00:29:00.077
for opportunity and victims that aren’t paying attention to their surroundings, right?

00:29:00.197 –> 00:29:07.077
And so anything that you can do because, you know, the bad guys don’t want attention

00:29:07.077 –> 00:29:09.637
drawn to themselves and they don’t want to be caught.

00:29:09.917 –> 00:29:14.517
And so anything that you can do to thwart those things from happening,

00:29:14.717 –> 00:29:18.477
you know, or cause those things are happening, make them cause for concern.

00:29:18.477 –> 00:29:23.717
Hey, is attention being drawn over here? Do I run the risk of being caught?

00:29:24.617 –> 00:29:31.937
You know, again, another great point. Anything you can do to draw attention to the bad situation.

00:29:31.937 –> 00:29:36.977
Again, that goes back to if you had no other ability aside from your voice,

00:29:37.117 –> 00:29:42.457
your voice can be a powerful tool in helping get yourself out of a bad situation. So, yeah.

00:29:43.297 –> 00:29:47.777
Great points. So, I know you’re going to heal up and be back to norm,

00:29:47.797 –> 00:29:52.037
you know, and I know you’ve been through the knee replacement thing twice now.

00:29:52.057 –> 00:29:56.697
Now, you know, after this last time kind of being more conscientiously aware

00:29:56.697 –> 00:29:57.857
of your vulnerabilities,

00:29:57.857 –> 00:30:02.857
do you think this is going to have any influence on how you carry yourself in

00:30:02.857 –> 00:30:07.557
the parking lots or the parking decks or in a questionable part of town?

00:30:07.797 –> 00:30:12.217
Like, has this made you really think about things or is this just like,

00:30:12.357 –> 00:30:15.757
oh, shit, I’m in this situation. What do I do now?

00:30:16.577 –> 00:30:24.537
Well, you know, I’m never too far. I’m always aware. Always. Right. It’s just, I…

00:30:25.095 –> 00:30:30.075
It’s hard to stay at a state of yellow, which they say we all should be at all

00:30:30.075 –> 00:30:31.755
times. When you leave the house, yeah.

00:30:32.415 –> 00:30:37.035
Right, when you leave the house. It’s hard to be at that state all the time.

00:30:37.135 –> 00:30:39.455
Sure. Okay? We all let our guards down.

00:30:41.275 –> 00:30:45.495
So, you know, do I stay at that state all the time? No, right?

00:30:45.615 –> 00:30:49.975
But I can tell you that more times, more often than not, I am.

00:30:50.375 –> 00:30:54.815
I’m always aware of my surroundings. And if I’m not, my wife is with me.

00:30:55.095 –> 00:30:58.715
And there’s been times where I’ve let my guard down. And she’s even said,

00:30:58.915 –> 00:31:00.495
you’ve let your guard down.

00:31:00.575 –> 00:31:03.255
I say, why? She goes, you didn’t even notice what was going over there.

00:31:03.335 –> 00:31:07.355
And it wasn’t a threat, but it was still something I should have noticed.

00:31:07.755 –> 00:31:11.575
Yeah, you should have noticed. Like the fluorescent orange shirt,

00:31:11.595 –> 00:31:16.655
whatever, doing something, dancing in the parking lot. It didn’t even register. Right, exactly.

00:31:17.735 –> 00:31:24.835
So, you know, in saying that, being, you know, with the new knee surgery,

00:31:25.215 –> 00:31:29.695
it probably, the only thing I say would change is I would be more conscious

00:31:29.695 –> 00:31:37.715
of staying in that state, right, more often than not, and probably wouldn’t let my guard down.

00:31:37.715 –> 00:31:41.015
I probably wouldn’t let my guard down as often

00:31:41.015 –> 00:31:44.095
as I do you know when I leave the house right I would definitely be

00:31:44.095 –> 00:31:46.915
out looking around being more conscious you know

00:31:46.915 –> 00:31:49.715
being being conscious of my actions how am I getting in

00:31:49.715 –> 00:31:52.355
the car what’s going on around me right what is

00:31:52.355 –> 00:31:55.255
what’s going on when I get out the car you know sometimes you

00:31:55.255 –> 00:31:58.075
know where I live it’s it’s dark if I

00:31:58.075 –> 00:32:00.855
don’t turn off turn on the floodlights around the

00:32:00.855 –> 00:32:03.755
house and there’s been times I’ve thrown

00:32:03.755 –> 00:32:06.475
down and once you turn off the headlights of the car you can’t see

00:32:06.475 –> 00:32:09.215
anything i mean you really barely can see the

00:32:09.215 –> 00:32:13.055
hands in front of your face yeah i think about that too you know you know you

00:32:13.055 –> 00:32:16.935
know i’m getting out and you know i’m limping to the to the front door someone’s

00:32:16.935 –> 00:32:21.415
already noticed that you know i have a little limp to myself have my keys out

00:32:21.415 –> 00:32:25.735
you know even what i’ve learned now is if i come home and i didn’t turn on the

00:32:25.735 –> 00:32:28.915
lights right i’ll uh i’ll uh.

00:32:29.723 –> 00:32:33.623
Be conscious, leave the car running, open the door, right?

00:32:33.883 –> 00:32:37.463
Turn on the lights and I might come back and get the keys or turn on,

00:32:37.703 –> 00:32:40.743
turn, take the keys out, close the door and then press the button.

00:32:41.183 –> 00:32:46.403
So the headlights do come on. So at least I have some sort of illumination while I get in the house.

00:32:46.703 –> 00:32:49.363
Right. Yeah. And you know, just things like that, just, you know,

00:32:49.523 –> 00:32:53.763
small little things that I probably during this time, just be a little bit more

00:32:53.763 –> 00:32:55.483
conscious of extra care.

00:32:56.003 –> 00:33:00.123
Yeah. Extra care. That’s exactly right. Yeah. Yeah, and I think whether people

00:33:00.123 –> 00:33:02.343
want to acknowledge it or hear it or not,

00:33:02.623 –> 00:33:08.303
I think when you’re in a weakened state, when you’re vulnerable via a disability

00:33:08.303 –> 00:33:11.223
or whatever that’s causing your vulnerability,

00:33:11.223 –> 00:33:18.503
I think that the answer really above everything else is hypervigilance.

00:33:18.723 –> 00:33:23.403
Perhaps even, you know, being more than what you would normally be if you are

00:33:23.403 –> 00:33:29.183
at all. But when you’re in a weakened state, you could be, you know,

00:33:29.443 –> 00:33:32.023
picked out as a victim, right?

00:33:32.363 –> 00:33:38.623
And so it’s really important that you are hyper aware and hyper vigilant about

00:33:38.623 –> 00:33:41.203
all the things we’ve talked about, certainly.

00:33:42.003 –> 00:33:47.063
Well, I think this has been good. Hopefully those listening get something from this.

00:33:48.143 –> 00:33:54.743
And look, this needs to be as much for the caregivers as it is for the individuals

00:33:54.743 –> 00:33:57.343
that are suffering the handicap or the disability.

00:33:58.223 –> 00:34:03.743
There’s a lot of responsibility in caregiving, and this just adds to that list, unfortunately.

00:34:03.783 –> 00:34:08.423
But it’s the right thing to do, and it’s necessary.

00:34:09.103 –> 00:34:14.063
But with that being said, I want to thank you yet again for doing another podcast with us.

00:34:14.063 –> 00:34:19.323
This has been good and I know you’re healing up and will continue to do so so

00:34:19.323 –> 00:34:24.743
I appreciate your time and thanks again you’re welcome, always a pleasure to be here.

00:34:24.880 –> 00:34:44.682
Music.