1
00:00:00,000 –> 00:00:11,440
Music.

2
00:00:11,381 –> 00:00:15,541
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Self-Initiative Project Podcast.

3
00:00:16,061 –> 00:00:22,321
I’m your host, Jim O’Brien. This episode, we’ll be talking to Kathy Loomis of Cyber Savvy.

4
00:00:22,621 –> 00:00:26,981
Cyber Savvy’s mission is to provide parents with the tools and resources necessary

5
00:00:26,981 –> 00:00:31,161
to effectively and safely guide their children through the digital landscape.

6
00:00:31,561 –> 00:00:35,521
This is part one of two. Hi, Kathy. How are you?

7
00:00:36,061 –> 00:00:40,101
I’m great. Thank you for having me today. So we’ve got some exciting material

8
00:00:40,101 –> 00:00:42,781
to cover and let’s get started. I’m excited.

9
00:00:43,501 –> 00:00:48,121
Okay. Let’s talk a little bit about you and how you got this thing fired up.

10
00:00:48,241 –> 00:00:51,481
I have been in the technology arena since 2000.

11
00:00:52,061 –> 00:00:56,201
When I first started, I co-founded a company called Synergy Network Solutions,

12
00:00:56,461 –> 00:00:59,821
which is a company that specializes in recruiting technology professionals,

13
00:01:00,041 –> 00:01:04,181
specifically in the area of development, engineering and cybersecurity specialists.

14
00:01:04,181 –> 00:01:07,041
Socialists and a big portion of my job was always

15
00:01:07,041 –> 00:01:10,121
to stay ahead of the changes in technology over the

16
00:01:10,121 –> 00:01:13,421
years so which is no

17
00:01:13,421 –> 00:01:18,381
easy task because you know just believe it or not over 10 years ago just over

18
00:01:18,381 –> 00:01:25,961
10 years ago the first iphone was released and today it is the rare american

19
00:01:25,961 –> 00:01:31,701
that does not have one and they’re mostly under the age of 10 so roughly about three quarters of

20
00:01:31,761 –> 00:01:38,641
Americans own a smartphone today with the average child owning one by the age of 10. So.

21
00:01:39,676 –> 00:01:43,456
And we’re going to continue to see that grow. Absolutely.

22
00:01:44,356 –> 00:01:50,136
And so being in technology, I thought as a parent, when my child was ready to

23
00:01:50,136 –> 00:01:57,076
enter the digital world, I thought I was completely ready until I wasn’t.

24
00:01:57,736 –> 00:02:04,696
I learned that I wasn’t. I handed her an iPad and she discovered a lot of things on it.

25
00:02:04,776 –> 00:02:11,136
She played a lot on it. And then YouTube came over and she, I think she typed

26
00:02:11,136 –> 00:02:15,316
in mermaid because she went through a whole mermaid fetish for a while.

27
00:02:15,876 –> 00:02:24,016
And we started out with a really benign video that quickly moved over to a very inappropriate video.

28
00:02:24,296 –> 00:02:28,716
So at that point, I started doing some research and, you know,

29
00:02:28,716 –> 00:02:30,856
just to kind of help prepare myself.

30
00:02:30,916 –> 00:02:35,876
And I just realized there was nothing for parents. There was a whole lot of information.

31
00:02:36,316 –> 00:02:40,776
It was almost kind of drinking from a fire hose, though. You didn’t know what

32
00:02:40,776 –> 00:02:43,556
to believe, what was what was workable, what was usable.

33
00:02:43,936 –> 00:02:50,076
So at that point, I decided to found my new venture, Cyber Savvy.

34
00:02:50,516 –> 00:02:55,916
And my mission is to provide parents and students with the tools and resources

35
00:02:55,916 –> 00:03:01,836
necessary to effectively and safely guide their children through the digital

36
00:03:01,836 –> 00:03:04,096
landscape. So that’s my mission.

37
00:03:04,376 –> 00:03:10,676
Sounds great. Yeah, I think with the popularity and the increasing growth and

38
00:03:10,676 –> 00:03:15,696
usage of smartphones or phones in general, mobile devices, whether it’s phones or tablets,

39
00:03:15,936 –> 00:03:21,636
really keeping on top of and keeping tabs of what your children are doing and

40
00:03:21,636 –> 00:03:24,436
looking on those devices is paramount.

41
00:03:25,344 –> 00:03:30,524
Right. Well, we, our kids, believe it or not, are clocking in about four to

42
00:03:30,524 –> 00:03:33,124
nine hours of screen time every single day.

43
00:03:33,184 –> 00:03:37,984
It’s not just on their mobile devices, but it’s all screen time.

44
00:03:39,344 –> 00:03:43,944
Nine hours? Up to nine hours. That’s more time than they spend.

45
00:03:44,724 –> 00:03:48,044
They spend more time in front of a screen than they do sleeping.

46
00:03:48,044 –> 00:03:52,824
I remember watching a lot of television as a child, but I don’t know that I

47
00:03:52,824 –> 00:03:55,624
ever spent nine hours in front of the TV back then.

48
00:03:56,144 –> 00:04:00,164
Right. Well, they’re literally never without it.

49
00:04:00,204 –> 00:04:05,124
For those kids who have a mobile device or a phone that they carry with them,

50
00:04:05,204 –> 00:04:06,464
they are never without them.

51
00:04:06,564 –> 00:04:11,324
And when they’re without them, you can see that they become very anxious.

52
00:04:11,324 –> 00:04:14,324
Us so my child happens

53
00:04:14,324 –> 00:04:17,664
to be part of the iGen generation and

54
00:04:17,664 –> 00:04:21,004
she just doesn’t know life without her digital device yeah

55
00:04:21,004 –> 00:04:27,444
but most of the you know scary they’re spending that much time on their devices

56
00:04:27,444 –> 00:04:35,084
and it’s it’s really I call it a parentless society because it’s all peer-to-peer

57
00:04:35,084 –> 00:04:40,584
parents aren’t really engaged enough in their online worlds.

58
00:04:41,044 –> 00:04:46,104
So a lot of, it’s like the wild, wild West really. I mean, they are doing things

59
00:04:46,104 –> 00:04:50,944
to each other, you know, cyber bullying, doing things that just aren’t nice.

60
00:04:51,044 –> 00:04:54,884
They have that keyboard courage. They’re doing everything behind the digital screen.

61
00:04:55,744 –> 00:04:58,804
So they, they do things that they wouldn’t normally do.

62
00:04:59,064 –> 00:05:02,744
Makes it a lot easier to each other. Yeah. Yeah. They can hide that keyboard.

63
00:05:02,984 –> 00:05:08,364
Like you said, I know. Yeah. So, you know, I’m just kind of helping guide parents

64
00:05:08,364 –> 00:05:15,904
to get more engaged so that they can create some more teachable opportunities for their kids. Sure.

65
00:05:16,184 –> 00:05:21,224
And I know that Cyber Savvy has some classes that they offer and even some services.

66
00:05:21,404 –> 00:05:23,864
So you want to talk about those? Sure.

67
00:05:24,184 –> 00:05:30,644
I do a lot of presentations at schools and organizations from student presentations

68
00:05:30,644 –> 00:05:34,604
just to teach students how to be a good digital citizen.

69
00:05:34,924 –> 00:05:39,464
And we talk about cyberbullying, what that means, and not in the traditional

70
00:05:39,464 –> 00:05:44,064
sense where all the media talks about, oh, if you’re sending these terrible

71
00:05:44,064 –> 00:05:47,424
texts, this is what cyberbullying looks like.

72
00:05:47,524 –> 00:05:51,904
But it’s different. I think that kids today cyberbully books.

73
00:05:52,468 –> 00:05:57,528
A lot in the way of exclusion. So they’ll post things to their Instagram accounts

74
00:05:57,528 –> 00:06:04,528
or their Snapchat stories that will include everybody in a group that traditionally

75
00:06:04,528 –> 00:06:06,408
is together with the exception of one person.

76
00:06:06,468 –> 00:06:12,348
And then they just pummel that person with a bunch of photos and videos and

77
00:06:12,348 –> 00:06:17,508
stories that really are designed to make kids feel excluded.

78
00:06:17,768 –> 00:06:22,748
And that’s a big, you know, that’s kind of a paradigm shift a little bit from

79
00:06:22,748 –> 00:06:27,408
what we traditionally think as parents is what cyber bullying it is it’s not

80
00:06:27,408 –> 00:06:32,828
so overt it’s just kind of these little subtle things that they do to make.

81
00:06:33,548 –> 00:06:37,488
Other kids feel excluded it’s crazy to think that something like bullying has

82
00:06:37,488 –> 00:06:41,908
evolved from the days of you know me getting beat up in the bathroom the boys

83
00:06:41,908 –> 00:06:46,968
room and in middle school you know now Now it takes on different forms that

84
00:06:46,968 –> 00:06:52,128
make it not just hard to deal with, but also to respond to as well.

85
00:06:52,508 –> 00:06:57,228
Right. And parents, I think that parents don’t realize how much it’s changed.

86
00:06:57,408 –> 00:07:00,868
So if they’re not engaged, they don’t really see it.

87
00:07:01,288 –> 00:07:05,728
So they don’t realize that there is a teachable moment.

88
00:07:06,268 –> 00:07:09,828
Absolutely. So before we get into the classes, because I’m intrigued by a couple

89
00:07:09,828 –> 00:07:13,908
of those and the services too, just to kind of run down some of the statistics

90
00:07:13,908 –> 00:07:16,848
that you have on the cybersavvy.com site.

91
00:07:17,328 –> 00:07:21,968
80% of parents never talk to their kids about appropriate internet use,

92
00:07:22,088 –> 00:07:25,608
not because they don’t care, but because parents just don’t know how.

93
00:07:25,828 –> 00:07:27,848
So what do we do about that?

94
00:07:28,748 –> 00:07:34,288
Well, education. So that’s the biggest piece of it.

95
00:07:34,468 –> 00:07:40,108
I think that parents traditionally, especially if they didn’t grow up with a

96
00:07:40,108 –> 00:07:42,508
cell phone. And that’s really my generation.

97
00:07:42,948 –> 00:07:50,868
So it’s educating them what the devices can do, what their kids will have access

98
00:07:50,868 –> 00:07:54,508
to, and how to become more involved.

99
00:07:54,848 –> 00:08:00,568
And I think the main thing for parents is, you know, they just think,

100
00:08:00,728 –> 00:08:05,508
gosh, my kid knows more about this than I do. So what am I going to bring to the the table.

101
00:08:05,668 –> 00:08:09,508
So I’m just going to let them, I’m just going to stick my head in the sand and hope for the best.

102
00:08:09,808 –> 00:08:16,848
So what my classes are designed to do is to, to really shed some light on what do their devices do?

103
00:08:17,388 –> 00:08:19,668
How can you become more engaged?

104
00:08:20,248 –> 00:08:26,408
And, and just let them know that, yeah, their kids know a lot and they can adapt

105
00:08:26,408 –> 00:08:30,528
more to the new technology than we can because we’re not playing on it every

106
00:08:30,528 –> 00:08:33,948
single day and we don’t spend as adults do but they spend.

107
00:08:34,914 –> 00:08:38,594
Their time in front of the screen in a different way. But, you know,

108
00:08:38,594 –> 00:08:40,774
just to educate them on that and just say,

109
00:08:40,974 –> 00:08:46,494
you know, it’s not so much staying abreast of the ever-changing technology because

110
00:08:46,494 –> 00:08:48,134
that’s going to be too hard to do,

111
00:08:48,234 –> 00:08:53,874
but to open lines of communication with your kids in a very traditional parenting

112
00:08:53,874 –> 00:08:58,394
way so that kids will eventually feel comfortable,

113
00:08:59,054 –> 00:09:02,254
having those bi-directional conversations with their parents.

114
00:09:02,794 –> 00:09:07,074
Absolutely. Makes a lot of sense. And, you know, it’s okay if the parents aren’t

115
00:09:07,074 –> 00:09:12,354
technologically savvy, but it’s important that the parents also still let their

116
00:09:12,354 –> 00:09:15,914
kids know that they’re the ones in charge because they are the parents at the end of the day, right?

117
00:09:16,434 –> 00:09:20,574
Exactly. So one of the few of these other statistics to breeze through real

118
00:09:20,574 –> 00:09:26,534
quick, one in five U.S. teenagers who are active on the Internet have received

119
00:09:26,534 –> 00:09:31,114
unwanted sexual solicitation online. That’s 20%. Isn’t that scary?

120
00:09:31,334 –> 00:09:33,654
That’s scary. It’s a very scary statistic.

121
00:09:34,454 –> 00:09:42,474
So, almost every popular social media site is being used to recruit sex trafficking

122
00:09:42,474 –> 00:09:45,334
victims, according to the FBI.

123
00:09:46,114 –> 00:09:57,534
So, I know it’s very scary, but for the sex trafficker, it’s a very easy way to target kids.

124
00:09:58,514 –> 00:10:03,634
One in five kids the age of 10 to 17, like you said, have been solicited for sex online.

125
00:10:04,054 –> 00:10:10,594
But one in 33 has been aggressively solicited where the predator is attempting

126
00:10:10,594 –> 00:10:13,034
to set up a meeting with a child in person.

127
00:10:13,994 –> 00:10:20,554
And that’s scary. And I think that parents in general don’t know how prevalent it is.

128
00:10:21,114 –> 00:10:27,454
Atlanta especially is sadly a sex trafficking hub. It is.

129
00:10:28,294 –> 00:10:32,374
So it’s, you know, our kids, if they, you know, if they even go to the mall

130
00:10:32,374 –> 00:10:34,654
unaccompanied, they’re being bullied.

131
00:10:35,536 –> 00:10:40,416
Targeted. So I was talking to a parent the other day, and she said her child

132
00:10:40,416 –> 00:10:43,996
just incessantly was asking to go to the mall with a group of her friends,

133
00:10:44,056 –> 00:10:46,336
and they just wanted to be able to walk around by themselves.

134
00:10:46,916 –> 00:10:51,736
So my friend said, well, I’m not going to let you walk around by yourself,

135
00:10:51,956 –> 00:10:59,216
but I’ll go with you, and I’ll be in the mall in the same location as you,

136
00:10:59,276 –> 00:11:01,816
so you’ll know where to find me and I’ll be close.

137
00:11:02,056 –> 00:11:08,376
And literally, she said, within a 20-minute period, they had broken away.

138
00:11:08,736 –> 00:11:11,756
Her friends, their friends went to like this popular kid’s stores.

139
00:11:12,196 –> 00:11:16,736
And within 20 minutes, they were approached by a man and a woman, a young woman.

140
00:11:17,296 –> 00:11:22,376
And they said, oh my gosh, you girls are so pretty. We are looking for young

141
00:11:22,376 –> 00:11:23,876
models. Would you be interested?

142
00:11:24,596 –> 00:11:30,036
Come with us and sign this paperwork and we’ll, you know, figure out a time to take pictures.

143
00:11:30,276 –> 00:11:35,316
But that’s when they get them. And some gullible kids who parents don’t talk

144
00:11:35,316 –> 00:11:39,716
to their kids about stuff like this because it’s too scary or they think it’s

145
00:11:39,716 –> 00:11:42,136
not happening. Sure. They become victims.

146
00:11:42,596 –> 00:11:50,076
Fortunately, my friend, it was a former model, but she said she told her daughter, expect this.

147
00:11:50,436 –> 00:11:55,496
Know that that somebody might come up and use this line on you and just know

148
00:11:55,496 –> 00:12:00,976
that it’s not true. So fortunately, she had that discussion with her child.

149
00:12:01,116 –> 00:12:07,036
And so they immediately went into the store. They told the store manager and those people left.

150
00:12:08,036 –> 00:12:14,456
But that’s scary. But that’s the key in the parent taking the initiative to

151
00:12:14,456 –> 00:12:19,916
drive these conversations, to talk about cell phone safety, to talk about cyber predators.

152
00:12:21,016 –> 00:12:26,316
And yes, they’re scary topics, but our children need to know if we’re not having

153
00:12:26,316 –> 00:12:29,276
these conversations with them, then they’re basically dead.

154
00:12:30,522 –> 00:12:35,282
You know, staring in the dark. Yeah. And, you know, it hasn’t changed over time, right?

155
00:12:35,362 –> 00:12:38,742
When we were kids growing up, whatever, the importance of parents talking to

156
00:12:38,742 –> 00:12:41,902
the children, having those hard conversations is so important.

157
00:12:42,362 –> 00:12:47,062
It’s just that the conversations now are having to evolve and include technologies

158
00:12:47,062 –> 00:12:51,622
and incidents that we didn’t necessarily have to deal with, but it doesn’t change

159
00:12:51,622 –> 00:12:53,582
the fact that the conversations are important.

160
00:12:54,122 –> 00:12:59,802
Right. Says 36% of children message People they have met online,

161
00:13:00,062 –> 00:13:01,622
but don’t know in person.

162
00:13:01,962 –> 00:13:06,162
That’s, you know, that’s a testament to why it’s so important to monitor these,

163
00:13:06,242 –> 00:13:10,262
the usage of these devices with your children, because young kids don’t really

164
00:13:10,262 –> 00:13:16,162
have the cognitive development yet to understand what it means or could imply

165
00:13:16,162 –> 00:13:19,782
or the consequences is to talk to strangers.

166
00:13:19,962 –> 00:13:23,662
I mean, when I was growing up, you know, don’t talk to strangers was a promoted

167
00:13:23,662 –> 00:13:26,502
policy for kids, right? Right. Right.

168
00:13:26,862 –> 00:13:36,082
Right. So, OK, so our our kids, the main thing that’s important to them today is becoming famous.

169
00:13:36,282 –> 00:13:39,542
They all want to become the next famous YouTuber.

170
00:13:39,862 –> 00:13:41,282
They want to, you know.

171
00:13:41,682 –> 00:13:47,102
So the more likes they can get, the more people who see their things makes them

172
00:13:47,102 –> 00:13:49,602
feel more popular, more liked, more.

173
00:13:50,022 –> 00:13:55,142
They can hopefully start getting some advertising dollars from their YouTube channel.

174
00:13:55,442 –> 00:13:58,682
So they friend essentially anyone.

175
00:13:59,122 –> 00:14:05,422
So I don’t know if you recall a couple of actually it was last year there was

176
00:14:05,422 –> 00:14:14,202
a guy who was targeting local schools in Atlanta and mostly Instagram accounts.

177
00:14:14,202 –> 00:14:22,182
So he would friend all of these kids and then start sending inappropriate emails

178
00:14:22,182 –> 00:14:25,762
and photos and texts to these kids.

179
00:14:25,762 –> 00:14:30,122
You know, you’d think some of these guys using these methods would realize,

180
00:14:30,462 –> 00:14:34,542
hey, everything I’m doing is going to be recorded or traceable.

181
00:14:34,682 –> 00:14:40,602
And you’d think it would thwart more than, you know, cause it.

182
00:14:40,662 –> 00:14:45,022
But I don’t think, you know, it’s been said many a time, criminals and those

183
00:14:45,022 –> 00:14:49,382
with ill intent aren’t necessarily the smartest folks in the world either.

184
00:14:49,422 –> 00:14:52,582
So that’s always kind of interesting to me. Right.

185
00:14:52,762 –> 00:14:56,462
But, you know, these cyber predators, believe it or not, are getting more savvy

186
00:14:56,462 –> 00:14:58,202
than we give them credit for.

187
00:14:58,582 –> 00:15:02,082
On the dark web, they are all sharing information.

188
00:15:02,562 –> 00:15:08,042
They share information on what works for them when they’re grooming a child,

189
00:15:08,202 –> 00:15:10,742
you know, as a victim. them.

190
00:15:11,262 –> 00:15:16,262
These are the things that work. These are the points that I used that made the

191
00:15:16,262 –> 00:15:20,722
person either send me a new photo or send me more information or,

192
00:15:20,802 –> 00:15:23,722
you know, agree, had them agree to meet me.

193
00:15:23,962 –> 00:15:26,602
And most kids, believe it or not, when I.

194
00:15:27,641 –> 00:15:35,581
When they agree to meet with a sexual predator, it’s because they’ve been through

195
00:15:35,581 –> 00:15:39,901
a grooming, a long grooming process where this person befriends them,

196
00:15:40,121 –> 00:15:44,821
even to the point where our kids think that they know this person.

197
00:15:45,301 –> 00:15:51,181
And as parents, we have to remind them that it’s probably ugly Charlie on the other end.

198
00:15:51,321 –> 00:15:54,641
It’s not, you know, cute Jason. It’s not what you think. Ugly Charlie.

199
00:15:55,081 –> 00:15:58,521
And that’s a good point. Mike, that brings me to the last statistic here.

200
00:15:58,561 –> 00:16:03,481
It says in 100% of the cases where a teen has fallen victim to a sexual predator,

201
00:16:03,721 –> 00:16:08,801
the team has unknowingly but willingly met the sexual predator.

202
00:16:09,541 –> 00:16:13,161
Right. That’s really scary. And that’s part of the grooming process.

203
00:16:13,541 –> 00:16:18,561
Like I said, these predators are so much more savvy than we give them credit for.

204
00:16:19,061 –> 00:16:24,781
They will work as long as it takes. If once they target somebody and they really

205
00:16:24,781 –> 00:16:30,241
want to get this person, they’ll just keep at it and they they’re pretty aggressive in it.

206
00:16:31,081 –> 00:16:37,841
And they have they have a way of convincing our kids that they’re their friend

207
00:16:37,841 –> 00:16:43,961
and they’ll start things like, you know, saying your parents are terrible because

208
00:16:43,961 –> 00:16:45,641
they’ll start out in a way like,

209
00:16:45,781 –> 00:16:50,221
oh, you know, I saw that you go to this certain school because kids will post

210
00:16:50,221 –> 00:16:56,221
pictures of them in their school attire and some kind of sports thing.

211
00:16:56,661 –> 00:17:00,581
So it has the name of their school. So they’ve they’ve targeted them that way.

212
00:17:01,081 –> 00:17:05,601
And then they find out who in that group is associated.

213
00:17:05,881 –> 00:17:08,781
And, you know, when they want to reach out to somebody, they’ll say,

214
00:17:08,861 –> 00:17:12,941
oh, I see that you’re friends with so-and-so. I’m also a friend of so-and-so.

215
00:17:13,801 –> 00:17:17,261
Let’s become friends together. And then that’s how it starts.

216
00:17:17,741 –> 00:17:23,721
So they do a lot of predators, do a lot of investigative work. A lot of research.

217
00:17:24,461 –> 00:17:28,101
Yeah, a lot of research. And it’s all available because kids love.

218
00:17:28,983 –> 00:17:36,203
They posted all posting information that they they probably to the level of detail they should not.

219
00:17:36,683 –> 00:17:41,363
Well, I think if if I recall right, even with programs like Snapchat,

220
00:17:41,583 –> 00:17:46,163
when you share a story out, you can share it with just your connections or you

221
00:17:46,163 –> 00:17:48,723
can share it out to everyone. Right.

222
00:17:49,543 –> 00:17:53,523
That’s kind of scary if you think about it, because now you’re just opening

223
00:17:53,523 –> 00:17:55,563
your door to yourself. Right.

224
00:17:55,803 –> 00:18:01,043
Right. And what kids fail to understand is what I one of the things that I talk

225
00:18:01,043 –> 00:18:06,203
to them about when I do a student presentation is that when they download apps,

226
00:18:06,423 –> 00:18:09,283
a lot of these popular apps, they come.

227
00:18:09,943 –> 00:18:13,623
The default the default setting is that there is no privacy.

228
00:18:14,163 –> 00:18:18,683
All the information is going to be collected and you’re going to push out to

229
00:18:18,683 –> 00:18:23,903
everyone unless you specifically go in there and change those settings to be more private. it.

230
00:18:24,343 –> 00:18:30,743
So, you know, I literally walk kids through whatever popular app it is today.

231
00:18:30,803 –> 00:18:33,503
And most of it is either Snapchat or Instagram.

232
00:18:33,903 –> 00:18:37,963
And I’ll walk them through specifically how to turn on those privacy settings

233
00:18:37,963 –> 00:18:41,303
because it’s so important and you just need to lock it down a little bit.

234
00:18:41,323 –> 00:18:42,763
And it’s not a catch-all.

235
00:18:42,903 –> 00:18:48,943
I think that a lot of information still gets out because it’s designed to do that.

236
00:18:50,255 –> 00:18:54,075
And, you know, but kids aren’t aren’t really aware of it. And at this point,

237
00:18:54,095 –> 00:18:55,135
they they don’t really care.

238
00:18:55,875 –> 00:18:59,295
Yeah. And why would they? Right. Because it’s not going to happen to me.

239
00:18:59,375 –> 00:19:01,595
I’m not aware of such a thing going on.

240
00:19:01,715 –> 00:19:06,275
But, you know, Facebook social graph is powerful, even if they don’t necessarily

241
00:19:06,275 –> 00:19:09,515
know who you are specifically or directly.

242
00:19:09,515 –> 00:19:13,555
They still are collecting an awful lot of information, a lot of,

243
00:19:13,555 –> 00:19:19,295
you know, rich, potentially expensive data to have available for others to use.

244
00:19:19,415 –> 00:19:21,475
And you never know how that’s going to get used ultimately.

245
00:19:22,255 –> 00:19:28,155
Exactly. So there’s a saying in our industry that says, if the product is free,

246
00:19:28,375 –> 00:19:30,455
then you are the product.

247
00:19:32,435 –> 00:19:37,155
That’s a good point. Yeah. That’s a t-shirt in the making right there. Exactly.

248
00:19:37,835 –> 00:19:42,175
Apps collect and sell personal information to advertisers.

249
00:19:42,415 –> 00:19:46,855
And that’s the way that they make money. They make billions.

250
00:19:47,235 –> 00:19:52,915
Facebook has made billions and billions of dollars on our personal information.

251
00:19:53,215 –> 00:20:00,055
They collect it, they package it, they tout to the advertisers that you can

252
00:20:00,055 –> 00:20:02,215
target anything that you want.

253
00:20:02,335 –> 00:20:07,015
You just tell us what you want to target, it, we’ll collect the data and package it for you. Yeah.

254
00:20:07,295 –> 00:20:12,455
So with. And to be clear and in fairness, it’s not, I don’t believe that any

255
00:20:12,455 –> 00:20:16,795
of it, you know, maybe some Chinese apps that you install on your iPhone or

256
00:20:16,795 –> 00:20:18,555
whatever might have malicious intent.

257
00:20:18,675 –> 00:20:21,715
But in fairness, I don’t think any of it’s out of bad intent,

258
00:20:21,895 –> 00:20:24,215
you know, or malicious intent.

259
00:20:24,555 –> 00:20:28,975
It’s just about business and making the almighty dollar. And that data,

260
00:20:29,715 –> 00:20:34,275
the more I have, the more specific detailed data I have, the more I can charge

261
00:20:34,275 –> 00:20:37,175
for it and the more I can do with it. Right, right.

262
00:20:37,855 –> 00:20:41,595
So there are a couple of Facebook defectors. And I agree with you.

263
00:20:41,635 –> 00:20:45,215
I don’t think the developers are terrible people.

264
00:20:45,315 –> 00:20:49,795
I think that these are unintentional consequences that…

265
00:20:50,589 –> 00:20:58,149
That we’re facing now, I think they, their specific goal was to keep the user engaged.

266
00:20:58,809 –> 00:21:02,609
That was their mission. And I think that they’ve done that and they’ve done that effectively.

267
00:21:02,849 –> 00:21:09,189
So they’ve done their job. What we have failed to do as parents is to adequately

268
00:21:09,189 –> 00:21:15,489
discuss this with our kids, let them know that every app that you use,

269
00:21:15,629 –> 00:21:18,869
data is being collected on you, regardless of how old you are,

270
00:21:18,949 –> 00:21:23,929
even, you know, so most apps are not supposed to disseminate information of

271
00:21:23,929 –> 00:21:27,469
kids that are under the age of 13, but it happens anyway.

272
00:21:27,769 –> 00:21:31,709
They just build that dossier. Once they reach the age of 13,

273
00:21:31,829 –> 00:21:34,069
then they can sell that information to anybody.

274
00:21:34,809 –> 00:21:40,689
So, but the point is we’re, as parents, we’re not having these conversations with our kids.

275
00:21:41,629 –> 00:21:45,789
So So they freely give out information.

276
00:21:46,009 –> 00:21:55,069
So, for example, a new app that a kid will download will always ask to connect

277
00:21:55,069 –> 00:21:58,329
with your contacts and connect with location services.

278
00:21:58,689 –> 00:22:05,189
Immediately. Every app. Can I share all of your personal information immediately? No. Right.

279
00:22:06,069 –> 00:22:09,469
So, but kids just say yes to all of that.

280
00:22:09,649 –> 00:22:12,389
Yeah, because they’re just trying to get to the app, right? And so you’ve got

281
00:22:12,389 –> 00:22:16,189
to get through those gateways, so to speak, in order to get to what you’re trying

282
00:22:16,189 –> 00:22:18,009
to do and want to do in the first place.

283
00:22:18,569 –> 00:22:23,669
Exactly. Exactly. So it’s important that we have those conversations that they

284
00:22:23,669 –> 00:22:29,029
that and parents are engaged, especially with younger kids when they’re downloading

285
00:22:29,029 –> 00:22:32,589
app, not to let the kids download those apps by themselves.

286
00:22:32,669 –> 00:22:37,569
That parent needs to do it, set up the privacy setting, set up the restrictions

287
00:22:37,569 –> 00:22:40,669
so that they’re not accessing your contacts and your location.

288
00:22:41,329 –> 00:22:44,249
And then send their children on their way.

289
00:22:44,989 –> 00:22:50,589
Absolutely. Great point. I know we wanted to talk about this cyber-savvy parents class.

290
00:22:50,689 –> 00:22:53,049
That’s one of the classes that you offer and talk about.

291
00:22:53,209 –> 00:22:57,409
But I thought this one was just as important, and I want us to talk about this

292
00:22:57,409 –> 00:23:01,309
for just a second, is what to know before giving your child a smartphone.

293
00:23:01,569 –> 00:23:05,049
I think that’s a great heading for that section.

294
00:23:06,049 –> 00:23:09,749
So that was the first parenting

295
00:23:09,749 –> 00:23:12,529
class that i actually designed and there was

296
00:23:12,529 –> 00:23:18,569
so much information in there so we talked a lot about you know when you know

297
00:23:18,569 –> 00:23:25,629
when should a child get their first smart device and and when you know basically

298
00:23:25,629 –> 00:23:30,069
i said parents are going to know their kids better than anybody else.

299
00:23:30,229 –> 00:23:34,789
So if you quite honestly in your gut think your child is not ready,

300
00:23:35,789 –> 00:23:39,549
then don’t give them one, regardless of whatever the social pressure is.

301
00:23:40,349 –> 00:23:44,129
But biologically, just to talk about our kids.

302
00:23:46,151 –> 00:23:51,031
In a biological way. So they have their prefrontal cortex, which is their executive

303
00:23:51,031 –> 00:23:52,391
decision making ability.

304
00:23:53,011 –> 00:23:59,051
It touches on their insight, their empathy, their impulse control and risk taking behavior.

305
00:23:59,231 –> 00:24:06,151
That part of their brain up until the age of 22 and in some cases a little bit later is underactive.

306
00:24:06,751 –> 00:24:13,011
But in the meantime, they have a limbic system, which is that pleasure seeking area of the brain.

307
00:24:13,011 –> 00:24:16,971
You know basically it’s kind

308
00:24:16,971 –> 00:24:21,451
of like the angel and the devil on your your shoulder yeah the prefrontal cortex

309
00:24:21,451 –> 00:24:25,171
is the angel it says don’t do that i was wondering why that happened to me as

310
00:24:25,171 –> 00:24:31,951
a kid and your limbic system is a little overactive so sure when kids get a

311
00:24:31,951 –> 00:24:33,631
device like a smart device.

312
00:24:34,251 –> 00:24:37,271
They just you know it is like they

313
00:24:37,271 –> 00:24:40,731
take it and go with it with wild abandon

314
00:24:40,731 –> 00:24:44,211
and so it there’s no control they

315
00:24:44,211 –> 00:24:47,291
don’t make good decisions but biologically they’re not

316
00:24:47,291 –> 00:24:50,331
able to make good decisions they’re just not wired yet

317
00:24:50,331 –> 00:24:53,391
they’re not wired right exactly they’re not

318
00:24:53,391 –> 00:24:57,891
wired that way so their decisions are largely based on what feels good what

319
00:24:57,891 –> 00:25:05,411
immediately will satisfy them so they never consider things like privacy safety

320
00:25:05,411 –> 00:25:12,051
don’t be distracted while you’re walking They never even think about those things.

321
00:25:12,451 –> 00:25:17,951
So that’s what I talk about with parents in these classes is the first thing

322
00:25:17,951 –> 00:25:21,331
that you need to do is just secure the device, like simple thing,

323
00:25:21,471 –> 00:25:25,891
like secure the device with a password. That’s first and foremost.

324
00:25:26,231 –> 00:25:31,571
Make sure that people who aren’t intended to use that device can’t use that

325
00:25:31,571 –> 00:25:33,371
device. I had a scary story.

326
00:25:33,971 –> 00:25:37,171
And I know I’m going to share with you a lot of scary stories.

327
00:25:37,551 –> 00:25:40,611
No, that’s good. We need to know. We need to know this stuff.

328
00:25:40,731 –> 00:25:44,051
We need to know what goes on in the real world because we base everything on

329
00:25:44,051 –> 00:25:49,791
what we see on TV. So we talked about predators and they’re everywhere, even on our playground.

330
00:25:50,411 –> 00:25:58,371
So there was a child who had a phone and she put it down and went to go play

331
00:25:58,371 –> 00:25:59,591
with her friend on the slide.

332
00:25:59,691 –> 00:26:04,671
And then she came back. Her phone was still there, but there was a predator

333
00:26:04,671 –> 00:26:08,711
sitting there watching her the whole entire time, picked up the phone,

334
00:26:08,871 –> 00:26:12,551
installed some spyware on her phone.

335
00:26:12,551 –> 00:26:19,431
And then proceeded to monitor her, harass her with phone calls.

336
00:26:19,671 –> 00:26:24,831
The parents, she told, luckily, this child told her parents, and she told them,

337
00:26:25,266 –> 00:26:28,586
They changed their telephone number, but because the spyware was on the device

338
00:26:28,586 –> 00:26:32,126
itself, they didn’t get rid of the device. They just changed the telephone number. True.

339
00:26:32,306 –> 00:26:36,186
The predator was able to continue to harass her. Wow.

340
00:26:36,726 –> 00:26:42,446
So it’s really scary. And that’s just one of the simplest things that parents

341
00:26:42,446 –> 00:26:46,666
can do for their children is make sure that they secure all of their devices

342
00:26:46,666 –> 00:26:51,586
with a password and discuss with the child why it’s important,

343
00:26:51,846 –> 00:26:55,846
because it just protects them from any unauthorized user.

344
00:26:57,006 –> 00:27:00,186
Yeah, that’s a great point. It’s just basics, as so oftentimes it is.

345
00:27:00,206 –> 00:27:02,426
Just basic 101 type stuff.

346
00:27:02,506 –> 00:27:05,166
You should secure your things.

347
00:27:05,686 –> 00:27:10,466
Right. And then, so once it’s secure, a lot of parents forget that,

348
00:27:10,506 –> 00:27:14,126
okay, so now I’ve locked down my phone, but now it’s locked down.

349
00:27:14,206 –> 00:27:19,226
So if something happens with my child and how is somebody going to get in touch with them?

350
00:27:19,886 –> 00:27:25,946
So they need to put an emergency contact information on the lock screen.

351
00:27:26,186 –> 00:27:30,926
A nice number in case of emergency. I even have that on my phone. Right.

352
00:27:31,306 –> 00:27:35,986
Right. So but, you know, don’t put the name of who they’re calling.

353
00:27:36,146 –> 00:27:40,126
You just want to say in case of an emergency, here’s the number. Please call.

354
00:27:40,466 –> 00:27:44,586
So but that’s that’s so important. And parents forget that step, too.

355
00:27:45,166 –> 00:27:51,486
Yeah. So there’s an app that I use just so, you know, for parents who want to do this.

356
00:27:51,586 –> 00:27:55,266
And if you if you’re a parent of a teen, they’re always going to going to change

357
00:27:55,266 –> 00:27:56,486
their lock screen photo.

358
00:27:57,706 –> 00:28:03,846
So there’s an app called over that they can download, which will display text

359
00:28:03,846 –> 00:28:08,806
over any pictures that the kids want to use for their lock screen photo.

360
00:28:09,006 –> 00:28:11,986
And then they have, you know, you teach them how to use it though.

361
00:28:12,066 –> 00:28:15,906
Whenever they change that lock screen photo, they always have to put the ice

362
00:28:15,906 –> 00:28:17,866
information on front of the screen.

363
00:28:18,126 –> 00:28:22,486
And what is it called? Over O V E R? O V E R.

364
00:28:23,166 –> 00:28:26,346
So and it’s just an app that displays text over pictures

365
00:28:26,346 –> 00:28:29,026
sure so it’s one of many but that’s the

366
00:28:29,026 –> 00:28:31,746
one i like to use sure not to

367
00:28:31,746 –> 00:28:34,706
break stride but just to go back to when is a good time

368
00:28:34,706 –> 00:28:38,066
to give your child a smartphone or when should you know

369
00:28:38,066 –> 00:28:41,046
at what point what age and i know recently

370
00:28:41,046 –> 00:28:43,786
and we won’t mention any names but i know recently you did

371
00:28:43,786 –> 00:28:51,106
a spot on a local news network tv news spot And I think I remember a data point

372
00:28:51,106 –> 00:28:57,246
being something to the effect that the FTC says that 13 is the earliest age

373
00:28:57,246 –> 00:29:02,746
that you could give a child or should give a child a smartphone. Is that right?

374
00:29:02,926 –> 00:29:13,826
Or was that just… FTC regulations say that 13 is the age that kids should get on social media.

375
00:29:13,826 –> 00:29:19,766
And at the after the age of they use 13 or most apps use the age of 13,

376
00:29:19,886 –> 00:29:23,426
because at that point they are beyond mature.

377
00:29:25,050 –> 00:29:30,030
COPPA regulations, which is Children’s Online Protection Agency regulations.

378
00:29:31,630 –> 00:29:38,670
And that’s the agency that says you can’t sell a child information under the age of 13.

379
00:29:39,050 –> 00:29:44,350
So most social media sites say, okay, well, we’re going to avoid that and say 13 or over.

380
00:29:44,590 –> 00:29:48,730
It seems like, and maybe it’s just me, but it seems like kids are getting younger

381
00:29:48,730 –> 00:29:50,590
and younger that have phones, right?

382
00:29:50,710 –> 00:29:55,430
It’s one thing to have a phone that’s locked down to just being able to call mom or dad at home.

383
00:29:55,530 –> 00:30:02,750
But is it just me or are kids getting younger and younger that have access to smartphones?

384
00:30:03,070 –> 00:30:05,910
They are getting younger and younger. And the reason being for that,

385
00:30:06,090 –> 00:30:10,290
I think a parent’s number one fear is that their child is going to go missing.

386
00:30:10,630 –> 00:30:18,210
So when they give them a phone, they feel like they can protect them or they

387
00:30:18,210 –> 00:30:19,770
can at least know where they are.

388
00:30:20,190 –> 00:30:25,770
Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. So that’s why I, they view it as a tether,

389
00:30:25,830 –> 00:30:28,490
but it’s not necessarily working that way.

390
00:30:28,850 –> 00:30:34,650
Right. Right. It’s just a way for the parents to stay connected to their child.

391
00:30:35,390 –> 00:30:41,390
But back to your original question, like when determine your child’s readiness

392
00:30:41,390 –> 00:30:49,390
as a parent, I know that my child matures at a different rate than other children.

393
00:30:49,870 –> 00:30:56,790
And I think that there’s no easy answer for that. So I get that question in every seminar that I do.

394
00:30:57,210 –> 00:31:03,790
And it’s just, I can’t give them a definite answer because the child is so different.

395
00:31:04,750 –> 00:31:08,710
So as a parent, I always just say, I’m gonna toss that back to you.

396
00:31:08,890 –> 00:31:10,750
Just use your gut instinct.

397
00:31:11,050 –> 00:31:16,250
You know your child better than anyone else. If you feel like they’re.

398
00:31:17,524 –> 00:31:27,044
A little bit more impulsive or a little less responsible with keeping up with things, then hold off.

399
00:31:27,464 –> 00:31:31,104
I’ve never had a parent come to me and say, gosh, I wish I would have given

400
00:31:31,104 –> 00:31:35,184
my child a phone earlier. Right. I wish I’d give it to him at eight instead of 11.

401
00:31:35,344 –> 00:31:38,004
That would have been better for all of us. Right. Right.

402
00:31:38,244 –> 00:31:42,364
You know, that’s, that’s a good point to be made because, and recently we’ve

403
00:31:42,364 –> 00:31:44,904
just completed a podcast on gun safety, right?

404
00:31:44,984 –> 00:31:49,304
And whether you’re, you know, proponent, an advocate for guns or a gun control

405
00:31:49,304 –> 00:31:51,904
advocate, everybody can use some safety tips, right?

406
00:31:52,004 –> 00:31:57,604
But part of that is the same exact question. When is too early or when is the

407
00:31:57,604 –> 00:32:02,824
right point to talk about gun safety with my child or introduce firearms to

408
00:32:02,824 –> 00:32:04,744
my child? And that’s the answer.

409
00:32:04,804 –> 00:32:10,424
Like they want a hard, you know, steady, oh, it should be 13 or 15, right? Whatever.

410
00:32:10,724 –> 00:32:14,244
But But the answer is the same. You know your child best.

411
00:32:14,424 –> 00:32:18,224
You have to make that determination as to, you know, are they mature enough

412
00:32:18,224 –> 00:32:21,484
to understand basic safety and to be able to handle that firearm?

413
00:32:21,644 –> 00:32:27,264
So it applies on both sides. So I understand exactly the answer and why it’s provided that way.

414
00:32:27,644 –> 00:32:31,244
Right. To give a little bit more guidance to parents on that vein,

415
00:32:31,364 –> 00:32:40,124
I pretty much say when you are ready to be fully engaged in your child’s digital world,

416
00:32:40,324 –> 00:32:46,084
then you’re one step closer to being able to give your child a device.

417
00:32:46,264 –> 00:32:49,824
That is a great answer because that really does put the onus on them to think

418
00:32:49,824 –> 00:32:53,524
through all the angles that as a parent they need to be working when they do

419
00:32:53,524 –> 00:32:57,164
give a device like that to their child. Right, right.

420
00:32:58,084 –> 00:33:04,004
So, and, you know, when I talk about that, I say, are you committed to educating

421
00:33:04,004 –> 00:33:09,884
yourself at least one hour a month, which I know sounds like that is no time at all.

422
00:33:09,924 –> 00:33:14,664
But some parents don’t ever educate them themselves on technology.

423
00:33:14,964 –> 00:33:19,504
But I said, you have to commit to at least one hour a month of,

424
00:33:19,504 –> 00:33:20,864
you know, just reading through.

425
00:33:21,184 –> 00:33:24,564
Common Sense Media is a pretty good website for parents.

426
00:33:24,564 –> 00:33:27,924
It gives you an overview of

427
00:33:27,924 –> 00:33:30,984
a lot of different apps it gives you

428
00:33:30,984 –> 00:33:33,664
security alerts so that’s one that

429
00:33:33,664 –> 00:33:36,964
i like to recommend and what’s the name again it’s common

430
00:33:36,964 –> 00:33:42,744
sense media common sense that which a lot of folks don’t have but there’s opportunities

431
00:33:42,744 –> 00:33:50,444
to pick some up along the way right correct that concludes part one of two of

432
00:33:50,444 –> 00:33:55,344
our podcast with kathy loomis of cyber savvy Abby. Be sure to tune in to part two.

433
00:33:56,080 –> 00:34:16,305
Music.