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Music.

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Hello and welcome back to the Self-Initiative Project Podcast.

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I’m your host, Jim O’Brien, and we’re episode 29. And today I’ve got on my special

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guest, Randy King of KPC Self-Defense and Randy King Live. How are you, Randy?

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I’m doing excellent. How are you, Jim? Awesome. Awesome. You know,

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you have the distinguished honor of being our first international guest on our

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podcast. So congratulations.

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All the way from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

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Yeah. If this was Europe, I’d be four countries away from you for sure.

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I’m definitely far away.

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Yeah. It’s a, it’s a little bit of a drive for sure. Yeah.

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And I remember, well, if I think I remember, so we’re both connected on Instagram

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and I’ve been following you around for a while, just being in the,

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in the same community and whatever.

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And I remember it’s just been in the last month, month and a half that you had

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a post and you asked, Hey, hey, if I were to go traveling around doing seminars

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with Rory Miller, would anyone be interested?

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And I think I said, well, if you got down to Atlanta or nearby,

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I would definitely be interested in doing that.

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And we went back and forth a little bit and you said, well, we’ll talk about

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it. We could talk about it on your podcast, wink, wink.

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And I was like, hey, great. We can do it.

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I’m definitely the king of shameless self-promotion. I was like,

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hey, do you want to talk about the podcast? Let’s do this thing.

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I was like, that’s pretty slick. I’ve got to get him props for that.

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So we’re going to make this thing happen if we can.

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I’ve got to work. Yeah. Yeah. So before we get started and whatever we’re going to cover today,

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usually just take a few minutes, however much time and talk about yourself for

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as much as you like and you know who you are, what you do, what your background

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is, how you got to where you are, all that fun stuff.

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Sure. So I’ll give you the abridged version of this.

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If people want to know more of this, you can check out my YouTube channel.

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I’m sure we’ll do promotions at the end, but I have a whole like seven minute

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descriptor video on kind of who I am and what I do.

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But the CliffsNotes for the US listeners, Cole’s Notes up here is the same thing.

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I was going to say Cole’s Notes.

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That’s Canadian. But the clip note is I was a extremely chubby kid who got bullied a lot.

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And I started watching the Power Rangers.

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Noticed the Power Rangers didn’t get bullied, decided to take martial arts.

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And that’s like the start of this whole insane journey that’s taking me to today.

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So I started in Taekwondo because Edmonton is the Taekwondo capital of Canada.

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We have more Taekwondo schools here per capita than anywhere else.

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So it was the most available martial arts.

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And I think that’s where most people start is what’s the closest thing to my house?

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What’s the most accessible art that I could get to? Yeah. I started Taekwondo.

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Yeah. And I don’t know if you guys have more Taekwondo schools up there or we

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do down here. I think it’s like Starbucks down here. There’s like one on every corner.

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Taekwondo did a phenomenal job of systemizing and attacking a specific market

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like they, they’re crushing it.

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I want that Taekwondo money there. They’re doing really well.

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Yeah. But yeah, so started in Taekwondo, got up to Black Belt and started like

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branching out as you do with the martial arts, right?

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You start in your one local club and then they bring in instructors, et cetera.

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So I started branching out a little bit and decided that I wanted to become

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a bouncer. So I wanted to do nightclub security.

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I didn’t feel like going to college. I had a bunch of trophies.

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I thought I was king of the badasses and I wasn’t. I found out very quickly.

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So became a bouncer. And when I started bouncing, that’s when…

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I say the wave of reality hit the cliff or the wave of my ego with the cliff

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of reality and kind of shattered some things.

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So I thought that Taekwondo was an all encompassing art because that’s how it

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was presented. Now, not to date, not to date myself too much, but I’m pre-internet.

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So I couldn’t just like Google is this bullshit, right? Like we had things now, like, right.

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Like we had things now, like McDojo and we have the websites.

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There’s people talk fake martial arts, bullshido. So there’s a ton of resources

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now for people to find out what’s important.

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But in my day, you just had to take the word of the dude talking to you.

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And if he was a good salesperson, you did it, right? Yep.

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Telling you the things you want to hear. Exactly. Telling you the things you

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want to hear, has the right pictures with the right people, has the right magic

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pieces of paper on the wall and special frames.

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You’re like, oh, this is the spot, right? I’m home.

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Exactly. So my first fight in a

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bar, I got my butt absolutely kicked by a 50-year-old out-of-shape biker.

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And that kind of woke me up. I was like, well, I’m 19, and I was in shape back

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then. I’m not now, but I was in shape then.

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And I thought I was this invincible killing machine, and that’s just not what happened.

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So that was kind of my first view into what got me to our end today.

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So I started looking at more contact art. So Thai boxing, standing wrestling,

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submission wrestling, Filipino martial arts.

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Actually, I’m really big into FMA. I actually was in the Philippines training

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for two months under some grandmasters. It was pretty cool.

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So I got really into that. And then I got stabbed.

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And I’ve missed that multiple times, but the one that got me was this major one.

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That’s the one that kind of shifted my focus from physical skills to what I

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do more now, which is the soft skill, the education, the psychology,

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the reaction time, the stress response that happens.

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And then so that’s kind of how KPC started is I wanted to give people the information I wasn’t given.

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I didn’t want to just tell people like now that you have a black belt,

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you are a god of war. I wanted them to have like a real picture of what violence was like.

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And a huge, huge, huge jump with that was the guy you mentioned earlier, Rory Miller.

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I am a very fortunate person that I found, number one, not only that I found Rory Miller’s book.

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So if your listeners don’t know who he is, that’d be crazy if you don’t.

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But if you don’t, check out Meditation on Violence, Facing Violence.

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I think those are his two best books.

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Yes. His view matched up with what I had experienced. And it was the first time

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somebody was speaking to me about violence in a way that I experienced it.

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Because, like I said, Marshall Journey got a black belt.

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Then I was a full-time bouncer. Now, I know when people say they’re bouncers,

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like they bounce on the weekends at college.

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I was a full-time bouncer and security specialist.

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I was there, yeah, six days a week, 11 years of my life. I was doing close protection.

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I was a full-time bouncer. I was head of security. I did event security.

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So it’s not like I, you know, did this in college. I was doing this for a very

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long time. Yeah, you weren’t a dad.

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Exactly, yeah. When it comes to bouncing, and Edmonton back in the day was crazy.

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There was an oil boom up here, and that brought a whole host of problems. A certain element.

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Oh, yeah. Well, it just attracts, like, I don’t want to say easy money,

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because working on the rigs is very intrinsically hard, but it’s easy when you’re

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young, and that attracts, like, I don’t want to go to school.

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I know everything. I’m going to go make $200,000 a year, and also,

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you know, drugs exist, and so people make poor choices.

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Yeah. So, yeah, so very lucky I got to meet Rory.

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We became very fast friends, which is kind of crazy because our personalities

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are exceptionally different.

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And he became my mentor. And now I’m very lucky to be part of the Violet Dynamics

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team and to go on this road trip with Rory Miller that we’re planning for next year.

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So it’s been a pretty cool experience.

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But, yeah, long story short, fat kid, did martial arts, found out martial arts was fake.

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Lephas got involved and then started seeking more realistic uses of force and violence.

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So you said you had a black belt in or have a black belt in Taekwondo.

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And I know you also have multiple levels, multiple degrees of black belt in modern Arnis.

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And I know Arnis is sticks and Filipino in nature.

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But can you talk about a little bit about that and how it is incorporated into

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what you’re doing now? Because I found that interesting, too.

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Absolutely. So I would say had, I can’t kick over my head anymore.

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So I don’t have a black belt Taekwondo.

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I had one at one point in time with the, with the modern Arnese.

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It was, I actually got that through a guy named Telly Warden,

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very amazing instructor, legendary in the industry, especially for FMA.

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FMA being Filipino martial arts. If your listeners don’t know the shorthand,

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I don’t want to be that guy. Sure. So. Drop an acronym.

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Yeah, exactly. Drop the cool acronyms in my cargo pants, my cargo shorts that are camouflaged.

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So modern and

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east really attracted me after i got stabbed so i’ve had multiple weapon encounters

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pulled on me i’ve had knives and bats i got dragged by a car a bunch of crazy

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stuff happening my 11 years of bouncing yeah again it was a wild time and also

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you know when you work a job like that full time like this wasn’t every day

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yeah but over 11 years you’re gonna see crazy,

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exactly yeah so that’s that’s what really attracted me to the filipino martial

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arts and i really like the saying that I heard when I first started taking it.

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So I actually started with the Inosanto blend.

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So I was at a JK, at G Quido School, JKD, Bruce Lee’s martial art. Yep.

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And Dan Inosanto, legend again in the industry. If you don’t know who Dan Inosanto

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is, look at him. He’s nuts.

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Nuts isn’t good. Not a crazy person. Yeah. Yeah. But anyways,

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I did the Inosanto blend. So I was doing Filipino system,

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And then I really, and then a guy, Kelly Warden came to Edmonton.

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I did a seminar with him and his natural spirit system.

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And that was, again, it just started clicking, right? Like, oh, this makes sense.

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And the saying that really hit me was, you don’t go to war and look for a weapon,

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you bring a weapon to war.

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And that’s the FMA thought process, right? is if you can have weapons on you, that would make sense.

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But the thing that attracted me was if you understand how to use a knife,

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then you understand how a knife can be used.

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And I didn’t want to get stabbed again, right? Not again.

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Yeah, not again. So I’ve had one in the face. I got one in the face, one in the leg.

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And so my joke, this is my bad joke. I’m going to tell it anyway because I love it.

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So I like to say I got stabbed two and a half times. So I got one in the face. That wasn’t a big deal.

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I got one in the leg that was going for my neck. And then I got a fork.

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So I count the fork as half, but as a marketing, as a marketing guy,

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I want to count each prong. So what if I got stabbed six times?

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I was going to, I was going to say that’s not half, that’s four.

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Yeah. That’s just basic math, man. You got four holes for the price of one.

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Exactly. And that one of all the stabs, that one pissed me off the most. It was just insane.

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This guy just pulled a fork and stabbed me and I looked at it and I looked at him anyway.

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So going back to what I was saying. So the FMA really attracted me because they

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were showing me stuff that I thought at times realistic.

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There’s a lot in the traditional systems that is wanting for realistic violence,

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but it’s a much closer touch point than my original arc, that’s for sure.

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So I got really obsessed with it. I have post-concussion syndrome from all the

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fights I was in, so I had a lot of head injuries.

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And I was actually not allowed to spar for years and years and years and years

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and years. So I couldn’t do the pressure testing, wrestling,

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boxing that I love to do so much.

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So I really got attracted to the weapons because in my head,

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I was like, if you take a machete to the head, you’re done.

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So, right? Like, so it doesn’t matter about my concussions anymore.

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That’s actually what got me out of bouncing in general was just too many brain

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injuries. Yeah, sure. Sure.

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So talking about your close encounters with the bladed, the edged weapons,

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what is your, how do I want to ask, what is your takeaway as far as differences

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in training versus the realities of edged weapons?

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Because, you know, so many schools, Krav Maga included, because I have a Krav

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background and I think you do, too.

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They really, I don’t want to say sensationalize, but, you know, draw students in.

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That’ll be a part of some of the seminars and it’s cool and sexy,

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but it is not reality for knife fights.

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You want to talk about a little bit about your experience there?

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Of course we can. Yeah. So this is one of my big things. And I know we’ll talk

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about it later, but why I brand my stuff, realities of violence is I’m a huge research nerd.

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And I like to look at like, instead of, and because I had so much BS fed to

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me when a knife, and I can’t agree with you more.

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Knife is sensationalized it is this this thing and i think the biggest takeaways for me is.

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Violence always has goals so when

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we look at people look at knife fighting or knife combat or

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self-defense versus the knife and these are all different things yeah but when

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we look at that they they just tend to focus on the knife

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and not why the person is using a knife does that make

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sense yep absolutely so my biggest

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takeaway is what is the intent of the person what in my experience

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and my very limited experience of like i’ve had 18 knives pulled

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on me my entire life only three well two got me in a fork

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yeah but the other ones like most of

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the time if you can see the

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weapon the weapon’s intent is not use

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so i if i’m flashing a knife at you my intent is not to stab me with the knife

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my intent is to use the knife to have an exclamation point to my request or

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demand right so i want to come in give me your money they’re going to pull this

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get in the van They’re using the weapon as a conversation piece,

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so you’re scared while they’re making their demand.

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Again, another FMA Filipino martial arts saying is the blade is meant to be felt, not seen.

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Every time a knife has come at me, when I’ve been stabbed, I didn’t know a knife was present.

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So I didn’t know a knife was present in the major encounter.

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So I think that’s my biggest takeaway is if a knife is being shown,

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I’m not saying they’re not going to stab you.

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You can definitely talk yourself into a stabbing. 100% you can do that.

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But if the knife is being presented, it’s being used as part of the demand that’s

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happening in this social kind of violence, this hierarchy situation.

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If a person truly wants to harm you with a knife, you’re not going to know a knife is present.

00:14:18.670 –> 00:14:23.270
So your training has to, especially for training for sudden violence,

00:14:23.470 –> 00:14:27.810
it has to be very similar. Like whatever thing you do to block a low punch or

00:14:27.810 –> 00:14:30.910
to stop a low attack has to be able to adapt to a knife.

00:14:31.010 –> 00:14:34.890
Because if you think that you’re going to see the knife and know you’re in a

00:14:34.890 –> 00:14:38.690
knife situation and you have to switch to your knife fighting form,

00:14:38.850 –> 00:14:41.570
that’s not going to work in real life. It’s just, it’s just not.

00:14:42.690 –> 00:14:45.710
Almost everybody knows who’s been stabbed. And I hear it a lot because I work.

00:14:46.456 –> 00:14:51.016
I work with one of, I think, the biggest demographic variants on the planet.

00:14:51.196 –> 00:14:55.876
I work with white-collar CEOs. I work with athletes who are playing football.

00:14:56.176 –> 00:15:00.056
I also work on the First Nations Reserves, and I work with kids at risk and

00:15:00.056 –> 00:15:01.276
Marshall. So I work with everybody.

00:15:02.396 –> 00:15:06.276
When I’m on the reserve, I’m working with people from the First Nations,

00:15:06.456 –> 00:15:09.536
Indigenous people. I don’t know what your PC term is down there.

00:15:09.636 –> 00:15:13.076
We say Indigenous or First Nations up here in Canada. but so

00:15:13.076 –> 00:15:16.196
like when i’m working with them on the reserve like being stabbed like

00:15:16.196 –> 00:15:18.776
when i go to a when i go to like a corporate event when i say i got

00:15:18.776 –> 00:15:21.756
stabbed like oh my god when i go to reserve like

00:15:21.756 –> 00:15:28.856
how many times right we like share stories right yeah details exactly so it’s

00:15:28.856 –> 00:15:32.336
a totally different experience right i had this really cool bonding experience

00:15:32.336 –> 00:15:37.496
with this former gang player in on a reserve and he was like i’m trying to establish

00:15:37.496 –> 00:15:40.196
that couple he’s like i got stabbed Oh, what happened to you?

00:15:40.296 –> 00:15:43.716
And then we like shared stories and kind of bonded over the shared experience

00:15:43.716 –> 00:15:46.356
of having a nice edge of our flesh. It was, it was fascinating.

00:15:46.636 –> 00:15:51.376
But all, everybody that I talked to about this, if the knife is being used,

00:15:51.856 –> 00:15:53.376
most people don’t see it.

00:15:53.476 –> 00:15:59.056
And so I know I’m long answer to your short question, biggest takeaway as I talk all day is.

00:15:59.914 –> 00:16:05.034
You’re probably not going to see it coming if they’re truly intending to hurt you with it.

00:16:05.154 –> 00:16:08.634
If they pull a knife and they’re using the conversation and you force them to

00:16:08.634 –> 00:16:09.954
use it, that’s different.

00:16:10.374 –> 00:16:13.774
But if your self-defense training is forcing somebody to stab you,

00:16:14.134 –> 00:16:17.994
there’s a glitch in your self-defense training. You’re doing something wrong. Yeah, absolutely.

00:16:18.354 –> 00:16:22.154
And I sidetracked. Of course, we don’t really have an agenda today,

00:16:22.174 –> 00:16:24.894
so I don’t know if it’s technically a sidetrack.

00:16:24.894 –> 00:16:29.754
But I asked because I knew going through my research that you had had at least

00:16:29.754 –> 00:16:34.434
one knife encounter and having trained in Krav the way I have,

00:16:34.534 –> 00:16:37.434
I’ve seen a lot of that training, static and dynamic.

00:16:37.874 –> 00:16:42.694
And, you know, I know it’s utilized in all the little seminars to lure folks

00:16:42.694 –> 00:16:48.514
in and all of that good stuff. So I think, you know, your story illustrates two points.

00:16:48.714 –> 00:16:51.614
There’s nothing, well, actually more than that, but there’s nothing glamorous

00:16:51.614 –> 00:16:54.774
about getting into a knife fight or thinking that you’re going to be able to

00:16:54.774 –> 00:16:57.034
get through a knife fight, you’re

00:16:57.034 –> 00:17:02.114
likely not going to ever see the knife before it’s out and or in you,

00:17:02.314 –> 00:17:07.554
which is something that’s not really ever directly addressed in some of these classes and seminars.

00:17:08.014 –> 00:17:12.554
And the third, which was always been mine, is this shit doesn’t work,

00:17:12.974 –> 00:17:15.274
right? At least not all the time.

00:17:15.554 –> 00:17:18.414
So that’s why I wanted to talk about that.

00:17:19.094 –> 00:17:21.614
Awesome. We can talk about what you want. i love i love talking about knife

00:17:21.614 –> 00:17:24.254
stuff because like you said right there’s still there’s so much.

00:17:25.314 –> 00:17:27.994
Mythos around it in the in the industry i like to make the

00:17:27.994 –> 00:17:31.254
joke everybody’s like oh we want to hire randy for like knife defense like why

00:17:31.254 –> 00:17:34.254
don’t you hire somebody that didn’t get stabbed clearly i fit right i don’t

00:17:34.254 –> 00:17:41.134
know why you failed the litmus test yeah yeah well well i think i think if nothing

00:17:41.134 –> 00:17:44.234
else it makes you a professional knife fighter at this point you know there’s

00:17:44.234 –> 00:17:46.294
very few of those because they’re all dead.

00:17:46.474 –> 00:17:51.054
100%. I definitely have professional mice liner as a tribal tattoo on my bicep.

00:17:51.154 –> 00:17:51.994
I don’t. I’m just kidding.

00:17:52.494 –> 00:17:58.494
So, but it’s interesting because like if you look at the stats on it, like a nice being yee,

00:17:58.987 –> 00:18:04.187
at least here in Canada, is relatively low, unless you’re in a life of violence, right?

00:18:04.267 –> 00:18:07.747
So if you hang on a violent people, I’ll carry knives, and obviously the likelihood of it increases.

00:18:08.327 –> 00:18:12.447
And yes, I get the marketing draw that people want people to come to class.

00:18:12.547 –> 00:18:15.047
We’ll talk about knife defense. We do it here, too. We have a knife defense

00:18:15.047 –> 00:18:16.967
program in our curriculum at KPC.

00:18:19.147 –> 00:18:23.167
But it’s the reality of it. It’s like the most likely the person who’s going

00:18:23.167 –> 00:18:27.287
to stab you is, It might be, you know, your spouse because you’ve cheated.

00:18:27.427 –> 00:18:30.707
That’s way more likely than all these like back alley encounters that people

00:18:30.707 –> 00:18:32.927
are training for where they’re training cut for cut.

00:18:33.247 –> 00:18:37.527
And if you’re my specialization is is civilian based self-defense.

00:18:37.747 –> 00:18:40.587
I don’t I’ve worked with police. I’ve worked with military. I have all the patches

00:18:40.587 –> 00:18:41.627
and I’ve done all that stuff.

00:18:41.827 –> 00:18:47.407
But that’s not that’s not where my focus is. My focus is on everyday people who are doing this.

00:18:47.547 –> 00:18:52.567
Now, if you’re looking at everyday people, the odds of you getting stabbed are very, very low.

00:18:52.567 –> 00:18:55.907
Odds of you getting forced through somebody

00:18:55.907 –> 00:18:58.607
psychologically overwhelming you or somebody just grabbing and

00:18:58.607 –> 00:19:01.387
hitting you that’s way higher and it’s still pretty

00:19:01.387 –> 00:19:04.747
low but if you look at violent crime yeah knife is

00:19:04.747 –> 00:19:07.587
low gun is low obviously we’re at

00:19:07.587 –> 00:19:10.307
a interesting point in history at least

00:19:10.307 –> 00:19:13.107
in your country where obviously gun violence it seems i don’t

00:19:13.107 –> 00:19:16.247
know if it’s on the rise but a lot more of it on tv uh because

00:19:16.247 –> 00:19:19.067
of what’s happening with the protesting and the riots and all

00:19:19.067 –> 00:19:22.007
of the things and i’m not going to get political i’m just adding

00:19:22.007 –> 00:19:28.107
it to caveat to the research is that like gun is in the u.s a little bit higher

00:19:28.107 –> 00:19:32.087
up here and almost every other country gun crime is lower because guns are harder

00:19:32.087 –> 00:19:36.747
to access and that’s what we have to understand is access to the weapon is what’s

00:19:36.747 –> 00:19:39.947
going to make it happen because most of the time in social violence at least.

00:19:40.551 –> 00:19:44.011
The people aren’t planning to get into an altercation, right? It’s not a plan.

00:19:44.191 –> 00:19:47.591
They’re not like, oh, I can’t wait to road rage today. Oh, I can’t wait to,

00:19:47.831 –> 00:19:51.871
right? That’s not what happens. So whatever’s accessible is what’s going to get used.

00:19:52.171 –> 00:19:55.991
So that’s why it’s mostly fists and, you know, bats and that kind of stuff.

00:19:56.111 –> 00:19:59.651
But then if you have a gun on you and you’re mad, then obviously a gun can come

00:19:59.651 –> 00:20:01.491
into play. I’m not saying that’s good or bad.

00:20:01.771 –> 00:20:06.871
Just looking at the numbers, it’s accessibility to the tool is what’s going to indicate the tool.

00:20:06.871 –> 00:20:09.611
So if the person’s coming to kill you and

00:20:09.611 –> 00:20:12.491
they bring a knife that odds are high you’re going to get into a knife encounter but

00:20:12.491 –> 00:20:15.111
even in like my situation when the

00:20:15.111 –> 00:20:17.731
person wanted to hurt me with the knife they had to have the

00:20:17.731 –> 00:20:20.271
knife on them and that’s why i’ve only had like i

00:20:20.271 –> 00:20:23.351
said 18 and 18 sounds like a lot most of

00:20:23.351 –> 00:20:26.031
those are people just flashing a knife or like trying to scare me with the knife

00:20:26.031 –> 00:20:29.291
creating a barrier but 18 encounters out

00:20:29.291 –> 00:20:32.311
of i can’t even count how many times i old angry

00:20:32.311 –> 00:20:35.031
drunk people know yeah so like statistically it’s like

00:20:35.031 –> 00:20:38.071
0.0000 whatever even though 18 sounds

00:20:38.071 –> 00:20:40.871
cool like i’m a tough guy right but that’s not what i’m trying to say out of

00:20:40.871 –> 00:20:47.351
11 years as a full-time job i saw 18 weapons so one point one point two times

00:20:47.351 –> 00:20:52.811
three times a year whatever whatever the math works out to be yeah not a lot

00:20:52.811 –> 00:20:56.771
in the overall scheme of things exactly and not and not even all of those are

00:20:56.771 –> 00:21:00.171
trying to go into me only a couple were like most of them were like, I have a knife.

00:21:00.371 –> 00:21:03.031
What now? And I’m like, same answer, please leave. Right.

00:21:03.191 –> 00:21:07.391
So it was an interesting shift. So I think one of my biggest,

00:21:07.391 –> 00:21:12.091
I think, talking points in this industry is train for your environment,

00:21:12.291 –> 00:21:13.391
train for what you’re worried about.

00:21:13.471 –> 00:21:18.651
Like if you are a, if you’re an accountant and you drive from your alarmed building

00:21:18.651 –> 00:21:22.271
with security in your alarmed car to your alarmed home.

00:21:22.771 –> 00:21:27.411
Like, do you need to know Navy SEAL knife tactics no you probably don’t right

00:21:27.411 –> 00:21:31.591
like and and most people’s reason for trading is.

00:21:32.107 –> 00:21:37.707
Is to keep them and their family safe. Right. Absolutely. So the safest your

00:21:37.707 –> 00:21:39.707
family can be is if you’re with your family.

00:21:39.867 –> 00:21:42.387
So every time you leave your family to go train at the dojo,

00:21:42.427 –> 00:21:45.947
you’re actually not doing the thing you’re trying to do. Right.

00:21:46.367 –> 00:21:50.767
So I’m not saying don’t. Right. Awesome. I’m not saying don’t train.

00:21:51.027 –> 00:21:55.647
What I’m saying is you have to make sure your training time fits the problems

00:21:55.647 –> 00:21:59.867
you’re going to have. because if your mantra is, I do this for my family,

00:22:00.047 –> 00:22:03.627
then every time you take your knife versus knife commando course,

00:22:03.767 –> 00:22:05.147
you’re not with your family.

00:22:05.247 –> 00:22:08.607
And if that is the actual goal, which often it isn’t, but if that is your actual

00:22:08.607 –> 00:22:10.747
goal, then this is counterintuitive.

00:22:10.987 –> 00:22:15.427
So you should make your training match. Like I’m, I’m almost 40. I’m 40 in January.

00:22:16.667 –> 00:22:20.427
I don’t, I have a daughter. I have a fiance. I have a business.

00:22:20.587 –> 00:22:22.967
Like I’m not, when I was 20, I could take everything. Like, Oh,

00:22:23.187 –> 00:22:27.527
what’s this African martial art? Sure. I’ll spend six hours learning this, whatever.

00:22:28.347 –> 00:22:33.707
I don’t have that time anymore. I have responsibilities. So I have to pick and

00:22:33.707 –> 00:22:37.907
choose what I’m learning in order to get the best bang for the buck for the problems I’m facing.

00:22:38.087 –> 00:22:44.087
And right now, as a almost 40 year old overweight dude, nobody’s messing with me. It’s pretty fine.

00:22:44.267 –> 00:22:46.547
So I just train to keep up for fitness, right?

00:22:46.887 –> 00:22:50.207
Boxing, do some weapons stuff, obviously. But I really

00:22:50.207 –> 00:22:52.927
would love people to make a list of

00:22:52.927 –> 00:22:55.747
why they want to train and that’s how you’re going to not get roped in

00:22:55.747 –> 00:22:59.167
by these these bs artists if you if

00:22:59.167 –> 00:23:02.287
you don’t stand for anything you fall for everything is the thing you don’t

00:23:02.287 –> 00:23:07.627
know what your training is for that anybody could hook you like i do bjj but

00:23:07.627 –> 00:23:11.387
when i do bjj everything we do i’m not i’m not coding into my brain unless i’m

00:23:11.387 –> 00:23:15.047
going for a test or whatever right i’m only using the stuff that i know would

00:23:15.047 –> 00:23:21.127
work in real life for me for my problem but if you have that yeah and if you have that lens,

00:23:21.467 –> 00:23:25.767
then you can take any art and you won’t build the bad habits that exist.

00:23:25.967 –> 00:23:27.287
And I think that’s really important.

00:23:27.507 –> 00:23:32.767
People just go to the class and then they outsource their problem solving to

00:23:32.767 –> 00:23:37.847
this instructor they’re paying as opposed to walking in with set goals of why they’re doing this.

00:23:38.267 –> 00:23:41.267
And if you walk in with set goals, you’re going to do much, much better.

00:23:42.145 –> 00:23:45.005
I couldn’t agree more. That’s a really good point. I know,

00:23:45.185 –> 00:23:49.825
and of course, I haven’t had the time to listen to all your podcasts, and I want to,

00:23:49.965 –> 00:23:53.725
and I’ve watched some of your videos, but you were talking about in your intro video,

00:23:53.745 –> 00:23:57.165
which I think you referenced earlier on your website, you were talking about

00:23:57.165 –> 00:24:04.405
the four areas that you can more expect violence to occur versus what they try

00:24:04.405 –> 00:24:06.125
to teach you in all of these schools.

00:24:06.905 –> 00:24:12.605
You said bars, if you were having an affair, and what were the other two?

00:24:13.705 –> 00:24:17.945
So I think this is kind of my general saying, right? But don’t go to places

00:24:17.945 –> 00:24:19.545
where people get their minds altered, right?

00:24:19.905 –> 00:24:23.705
That’s number one. So if you go to a drug house, your odds of violence are going

00:24:23.705 –> 00:24:26.325
to go to a bar. Your odds of violence are going up. It’s just, right?

00:24:26.725 –> 00:24:29.045
So don’t go to places where people get their minds altered.

00:24:29.505 –> 00:24:33.365
Number two is don’t get a job where you tell people no. Because if you get a

00:24:33.365 –> 00:24:36.385
job where you tell people no, some people aren’t going to like that. Yeah.

00:24:37.165 –> 00:24:41.905
Only sleep with the people you’re allowed to sleep with. So don’t like if you

00:24:41.905 –> 00:24:45.585
cheat on your spouse, that that could cause higher level of violence.

00:24:45.705 –> 00:24:48.485
Right. And those are, I think the three major, I know there’s a fourth one that’s

00:24:48.485 –> 00:24:50.945
not coming top of my head right now, but those three ones don’t,

00:24:50.945 –> 00:24:51.925
don’t get a job retail people.

00:24:52.085 –> 00:24:57.305
No. I wonder if Rory was, I wonder if Rory would say prison or jail.

00:24:59.865 –> 00:25:02.785
That’s very true. I think he would add that. And there’s lots of subsets,

00:25:02.865 –> 00:25:05.985
right? Like you get a job, the force professional, you’re going to run into force.

00:25:06.125 –> 00:25:08.985
But mostly like sleep with who you’re going to sleep with. Don’t,

00:25:08.985 –> 00:25:10.405
don’t break those agreements.

00:25:10.625 –> 00:25:14.465
Oh yeah. Also don’t join a violent organization and then betray that violent

00:25:14.465 –> 00:25:17.645
organization. So that’s the four. So number one, I knew it would come to me.

00:25:18.065 –> 00:25:20.745
Number one is don’t get a job. Retell the public. No. Right.

00:25:20.885 –> 00:25:24.685
Number two is don’t try not to go to places where people get their minds altered.

00:25:25.285 –> 00:25:28.785
Number three, sleep people you’re allowed to sleep with. Number four,

00:25:28.985 –> 00:25:33.085
don’t join the violent organization. And if you do join that organization, don’t betray them. Now,

00:25:33.971 –> 00:25:37.551
The caveat to this is those are the four ways you can definitely,

00:25:37.571 –> 00:25:41.531
you know, not, you’ll run into much less violence if you have those four categories.

00:25:42.031 –> 00:25:47.091
But like where people get their minds altered is also where all the funnest stuff happens, right?

00:25:47.211 –> 00:25:50.991
That’s concerts, that’s bars, that’s events, that’s the carnival.

00:25:51.291 –> 00:25:54.971
So I’m not saying these rules are, if you want to live in your basement and

00:25:54.971 –> 00:25:57.851
have a tactical hula hoop and say that no man will ever approach you,

00:25:57.951 –> 00:25:59.071
that’s cool, that’s your business.

00:25:59.571 –> 00:26:02.911
But we have to live in the world that we live in.

00:26:03.151 –> 00:26:07.011
And so just be aware. So when I say those four things, like I’m part of a violent

00:26:07.011 –> 00:26:10.871
organization. I fight people all the time at my gym. That’s a violent organization.

00:26:11.791 –> 00:26:15.431
I go to places where people get their minds altered because I have a life.

00:26:15.711 –> 00:26:19.451
It’s just in those spots, that’s when you want your situational awareness to

00:26:19.451 –> 00:26:21.411
kick in. That’s where you want to be paying more attention.

00:26:21.671 –> 00:26:26.831
So I’m not saying don’t – if you want no violence app, but you definitely just Amazon everything.

00:26:26.951 –> 00:26:29.991
Use food order apps. Don’t go to the grocery store, stay in your house.

00:26:30.231 –> 00:26:33.231
You’re fine. Yep. As long as you want to leave the house. And I was having that

00:26:33.231 –> 00:26:38.811
conversation with someone this last couple of weeks about this whole coronavirus thing.

00:26:38.931 –> 00:26:41.591
I’m like, they’re like, well, you can’t, you can’t prevent it.

00:26:41.651 –> 00:26:44.331
It’s impossible to prevent. And I’m like, that’s not entirely true.

00:26:44.671 –> 00:26:50.551
If everyone were to stay at home until it’s gone, that’s how you could avoid

00:26:50.551 –> 00:26:52.531
it. But that’s not very practical, right?

00:26:52.871 –> 00:26:54.951
And probably not even very feasible.

00:26:56.171 –> 00:26:59.551
And I agree. And that’s why I really like to point out that while these rules

00:26:59.551 –> 00:27:02.851
that I gave you are good rules, some aren’t feasible.

00:27:03.011 –> 00:27:06.291
Like you’re going to eventually go to your, even like, so everybody,

00:27:06.391 –> 00:27:09.091
I heard people say that, like, oh, I’m 50. I don’t go to bars.

00:27:09.231 –> 00:27:13.671
I’m like, cool. So if your son turned 18 or I guess 21 where you’re from,

00:27:13.871 –> 00:27:16.591
if your son turned 21, are you not going to go have a drink with him? Whoa.

00:27:17.131 –> 00:27:21.851
So you’re going to a bar. Again, don’t speak in absolute. That’s insane to me.

00:27:22.191 –> 00:27:25.931
Anytime, that should be a red flag to all the listeners. Anytime an instructor

00:27:25.931 –> 00:27:29.371
speaks an absolute about anything, they haven’t done that thing.

00:27:29.551 –> 00:27:33.211
The more experience you get with a subject, the more you realize there’s so

00:27:33.211 –> 00:27:37.171
many soft parts of it, and it makes it a little bit harder.

00:27:37.451 –> 00:27:41.211
Yeah. One of my favorite instructors that I’ve had the good fortune over the

00:27:41.211 –> 00:27:48.591
years to train under a few times, his saying is infamous, and it’s two words, and it’s, it depends.

00:27:49.871 –> 00:27:56.031
And people, people, people. Yeah, it is. And people don’t like that answer.

00:27:56.031 –> 00:28:01.951
But the reality is that’s the perfect answer because it’s spot on. It depends.

00:28:02.231 –> 00:28:06.411
You change one element of anything and it changes the whole outcome potentially.

00:28:06.711 –> 00:28:08.591
So it depends. Right.

00:28:09.206 –> 00:28:12.166
I agree. Ryan Hoover’s on my bucket list of people to go meet.

00:28:12.306 –> 00:28:15.326
I keep trying to get the hard ready, but the world keeps not letting me do it.

00:28:15.526 –> 00:28:20.086
Yeah, I think. And I think that that shows his level of experience in the field

00:28:20.086 –> 00:28:21.006
he’s talking about. Right.

00:28:21.806 –> 00:28:25.886
He’s he’s saying, like, it depends when anybody acts. OK, so like the thing

00:28:25.886 –> 00:28:28.806
that drives me insane is the one quick tip mentality.

00:28:29.266 –> 00:28:32.806
Right. So one quick tip for self-defense. If you do this, then you’re going

00:28:32.806 –> 00:28:37.126
to be fine. And that’s just not it’s they’re oversimplifying something that’s.

00:28:37.406 –> 00:28:41.226
Yeah. Violence is such a part of us. It’s so intrinsic.

00:28:41.606 –> 00:28:46.006
And you can have peaceable people snap and go on a shooting spree.

00:28:46.206 –> 00:28:51.506
You can have your grandmother took the wrong medication, and now she thinks

00:28:51.506 –> 00:28:53.426
everybody’s demons, and she’s whipping things at you.

00:28:53.886 –> 00:28:58.966
There’s just so many things that happen here that people don’t take into account.

00:28:59.166 –> 00:29:03.286
I remember I was at a concert. So I’m not advocating drug use to your listeners,

00:29:03.386 –> 00:29:04.646
but I do partake sometimes.

00:29:05.106 –> 00:29:08.186
And we were at a concert and my buddy took random

00:29:08.186 –> 00:29:11.186
things from some stranger which i do not do right and he

00:29:11.186 –> 00:29:14.786
had a really bad time and yeah he

00:29:14.786 –> 00:29:18.546
thought that we were like trying to bring him to the underworld and he was like

00:29:18.546 –> 00:29:22.106
fighting us tooth and nail oh my god this is the other thing that you have to

00:29:22.106 –> 00:29:25.766
understand when it comes to self-defense and this is where i think krav kind

00:29:25.766 –> 00:29:28.586
of pisses me off a little bit as a krav practitioner i’m going to pick on it

00:29:28.586 –> 00:29:31.706
a little bit yeah they have a very They have a very, like,

00:29:31.986 –> 00:29:34.786
I’d rather be judged by 12 than carried by six mentality.

00:29:35.866 –> 00:29:41.326
But if all of your techniques are how to end a human being, if grandma has dementia,

00:29:41.746 –> 00:29:43.346
she doesn’t deserve a throat pop, right?

00:29:43.446 –> 00:29:47.006
She doesn’t deserve like a neck crank or you have to have other skills.

00:29:47.286 –> 00:29:48.506
So people need to realize that

00:29:48.506 –> 00:29:53.206
violence isn’t always the monster in the alley who’s going to harm you.

00:29:53.326 –> 00:29:56.566
Sometimes it’s your autistic child, your friend who’s having a bad drunk reaction.

00:29:56.566 –> 00:30:02.006
And it may be your partner has mental health issues and they’re in a depressive cycle, right?

00:30:02.126 –> 00:30:06.306
Like there’s so many skills to this. We’re selling it as this, like,

00:30:07.199 –> 00:30:12.119
So statistically speaking, when you look at violence, 30% of violence done to

00:30:12.119 –> 00:30:13.459
other people is done by strangers.

00:30:13.739 –> 00:30:16.319
The other 70% is done by people known to the victim.

00:30:16.739 –> 00:30:22.819
So 30%, so everybody’s talking about this 30% that’s actually pretty unlikely.

00:30:22.819 –> 00:30:27.699
If you’re not being a general D-bag, like if you cut somebody off and don’t

00:30:27.699 –> 00:30:30.539
know how to apologize, then you’re going to get into a fight. That’s going to happen.

00:30:31.039 –> 00:30:35.479
But if you’re a regular, yeah, if you’re a regular, polite human being,

00:30:35.779 –> 00:30:39.019
you’re probably not going to get to a lot of shit if you’re outside what we

00:30:39.019 –> 00:30:42.339
say the magic demographic is. That’s the ages of 14 to 24.

00:30:42.639 –> 00:30:46.859
From the ages of 14 to 24, that’s where most people encounter most of their

00:30:46.859 –> 00:30:50.079
violence. Not all people. It does happen to kids. It does happen to elders.

00:30:50.379 –> 00:30:54.299
But the lion’s share of reported violence happens from 14 to 24.

00:30:55.259 –> 00:30:58.059
Outside of that, because you’re kind of doing it yourself, you’re done,

00:30:58.139 –> 00:31:01.319
you’re done going to the crazy places, you’re done taking big chances, usually.

00:31:01.639 –> 00:31:03.959
Some people don’t outgrow that ever, but most people do.

00:31:05.019 –> 00:31:08.359
When we’re looking at that, that’s 30%, right? That’s that, you know,

00:31:08.699 –> 00:31:12.939
two young bucks at the bar fighting over a girl or a drink or a stool or whatever

00:31:12.939 –> 00:31:13.879
they’re fighting over. Yep.

00:31:14.859 –> 00:31:17.899
Most violence, and this is, go ahead. No, just go ahead, sorry.

00:31:19.099 –> 00:31:23.019
That’s totally fine. I’ve been talking nonsense. up the the

00:31:23.019 –> 00:31:26.199
lion’s share of violence that’s 70 it comes

00:31:26.199 –> 00:31:29.519
from people that are known to you so it’s your partner it’s your father it’s

00:31:29.519 –> 00:31:32.859
your it’s that creepy person at work the the

00:31:32.859 –> 00:31:35.439
relationship is being built that’s how stalking happens that’s how

00:31:35.439 –> 00:31:38.159
all these things happen is that 70 of people that know you but

00:31:38.159 –> 00:31:41.679
nobody wants to talk about it because no right there’s there’s

00:31:41.679 –> 00:31:44.519
some quick answers so if if a guy approached you at the bar what

00:31:44.519 –> 00:31:47.239
do you do xyz done yep okay what if

00:31:47.239 –> 00:31:50.659
what if grandpa is molesting your son oh no

00:31:50.659 –> 00:31:54.019
xyz anymore but that’s violence right that’s

00:31:54.019 –> 00:31:56.939
the thing and that’s what that’s what i try to tackle in

00:31:56.939 –> 00:31:59.619
all of my stuff is like yes you need to

00:31:59.619 –> 00:32:02.979
focus on this and it’s cool that’s what put me that’s what put me in the seats

00:32:02.979 –> 00:32:06.959
right that’s the 30 percent of like let’s do knife defense that’s what gets

00:32:06.959 –> 00:32:10.999
people training but you have to talk about the reality of this and the reality

00:32:10.999 –> 00:32:16.239
is that you’re more likely to be victimized by somebody you know yeah that’s

00:32:16.239 –> 00:32:17.779
uncomfortable but it’s true.

00:32:17.939 –> 00:32:20.699
And every, we use the creepy uncle as a joke. I’m not trying to pick on uncles,

00:32:20.739 –> 00:32:22.599
but it’s a, it’s a trope, right?

00:32:22.739 –> 00:32:26.439
It’s, it’s so funny that you bring up the creepy uncle, because that’s our thing.

00:32:26.599 –> 00:32:33.379
Like the one quote unquote soft technique that Krav has is getting out of wrist grabs, right?

00:32:33.539 –> 00:32:37.639
You know, all of those, that’s always the scenario we say, okay,

00:32:37.759 –> 00:32:42.739
the one self soft technique that we have, you know, what if your drunk uncle

00:32:42.739 –> 00:32:44.379
grabs you, Here’s what you can do.

00:32:45.479 –> 00:32:51.399
And it’s been said time and time again. It’s so funny. So you must use that story too.

00:32:52.659 –> 00:32:56.579
Yeah, exactly. I have a drunk uncle who used to like to try to drive home drunk

00:32:56.579 –> 00:32:59.139
and we had altercations every single time he tried to do it.

00:32:59.279 –> 00:33:01.139
So I think we all have a drunk uncle.

00:33:01.299 –> 00:33:03.379
It’s just how it is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

00:33:03.868 –> 00:33:07.208
But yeah, so I think that when we’re talking about this stuff,

00:33:07.588 –> 00:33:09.468
I like to talk about the totality of it.

00:33:09.528 –> 00:33:13.828
And the problem is that that’s going back to Ryan Hooper’s thing. It depends.

00:33:14.108 –> 00:33:19.228
It’s so perfect is because it totally depends on who the person is,

00:33:19.408 –> 00:33:22.668
what the intent of the situation is, what tools are available,

00:33:22.688 –> 00:33:25.388
and what are their motivations and relationships to you?

00:33:25.828 –> 00:33:29.248
Because one of my biggest pet peeves in the industry, started going off a little

00:33:29.248 –> 00:33:35.388
rant, but I’m kind of known for that, I guess, is I on, and if you’ve done this, I’m sorry.

00:33:36.268 –> 00:33:43.488
Anybody that puts up a poster of, you know, counter domestic violence seminar, I hate that.

00:33:43.748 –> 00:33:50.448
It drives me insane because if you’re teaching them the 30% tactics for somebody

00:33:50.448 –> 00:33:55.408
that lives with them, all you’re doing is escalating the abuser’s ability to hurt that person.

00:33:55.408 –> 00:34:01.668
So if you’re not planning on leaving, then no training is going to help you

00:34:01.668 –> 00:34:06.168
in that situation. You have to leave that situation in order for the training to work.

00:34:06.268 –> 00:34:11.788
The only microcosm in a domestic abuse cycle that self-defense physical skills

00:34:11.788 –> 00:34:15.568
training works is if the person’s trying to prevent you from leaving.

00:34:15.928 –> 00:34:19.508
That’s the only time it makes sense. Because if you hurt that person and then

00:34:19.508 –> 00:34:23.188
stay in that house, the abuser doesn’t all of a sudden become timid.

00:34:23.308 –> 00:34:28.668
They’re like, oh, we’re playing by prison. rules now they escalate exactly and

00:34:28.668 –> 00:34:32.068
so whenever anybody’s like oh if you have a friend who’s in a domestic situation

00:34:32.068 –> 00:34:36.688
come here we’ll teach them some moves unless the next part of that is and then

00:34:36.688 –> 00:34:41.628
they leave right and they have a support structure to do that then all you’re doing is.

00:34:42.128 –> 00:34:45.848
You’re making that person’s you’re creating an environment for them to get hurt

00:34:45.848 –> 00:34:49.668
even worse and maybe to a level that they’re just not ready for and that’s that’s

00:34:49.668 –> 00:34:53.168
terrifying to me and so So one of my big pet peeves in this industry is people

00:34:53.168 –> 00:34:55.308
selling like how to stop domestic violence.

00:34:55.793 –> 00:34:59.993
There’s no there’s no crab answer for that. And that’s what crab was designed for.

00:35:00.173 –> 00:35:04.233
Right. So you’re trying to put this crap into a box that it does not fit it.

00:35:04.613 –> 00:35:08.713
It’s reckless. Well, Krav’s like, at least in my experience with it,

00:35:09.113 –> 00:35:11.213
Krav is like a lot of other arts.

00:35:11.773 –> 00:35:17.773
You know, skills, whatever you’re being taught, is that they spend very little

00:35:17.773 –> 00:35:21.773
time focusing on the majority of what especially, let’s say,

00:35:21.953 –> 00:35:23.453
women are going to be faced against.

00:35:23.453 –> 00:35:27.313
Like you said, you know, someone, you know, or someone you’re associated with

00:35:27.313 –> 00:35:33.733
versus the guy in the all black with the stocking cap on or the stocking pulled

00:35:33.733 –> 00:35:37.833
over his face, you know, jumping out behind the bushes or pulling up.

00:35:37.913 –> 00:35:41.333
You know, I can’t tell you how many seminars where somebody would allow their

00:35:41.333 –> 00:35:46.653
windowless white painter’s van to be pulled out back behind the school.

00:35:46.933 –> 00:35:51.193
And then, you know, you put various female students and have them fight their

00:35:51.193 –> 00:35:56.413
way out. OK, the chances of that, yeah, it could happen. And we know going to

00:35:56.413 –> 00:35:59.633
location B is worse than location A, all of that stuff.

00:35:59.993 –> 00:36:03.013
But what are they more than likely going to come up against?

00:36:03.633 –> 00:36:08.393
And so I do have a sidebar note because you were talking about some statistics

00:36:08.393 –> 00:36:10.613
with 14 to 24-year-olds a minimum ago.

00:36:10.693 –> 00:36:14.593
And I wanted to tell you, and I’m going to credit Beverly Baker with the Metropolitan

00:36:14.593 –> 00:36:17.473
Finishing School, which I think you also know.

00:36:17.693 –> 00:36:20.993
It seems like we all know each other in the community to some degree.

00:36:20.993 –> 00:36:24.973
And I talked to her several

00:36:24.973 –> 00:36:29.413
weeks ago and one of the things I learned about her is she went through and

00:36:29.413 –> 00:36:34.593
got certified in the Understanding Violence course from Emory and then when

00:36:34.593 –> 00:36:39.513
you and I started to talk about doing this I noticed you had it too so I just

00:36:39.513 –> 00:36:43.853
finished week two today earlier so yeah, yeah.

00:36:44.953 –> 00:36:49.573
I love that course so if I’m correct and Beverly will definitely correct me

00:36:49.573 –> 00:36:53.053
if I’m not So she, I took that course a long time ago. Sure.

00:36:53.253 –> 00:36:56.833
She then thought of my website and was like, I want to take this course. Yeah. It’s worth it.

00:36:56.913 –> 00:37:01.533
And I, and I do think it’s worth it because from, if I remember,

00:37:01.613 –> 00:37:02.573
it was years ago, I took it.

00:37:03.033 –> 00:37:07.933
It was very interesting because I was the, it’s, Emory University is a very,

00:37:08.093 –> 00:37:10.453
and again, I don’t want to get political, but I’m more on the left side of things.

00:37:10.733 –> 00:37:11.533
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

00:37:12.070 –> 00:37:18.170
And I’m not right wing at all, but I am when it comes to self-protection,

00:37:18.490 –> 00:37:20.230
right? So I’m kind of in the middle when it comes to that.

00:37:20.430 –> 00:37:24.470
And it was fun for me because it was a bunch of, I actually thought I was going

00:37:24.470 –> 00:37:25.730
to fail the course, to be honest.

00:37:25.970 –> 00:37:29.330
So it was, they have like discussion boards you’re supposed to talk on with people.

00:37:29.730 –> 00:37:33.810
And I was like counterintuitive guy. So they’re like, what about this?

00:37:33.890 –> 00:37:35.330
And oh my God, I’m like, well, that’s not true.

00:37:35.470 –> 00:37:40.150
This, this, this. And I was like taking more of a hard line kind of conservative stance, I would say.

00:37:40.510 –> 00:37:44.410
And I was arguing, arguing, debating. So we weren’t arguing. I wasn’t mad.

00:37:44.650 –> 00:37:47.510
We were, I was debating with the instructors and I’m like, well,

00:37:47.550 –> 00:37:48.630
they’re going to fail me for sure.

00:37:49.090 –> 00:37:51.430
And they were like, no, we actually love this because, you know,

00:37:51.530 –> 00:37:54.630
we normally get people who are like-minded. It’s weird who took this class.

00:37:54.970 –> 00:37:58.630
And it just had lots of really important stuff. Like, I know you haven’t probably

00:37:58.630 –> 00:38:02.230
got there yet, but like when they talk about Africa and using sex as a weapon,

00:38:02.370 –> 00:38:04.210
like that was pretty mind-opening for me.

00:38:04.390 –> 00:38:07.410
I didn’t know that was a thing. It makes sense that it is. But yeah,

00:38:07.430 –> 00:38:09.530
I highly recommend that course to anybody out there.

00:38:10.150 –> 00:38:14.210
It’s great. If you want to get a certificate, it’s like, what, $49?

00:38:14.450 –> 00:38:18.130
But you can actually audit it for free, so you can go listen to everything,

00:38:18.390 –> 00:38:20.690
learn everything for free if you’re so inclined.

00:38:20.850 –> 00:38:24.670
But I’m in the midst of it, and it’s great, and I’m glad I discovered it.

00:38:24.850 –> 00:38:28.170
It’s funny. I guess Beverly got it from you, and I’ve got it from Beverly.

00:38:28.330 –> 00:38:30.850
So who knows who’s going to be next? That’ll be kind of cool.

00:38:31.610 –> 00:38:35.190
So back on track, I know we’ve kind of talked about it indirectly,

00:38:35.190 –> 00:38:38.270
but that was one of the things that I wanted to talk to you about today,

00:38:38.310 –> 00:38:44.350
too, from your perspective, having been stabbed, having been in the security industry and teaching.

00:38:44.610 –> 00:38:47.390
And like I said, some of the things we’ve already been talking about indirectly,

00:38:47.390 –> 00:38:53.530
what are some of the fallacies that people should be aware of relative to finding

00:38:53.530 –> 00:38:56.790
or taking self-defense training for themselves today?

00:38:57.890 –> 00:39:01.490
So I covered a ton of this in the course. I’m sure we’re going to talk about

00:39:01.490 –> 00:39:04.790
it later, like you said. Yeah, yeah. Get too into it right now. It’s coming up.

00:39:06.090 –> 00:39:09.770
Okay. I think the myths in the industry are…

00:39:10.422 –> 00:39:13.442
Number one, I already said it’s a 70 versus 30, and that changes.

00:39:13.442 –> 00:39:14.742
It depends on changes, right?

00:39:14.822 –> 00:39:18.862
If you look at trafficking, it goes to 80% and 20%, but most of the violence

00:39:18.862 –> 00:39:22.802
that happens to people, the victim knows the perpetrator.

00:39:22.922 –> 00:39:26.282
And so this can be on gang violence, it could be whatever, but there’s some

00:39:26.282 –> 00:39:27.862
kind of relationship that’s built.

00:39:28.042 –> 00:39:32.582
And the stranger danger, while it does happen, it happens way less than the

00:39:32.582 –> 00:39:36.342
marketing is going to tell you, and way less than Hollywood tells you,

00:39:36.362 –> 00:39:39.202
because Hollywood likes to sensationalize things. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

00:39:40.102 –> 00:39:43.702
Yeah, of course. And if they didn’t, you wouldn’t watch it. That’s how it works.

00:39:43.782 –> 00:39:45.882
But I start all my seminars off.

00:39:46.042 –> 00:39:49.962
When I used to be a traveling instructor before COVID blocked me in Canada,

00:39:50.182 –> 00:39:55.182
when I used to travel, I would start a lot of seminars with a very simple question, right?

00:39:55.222 –> 00:39:57.902
What do you think happens more often? Serial killers or bar fights?

00:39:58.522 –> 00:40:00.722
And everybody looks at me. I’m like, this is not a trick question.

00:40:01.102 –> 00:40:05.522
And they’re like, bar fights? Agreed. They happen way more than serial killers all the time.

00:40:06.182 –> 00:40:09.202
What do people talk about? Serial killers or bar fights? Like,

00:40:09.322 –> 00:40:14.162
well, serial killers. I’m like, yes, because humans like to hear the exceptions, not what’s normal.

00:40:14.862 –> 00:40:18.462
That’s the problem with the industry today is they’re always talking about the

00:40:18.462 –> 00:40:22.282
sensationalization stuff. They’re not talking about the stuff you’re going to run into.

00:40:22.622 –> 00:40:28.022
The jerk and lie, the creeper off a Tinder that you met that’s stalking you

00:40:28.022 –> 00:40:30.502
now. They don’t talk about that stuff. Normal. That happens to everybody.

00:40:30.702 –> 00:40:32.902
So why? Who’s going to come to a class on that?

00:40:33.202 –> 00:40:36.862
They want to talk about the, you know, night versus night for how to stop a

00:40:36.862 –> 00:40:39.942
serial killer or et cetera, et cetera. And that’s a problem.

00:40:40.182 –> 00:40:41.902
So the 70, 30 is super important.

00:40:42.522 –> 00:40:46.462
Number two, which is a myth.

00:40:46.622 –> 00:40:51.342
The quote is, or the stat is around a lot and people keep regurgitating it,

00:40:51.402 –> 00:40:54.222
but I have a bigger understanding of it now because I needed to know where that

00:40:54.222 –> 00:40:59.402
came from is 40%, 40% of self-defense encounters involve multiple people.

00:41:00.362 –> 00:41:04.882
That’s insane because almost nobody’s training for multiple opponents in their

00:41:04.882 –> 00:41:10.042
self-defense courses but 40 of the time there’s multiple people involved in

00:41:10.042 –> 00:41:14.002
it now when i say multiple people involved i don’t mean multiple attackers i

00:41:14.002 –> 00:41:16.982
mean it might be you and your family versus somebody so there’s there’s more

00:41:16.982 –> 00:41:20.182
than you know you versus them yeah and more to think about.

00:41:21.142 –> 00:41:23.882
Yes i need to think that people don’t talk about and i mean he’s

00:41:23.882 –> 00:41:27.162
ryan hoover again i saw one he has a really good gun disarm

00:41:27.162 –> 00:41:31.322
video i think he did it with a film crew and he’s

00:41:31.322 –> 00:41:34.022
showing like okay this is the gun disarm we use you give a person here obviously you

00:41:34.022 –> 00:41:37.162
want to go this way if you have two people you have to move this person first and like that’s

00:41:37.162 –> 00:41:40.522
the stuff that needs to be out there you don’t need a new gun disarm you have

00:41:40.522 –> 00:41:44.902
a workable gun disarm use it but now you need to you need to be like okay what

00:41:44.902 –> 00:41:47.742
if your friends are beside you what if you’re in the middle what are the positions

00:41:47.742 –> 00:41:53.042
and this is what people i think do incorrectly in the self-defense industry

00:41:53.042 –> 00:41:54.342
is They want the next thing.

00:41:54.682 –> 00:42:00.922
Chad Lyman of C of code for, she says it very well. He says, do a little, a lot.

00:42:01.042 –> 00:42:05.582
So train a few things at a lot of different multiple ways. And I can’t,

00:42:05.582 –> 00:42:08.302
I can’t stress how much I agree with that. So number two is,

00:42:08.938 –> 00:42:13.118
There’s going to be more people. 30% of the time, at least in Canada,

00:42:13.318 –> 00:42:17.018
U.S., and Australia, and Europe, because I only did research on the first world.

00:42:17.138 –> 00:42:17.978
I didn’t do any other countries.

00:42:18.378 –> 00:42:22.698
30% of the time, there’s more than one attacker attacking you, right?

00:42:22.998 –> 00:42:27.658
And that goes up when it comes to robbery. In robbery, it’s very likely over

00:42:27.658 –> 00:42:30.698
50% of the time there’s more than one person involved in a robbery.

00:42:30.858 –> 00:42:32.698
Especially in home invasions, yeah.

00:42:33.578 –> 00:42:36.918
Exactly. If you’re looking at home invasions, you think you’re like sparring

00:42:36.918 –> 00:42:38.838
one-on-one mentality is going to help you there.

00:42:38.938 –> 00:42:42.278
It may not right because people are

00:42:42.278 –> 00:42:45.498
looking at that why why are they not looking at it because it’s hard to

00:42:45.498 –> 00:42:48.298
teach it’s hard to teach how to deal

00:42:48.298 –> 00:42:53.578
with multiple people because one person one versus one extra person is not twice

00:42:53.578 –> 00:42:57.758
as hard it’s a compounding problem so a second person becomes three times as

00:42:57.758 –> 00:43:02.378
hard a third person becomes four times as hard right so it it doesn’t just go

00:43:02.378 –> 00:43:04.298
up by the number it becomes harder

00:43:04.298 –> 00:43:07.358
and harder and harder because you can’t track them you can’t do stuff.

00:43:07.498 –> 00:43:10.938
That’s why when I teach classes, because I’m so aware of this,

00:43:11.138 –> 00:43:13.258
I break violence into three categories, not two.

00:43:13.478 –> 00:43:17.078
So I still use the social, asocial stuff that I’m sure your listeners are aware of.

00:43:17.518 –> 00:43:24.498
Social being hierarchy stuff, predatory or asocial being stuff for resources or love of what they do.

00:43:24.678 –> 00:43:27.918
I also add group violence into it. So I say there’s three categories.

00:43:28.118 –> 00:43:30.898
There’s social violence, group violence, and predatory violence,

00:43:30.978 –> 00:43:36.218
because people don’t talk about the group stuff, because, again, it’s hard to explain.

00:43:37.758 –> 00:43:41.798
There’s an ego. I’m not saying every instructor, so please don’t at me, everybody.

00:43:41.998 –> 00:43:47.178
But a lot of instructors have an ego that they want to be able to answer everything.

00:43:47.338 –> 00:43:48.758
They want to be able to answer every question.

00:43:49.258 –> 00:43:52.918
And so they just don’t broach the topics that are icky. And that’s where an

00:43:52.918 –> 00:43:55.018
it depends answer makes a lot of sense.

00:43:55.278 –> 00:43:57.978
And that’s why there are instructors out there like that, Hoover being,

00:43:58.118 –> 00:44:01.758
I think, one of the foremost of them who really look at the totality of the

00:44:01.758 –> 00:44:05.578
situation because stuff is always going to change. Does a flying armbar work? Sometimes.

00:44:05.858 –> 00:44:08.378
It might. It might not. Who knows? It depends. Yeah. So.

00:44:08.992 –> 00:44:16.212
Go ahead. Yeah. No, I think you make excellent points because the 70% is seldom

00:44:16.212 –> 00:44:19.112
addressed in self-defense training.

00:44:19.532 –> 00:44:25.532
And, you know, that’s what the 70% represents, right? Are those situations that

00:44:25.532 –> 00:44:27.412
we’re more likely to encounter.

00:44:27.592 –> 00:44:31.192
So that’s first. And, you know, the other thoughts that I have on your second

00:44:31.192 –> 00:44:36.292
point about not training for group is I have to give at least the training that

00:44:36.292 –> 00:44:40.572
I’ve received. I have to give some of that credit in Krav because we did train

00:44:40.572 –> 00:44:42.292
against multiple actors.

00:44:42.492 –> 00:44:45.212
We did do drills against multiple attackers.

00:44:45.432 –> 00:44:49.612
And the other part of that, because we’ve talked a lot about it across our podcast

00:44:49.612 –> 00:44:55.212
here and a lot of folks talking about situational awareness and situational

00:44:55.212 –> 00:44:58.192
awareness not only applies pre-physically.

00:44:58.212 –> 00:45:05.552
Engagement or whatever, but there’s a lot of need and merit for applying situational

00:45:05.552 –> 00:45:10.092
awareness when you’re engaged and fighting that tunnel vision and staying aware

00:45:10.092 –> 00:45:12.172
of other opponents and other people coming in.

00:45:12.312 –> 00:45:15.372
I mean, they even teach that in gun training, right?

00:45:15.572 –> 00:45:20.452
But certainly in that fisticuffs scenario, if that’s where you find yourself,

00:45:20.712 –> 00:45:22.672
you need to stay aware at all times.

00:45:23.352 –> 00:45:26.912
Well, yeah, and that’s, I 100% agree that, and I have to agree that Krav Maga

00:45:26.912 –> 00:45:31.132
does do a very good job of, of like, you know, scanning the environment,

00:45:31.332 –> 00:45:33.612
looking for other opponents. They do, they do a great job.

00:45:33.872 –> 00:45:36.812
We still do a drill. It was called stress test back in the day.

00:45:36.872 –> 00:45:38.392
I don’t know what they call it now, but three opponents, right?

00:45:38.532 –> 00:45:40.032
Coming at you, get back to you, do whatever.

00:45:40.272 –> 00:45:44.652
I, I think that’s really important. And a lot, not a lot of places other than crab have that.

00:45:44.832 –> 00:45:48.332
Yeah. That is, it’s necessary needed. And I love your point,

00:45:48.532 –> 00:45:51.532
the way you phrase it is situational awareness is needed before and during,

00:45:51.672 –> 00:45:53.152
and also after the encounter. Absolutely.

00:45:53.572 –> 00:45:56.052
What about retaliation? What about their friends coming at you?

00:45:56.052 –> 00:45:59.952
These are things that people don’t talk about. They only talk about the,

00:46:00.584 –> 00:46:03.264
the fight. They don’t talk about the, and I don’t want to say they don’t,

00:46:03.324 –> 00:46:06.484
cause there are people that do, but the majority of people aren’t talking about

00:46:06.484 –> 00:46:08.544
pre, during and post contact.

00:46:08.784 –> 00:46:11.924
They’re only talking about contact and that’s, there’s a problem there.

00:46:12.004 –> 00:46:15.344
Cause if you’re already fighting, like you’ve made the mistakes, right? Most likely.

00:46:15.584 –> 00:46:18.044
Yep. A lot of stuff’s gone wrong to get you to that point.

00:46:19.224 –> 00:46:24.164
Exactly. I think so. What? I was just going to say, talking about the post,

00:46:24.184 –> 00:46:27.624
you make a really good point about the ending of it too, and still remaining

00:46:27.624 –> 00:46:31.624
situationally aware. And I watched a video.

00:46:31.924 –> 00:46:35.004
It’s almost some of these videos, people are like, why do you watch this stuff?

00:46:35.144 –> 00:46:37.604
It’s like, because I want to know what things are really like.

00:46:37.704 –> 00:46:41.064
And so I watch a lot of horrific stuff that most people don’t watch,

00:46:41.144 –> 00:46:42.524
but some should probably.

00:46:42.804 –> 00:46:48.644
But I watched, it appeared to be a verbal altercation. And it clearly was not

00:46:48.644 –> 00:46:53.384
stateside, but it appeared to be a verbal altercation. They weren’t bowing up

00:46:53.384 –> 00:46:54.484
on each other necessarily.

00:46:54.844 –> 00:46:59.224
They, it didn’t appear that they were yelling. They certainly weren’t balling

00:46:59.224 –> 00:47:00.744
up their fist and going to that point.

00:47:00.904 –> 00:47:04.844
But one gentleman, I guess, turned around and started walking down the road

00:47:04.844 –> 00:47:11.004
one direction. The other gentleman went and got in his car, did a UE in the middle of the road.

00:47:11.464 –> 00:47:15.764
And it’s not funny, but it is because people just don’t expect this kind of

00:47:15.764 –> 00:47:18.304
stuff. Talk about post situational awareness.

00:47:18.824 –> 00:47:23.444
And the guy just drove down the road and headed straight for him and ran him

00:47:23.444 –> 00:47:27.824
over, knocked him off into the bushes. And then I think he wound up stabbed

00:47:27.824 –> 00:47:31.164
getting out of the car and stabbing the guy in the chest, too. But I didn’t.

00:47:31.564 –> 00:47:35.964
The focus was him just making a beeline for him in the car.

00:47:36.104 –> 00:47:41.884
And the point was the fight’s not over until you’re safe and home or the person

00:47:41.884 –> 00:47:46.084
that’s after you can’t find you anymore. And so you need to be aware.

00:47:46.264 –> 00:47:49.664
And just because you walk away doesn’t mean the fight’s over.

00:47:49.924 –> 00:47:55.164
So having seen that example recently is what made it pop into my mind.

00:47:55.864 –> 00:47:59.524
This is the craziest thing. I agree 100% with that.

00:47:59.704 –> 00:48:02.584
So I have a little matrix I like to tell people.

00:48:02.724 –> 00:48:08.284
So the way I look at aftermath of violence is immediate and then short-term

00:48:08.284 –> 00:48:09.364
goals, long-term goals.

00:48:09.664 –> 00:48:15.364
So immediate is get safe. So like you said, I have been the person that fought

00:48:15.364 –> 00:48:18.404
in a busy intersection because the bar I worked at for a pretty long time,

00:48:18.564 –> 00:48:22.524
there was a big gang fight in an intersection of whatever busiest road in Edmonton.

00:48:22.764 –> 00:48:26.684
So we’re like punching and people are driving around us. And so we hit my cars,

00:48:26.804 –> 00:48:28.504
right? Luckily, I was looking around.

00:48:28.844 –> 00:48:32.184
I’ve always been really big on moving my head around. Also, I have,

00:48:32.324 –> 00:48:34.144
you probably know this, I have a little bit of ADHD.

00:48:34.604 –> 00:48:39.584
And that’s kind of a superpower in self-defense because I don’t focus too much

00:48:39.584 –> 00:48:40.824
on something. I’m always looking around.

00:48:41.084 –> 00:48:42.604
I’ve actually, I think I, I

00:48:42.604 –> 00:48:46.064
think I saved our bar probably thousands of dollars in replacement radios.

00:48:46.144 –> 00:48:50.624
When they drop, I grab them. but when we’re in those situations,

00:48:50.644 –> 00:48:53.224
I’ve seen so many people win a fight and then lose the fight,

00:48:53.384 –> 00:48:55.344
they wouldn’t encounterably lose the battle because.

00:48:56.173 –> 00:48:59.253
So first thing I say is get safe. Next thing is check for injury.

00:48:59.593 –> 00:49:03.433
So I was stabbed. No, I was stabbed. I’ve lost. Two of my friends have died

00:49:03.433 –> 00:49:06.233
in front of my eyes because they were stabbed.

00:49:06.453 –> 00:49:09.393
Didn’t know it. So one guy got stabbed in the back three times, collapsed his lung.

00:49:09.733 –> 00:49:12.913
His last, the last thing I said to him was making fun of him for his cardio

00:49:12.913 –> 00:49:15.833
being out of shape because he was panting and we should have looked for injuries.

00:49:16.373 –> 00:49:19.013
One of my friends got stabbed through the neck and chased the guy.

00:49:19.113 –> 00:49:21.073
We didn’t see the stab. He ran himself dead like a deer.

00:49:21.673 –> 00:49:24.853
So it’s important. First you got to get safe. Then you got to check for injuries.

00:49:24.993 –> 00:49:27.113
That’s the next, It’s the absolute next thing you have to do.

00:49:27.233 –> 00:49:30.813
Great point. And then after that, you need to report it to somebody.

00:49:31.113 –> 00:49:35.273
And when I say report, it’s police right now are having a very bad time.

00:49:35.393 –> 00:49:37.613
And I’m not anti-police. I never have been.

00:49:39.173 –> 00:49:43.053
When people report, when I say report, they say I mean to the police.

00:49:43.193 –> 00:49:46.473
But we’re using the extreme example here. I loaded this with like big stat.

00:49:46.653 –> 00:49:48.853
But maybe report just means tell HR.

00:49:49.313 –> 00:49:53.293
Maybe report just means tell your mother that your uncle was weird.

00:49:53.553 –> 00:49:59.213
This is where people lose it. So the immediate goals are get safe,

00:49:59.653 –> 00:50:01.413
check for injuries, report.

00:50:01.633 –> 00:50:05.053
Now, you can tell the police for sure. If you’re in a country you don’t trust

00:50:05.053 –> 00:50:06.533
the police, tell whomever you’re with.

00:50:06.593 –> 00:50:10.053
You can tell the person who’s in charge of your family.

00:50:10.193 –> 00:50:13.673
It doesn’t matter. But you need to tell somebody because when you don’t tell

00:50:13.673 –> 00:50:18.813
people, the instant – and unfortunately we live in very distrustful – people are very distrustful.

00:50:18.993 –> 00:50:23.113
If you tell somebody something after the fact very far down the road,

00:50:23.293 –> 00:50:24.633
they tend to not believe you.

00:50:25.093 –> 00:50:29.253
And if you had something really horrible happen to you, and the first thing

00:50:29.253 –> 00:50:32.913
you run into is somebody not believing you, the odds of you reporting it again are low.

00:50:33.093 –> 00:50:35.453
You’re not going to want to do it, right? Because you’ve had a horrible thing

00:50:35.453 –> 00:50:39.693
happen to you that you went to tell somebody, and then they said you were a liar.

00:50:39.813 –> 00:50:42.673
And so now you’re like, oh, I got hurt, but also nobody believes me.

00:50:42.933 –> 00:50:44.573
That’s going to put you in a bad spot.

00:50:45.453 –> 00:50:51.093
But if you don’t report the thing that’s happening, it allows the person to do that thing again.

00:50:51.733 –> 00:50:57.193
So if when predators choose their victims, they do something called grooming.

00:50:57.433 –> 00:51:01.093
So they check to see which kids are, if these kids or women or men,

00:51:01.173 –> 00:51:02.793
it doesn’t matter. Everybody gets predated on.

00:51:03.073 –> 00:51:07.173
But they’re picking people that are outspoken. There are people that don’t have

00:51:07.173 –> 00:51:10.313
good relationships with their families, people that don’t have a support structure, right?

00:51:10.513 –> 00:51:15.193
So honestly, the best self-defense advice out there is have a support structure

00:51:15.193 –> 00:51:17.413
of people that believe and trust you.

00:51:17.413 –> 00:51:22.253
Because the odds of you getting selected in that 70% where the person’s building

00:51:22.253 –> 00:51:26.393
a relationship is lower if your mother calls you every day and you can’t go

00:51:26.393 –> 00:51:28.193
miss it, right? They’re going to get caught.

00:51:29.053 –> 00:51:31.973
So you need to report it. So that’s the short-term goals. And there’s like,

00:51:32.073 –> 00:51:33.093
sorry, that’s like the immediate.

00:51:33.273 –> 00:51:37.053
And then I have a short-term goals and long-term goals. And I look at it from three points.

00:51:37.193 –> 00:51:39.793
I look at it physically, psychologically, and then culturally,

00:51:39.953 –> 00:51:44.153
culturally being the environment you’re in. So, you know, you might have to go to court.

00:51:44.957 –> 00:51:47.497
You might have to, you might run into people that don’t believe you.

00:51:47.597 –> 00:51:49.497
And all these things aren’t really addressed, right?

00:51:49.837 –> 00:51:53.457
People talk like an after-action pat-down. People talk about,

00:51:53.537 –> 00:51:58.597
but they won’t talk about like, you know, maybe your grandmother doesn’t believe

00:51:58.597 –> 00:51:59.497
you were sexually assaulted.

00:51:59.757 –> 00:52:03.057
She just doesn’t. And like that, you have to live with that now. And that sucks.

00:52:03.197 –> 00:52:08.937
But if people don’t tell you that’s going to happen, knowledge is the death of fear, right?

00:52:09.037 –> 00:52:12.597
So if you know that’s going to happen, then you’re not going to be affected

00:52:12.597 –> 00:52:16.577
by it as much when it does happen. And these are icky things to talk about,

00:52:16.717 –> 00:52:19.137
but they need to be talked about if you’re really teaching self-defense.

00:52:19.397 –> 00:52:21.337
If you’re teaching martial arts, I don’t give a shit. Don’t.

00:52:21.477 –> 00:52:24.097
It doesn’t matter. Count to 20 in Japanese. I don’t care.

00:52:24.577 –> 00:52:28.897
If you’re teaching self-defense and you’re not talking about the icky aftermath

00:52:28.897 –> 00:52:32.457
as uncomfortable as it is, I don’t think you should be promoting the self-defense.

00:52:32.617 –> 00:52:35.397
You should be promoting it as martial arts or combatives or whatever.

00:52:35.397 –> 00:52:37.757
And I think that’s a really good distinction.

00:52:38.437 –> 00:52:42.517
And that’s not to poo-poo martial arts. Martial arts have been around for a

00:52:42.517 –> 00:52:46.457
really long time, and they have a tremendous number of benefits,

00:52:46.797 –> 00:52:49.437
especially for children, but adults alike.

00:52:49.597 –> 00:52:55.497
But if you’re training in pure martial art, you’re likely not training for self-defense

00:52:55.497 –> 00:52:57.897
or at least realistic self-defense.

00:52:58.557 –> 00:53:02.157
I agree. Go ahead. I agree.

00:53:02.457 –> 00:53:06.217
And yeah, I don’t want to sound like I’m pooing on traditional martial arts. I’m not, right?

00:53:06.517 –> 00:53:11.657
It builds self-confidence and leadership skills. It’s amazing. Discipline. Yeah.

00:53:12.177 –> 00:53:15.637
Yeah. But it just should not be sold as reality-based. Yeah.

00:53:16.137 –> 00:53:21.517
I couldn’t agree more. Going back to your number two step is checking for injuries.

00:53:21.637 –> 00:53:24.817
You know, that’s a fantastic point. And so is reporting the incident.

00:53:25.037 –> 00:53:28.837
That’s something that doesn’t get talked about any at all. But just going back

00:53:28.837 –> 00:53:33.157
to checking for injuries, you know, with my background in history,

00:53:33.437 –> 00:53:38.277
you know, that’s big on my list and you may or may not have seen it across my podcast.

00:53:38.557 –> 00:53:43.757
You know, we talk about basic trauma care and not even in self-defense situations

00:53:43.757 –> 00:53:48.137
necessarily. But, you know, severe bleeding hemorrhaging is the number one cause

00:53:48.137 –> 00:53:50.857
of preventable deaths in trauma cases.

00:53:51.337 –> 00:53:55.137
So just learning, you know, and basic first aid isn’t enough,

00:53:55.277 –> 00:54:00.397
but just learning some basic trauma, especially when you’re bouncing bars, right?

00:54:00.597 –> 00:54:04.297
Just learning some basic trauma, how to apply a tourniquet, whatever is,

00:54:04.777 –> 00:54:07.597
even if you’re not a fighter, you’re a lover, not a fighter,

00:54:07.857 –> 00:54:12.757
you’re a pacifist, hippie, whatever, you know, you equate that all to, right?

00:54:12.997 –> 00:54:16.617
There’s still an opportunity for you to learn basic trauma and be able to help

00:54:16.617 –> 00:54:20.577
in that regard or be able to patch yourself up if things really are bad.

00:54:20.957 –> 00:54:24.297
Well, exactly. Right. And so again, depending on where you live, but.

00:54:25.197 –> 00:54:28.897
EMS, emergency medical services, the ambulance can get to you within 15 minutes.

00:54:29.077 –> 00:54:31.257
It’s shocking what you can survive. It is shocking.

00:54:31.597 –> 00:54:36.797
So another thing that people don’t train, right, is, hey, can you unlock your

00:54:36.797 –> 00:54:38.077
phone while your hands are shaking?

00:54:38.457 –> 00:54:42.757
Because if you can’t activate your phone because adrenaline is the vasoconstrictor

00:54:42.757 –> 00:54:46.957
of adrenaline is making your hands shake, then you can’t even call EMS for yourself.

00:54:47.137 –> 00:54:50.797
Or do you at least know like iPhones, I think, if you hit the home button five

00:54:50.797 –> 00:54:55.277
times, it calls 911 immediately. but there’s lots of really cool things that

00:54:55.277 –> 00:54:56.977
people don’t add to their self adventure.

00:54:57.017 –> 00:55:01.517
We do a drill where we just destroy the people. We make them run around back and forth and whatever.

00:55:01.997 –> 00:55:05.577
So we start the drill. We start the drill with, we need your phone on airplane

00:55:05.577 –> 00:55:09.977
mode and we want you to lock it and we’re going to put it wherever you normally put it on your body.

00:55:10.117 –> 00:55:12.477
So then we train, we train, we train, we run, we’re pushups,

00:55:12.597 –> 00:55:14.137
burpees, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit.

00:55:22.497 –> 00:55:25.357
That these are these things that people think like

00:55:25.357 –> 00:55:28.057
i hear it all the time oh i’ll just call 911 or oh i’ll just

00:55:28.057 –> 00:55:31.257
call the police oh you think when you’re so scared

00:55:31.257 –> 00:55:34.177
that your hands are shaking you like a ghost you can

00:55:34.177 –> 00:55:36.877
just activate complex motor skills no this needs to

00:55:36.877 –> 00:55:39.697
be trained into you right and it only

00:55:39.697 –> 00:55:42.457
takes three or four times go for a job go for a run

00:55:42.457 –> 00:55:45.637
run sprints or hills or whatever your anaerobic cardio

00:55:45.637 –> 00:55:48.437
is and then just try to use your phone and

00:55:48.437 –> 00:55:51.177
see how hard it becomes right and that these are

00:55:51.177 –> 00:55:54.037
the little things that people take for granted they take for granted they

00:55:54.037 –> 00:55:57.157
just they think that they’re gonna have access

00:55:57.157 –> 00:55:59.737
to this thing right oh uh we were just hiking in the

00:55:59.737 –> 00:56:02.677
mountains and i have a bad ankle right now my ankle i

00:56:02.677 –> 00:56:05.577
was i got drunk and trying to show my daughter a skateboard trick

00:56:05.577 –> 00:56:08.637
at 40 and it didn’t work out very well so my ankle my

00:56:08.637 –> 00:56:11.617
ankle is spraith right now and so we’re climbing we’re climbing

00:56:11.617 –> 00:56:14.317
the mountains i’m like oh my ankle hurts and i came well what are we gonna do i’m

00:56:14.317 –> 00:56:17.077
like well i brought an ankle brace with me uh but also like

00:56:17.077 –> 00:56:19.757
we have to figure this out like how long would it take for a team to get

00:56:19.757 –> 00:56:22.797
up here i can’t sit up here by myself there’s a bear warning

00:56:22.797 –> 00:56:25.677
right now so these are just things that i think that

00:56:25.677 –> 00:56:28.837
technology has made us think that we do have this instant connectivity

00:56:28.837 –> 00:56:33.377
because we do but you don’t for real and if you can’t access you can’t access

00:56:33.377 –> 00:56:37.557
your magic rectangle you can’t get to your phone then or your hands are shaking

00:56:37.557 –> 00:56:41.777
or you’re bled out like you’re bleeding so bad that you can’t activate your

00:56:41.777 –> 00:56:46.257
hands yeah like these are things that people don’t discuss what i do so as a

00:56:46.257 –> 00:56:47.637
person who’s worked in a bar for a long time.

00:56:47.797 –> 00:56:53.577
I’ve had every bodily fluid on me, all of them, unfortunately. And so…

00:56:53.879 –> 00:56:57.819
One time I was trying to get a guy outside and I was trying to grapple him using

00:56:57.819 –> 00:57:00.599
a very standing grappling. I like standing wrestling.

00:57:00.819 –> 00:57:03.959
I think to me, if you can’t standing wrestle, you can’t do anything else.

00:57:04.059 –> 00:57:06.259
Because if you’re a ground fighter and you can’t standing wrestle,

00:57:06.339 –> 00:57:07.039
you can’t take people down.

00:57:07.259 –> 00:57:10.779
If you’re a striker and you can’t standing wrestle, you can’t prevent from being taken down.

00:57:11.339 –> 00:57:15.779
So standing wrestling to me is all, it’s the glue that holds every system together.

00:57:16.299 –> 00:57:19.879
I like Greco-Roman wrestling, judo, doesn’t matter. You need to learn how to

00:57:19.879 –> 00:57:22.939
stand and grapple in or how to take a fall if you’re really looking at fighting.

00:57:22.939 –> 00:57:24.279
Because that’s how fights work in real life.

00:57:25.179 –> 00:57:32.559
So I was trying to grab a guy, but he was having a very bad drug reaction and he was so sweaty.

00:57:32.759 –> 00:57:37.799
He was so sweaty that I couldn’t grab anything. Grease pit. I couldn’t grab anything on him. Yeah.

00:57:38.319 –> 00:57:41.619
Right? Yeah. So I was trying to do an arm drag, catching his elbow.

00:57:41.759 –> 00:57:46.779
No, flip, flip, flip. So after that, we did a class where it sounds very homoerotic,

00:57:46.819 –> 00:57:49.699
but we’re pretty comfortable with ourselves. We baby oiled up.

00:57:49.959 –> 00:57:53.599
We put on olive oil and we tried to wrestle and that’ll change. the whole game.

00:57:53.779 –> 00:57:56.719
Changes the whole thing. So this is where like, yeah, this is where using,

00:57:56.859 –> 00:57:59.299
but that could happen. If the person’s vomits on themselves, they’re slippery.

00:57:59.479 –> 00:58:03.019
If the person’s bleeding, they’re slippery. If the person is sweating, they’re slippery.

00:58:03.339 –> 00:58:05.979
This isn’t discussed. And that, that’s what bugs me when people are like,

00:58:06.279 –> 00:58:08.659
oh, I’m the baddest man on the planet. I do this, this and this.

00:58:08.799 –> 00:58:11.919
I’m like, man, if you can’t apply your arm bar on a sweaty person,

00:58:12.019 –> 00:58:13.979
is your arm bar as effective as you think it is? Yeah.

00:58:14.639 –> 00:58:18.199
And, you know, talking about your losing your fine motor skills,

00:58:18.399 –> 00:58:21.559
you know, it gets talked about, but I don’t think really people,

00:58:21.559 –> 00:58:24.639
because most people haven’t faced violence.

00:58:25.099 –> 00:58:30.359
Most people haven’t experienced these sorts of things like losing fine motor skills.

00:58:30.519 –> 00:58:33.699
So they don’t even know what it means. And it doesn’t translate very well to

00:58:33.699 –> 00:58:39.119
dialing 911 on your smartphone. But, you know, in high stress situations,

00:58:39.119 –> 00:58:44.659
your heart rate can skyrocket, you know, up to 160 plus beats per minute, right?

00:58:44.819 –> 00:58:48.799
But you’re talking about losing fine motor skill.

00:58:49.059 –> 00:58:52.879
You’re talking about developing severe tunnel vision, where it’s like looking

00:58:52.879 –> 00:58:54.279
through a paper toweling roll.

00:58:54.559 –> 00:58:59.139
You’re talking about auditory exclusion. I mean, there’s been officer-involved

00:58:59.139 –> 00:59:04.379
shootings where the officer blasts off how many rounds, and he never even hears

00:59:04.379 –> 00:59:06.479
the rounds, so he has no idea. Yeah.

00:59:06.671 –> 00:59:09.691
What’s happened, you know, or what’s going on around him.

00:59:09.791 –> 00:59:13.591
And then I’ve also seen, and for the life of me, I don’t remember where it was,

00:59:13.611 –> 00:59:23.791
but I also saw somewhere that IQ drops down as far as down to 70 points in high stress situations.

00:59:23.891 –> 00:59:29.751
Now I haven’t been able to confirm that, but I did come across that data point

00:59:29.751 –> 00:59:33.231
a number of years ago, but you’re definitely going to lose fine motor skills,

00:59:33.651 –> 00:59:36.031
go to tunnel vision and auditory exclusion.

00:59:36.211 –> 00:59:38.511
You know, you’re going to lose your hearing if nothing else.

00:59:38.651 –> 00:59:41.971
And then, you know, honestly, you probably do, what do they call it?

00:59:42.051 –> 00:59:46.131
Resort to your lizard brain, you know, you’re more primal at that point.

00:59:46.271 –> 00:59:49.151
So there probably is some merit to losing those IQ points.

00:59:50.111 –> 00:59:53.791
Again, I have Rashida, but anecdotally, that makes sense. People are dumb when

00:59:53.791 –> 00:59:56.231
they’re scared. They’re dumb when they’re angry. They don’t make the choices.

00:59:56.471 –> 01:00:00.731
And like you said, right, if they’re switching gears, because you’re referencing

01:00:00.731 –> 01:00:04.171
the triune brain model, monkey, human, lizard kind of that survival mechanism.

01:00:04.351 –> 01:00:08.091
I think that’s the words you know, Jim, sorry. Um, but I’m assuming that’s what you’re referencing.

01:00:09.891 –> 01:00:14.071
Yeah, that’s it. Yeah. So when you’re switching gears, that survival place,

01:00:14.251 –> 01:00:16.451
it’s, do you need to know math right now? No.

01:00:16.671 –> 01:00:19.551
Do you need to know grammar right now? No, no. Right. Cause the body,

01:00:19.731 –> 01:00:22.171
the analogy I always use, I’m a huge nerd, Jim.

01:00:22.311 –> 01:00:25.011
If you haven’t caught that from my Instagram stuff, I’m a gigantic,

01:00:25.011 –> 01:00:26.411
I think I’m the king of the nerds.

01:00:26.471 –> 01:00:33.211
And I always use the I always use like spaceships in sci-fi as an example of

01:00:33.211 –> 01:00:35.191
what happens to your body under stress. Yeah.

01:00:35.451 –> 01:00:39.311
So I say, all right. So you’ve all probably seen some kind of sci-fi show before.

01:00:39.471 –> 01:00:43.051
We’re going to use every time they get into a battle, they always take the energy

01:00:43.051 –> 01:00:44.711
from the this and put it to the that.

01:00:45.111 –> 01:00:48.731
That’s what your body does, right? It shuts stuff down. That’s why you get butterflies

01:00:48.731 –> 01:00:50.771
in your stomach, because your digestion is shut down. Because if you don’t need

01:00:50.771 –> 01:00:52.811
to eat right now, there’s a bear here.

01:00:53.011 –> 01:00:58.551
So it starts to make executive decisions on what energy systems are prioritized

01:00:58.551 –> 01:01:00.031
and what things get shut down.

01:01:00.171 –> 01:01:04.531
Just like every sci-fi movie, when they’re in trouble, they put more power to their forward shield.

01:01:04.791 –> 01:01:08.111
That’s what happens to your body. And so I think, again, without researching,

01:01:08.331 –> 01:01:11.531
anecdotally, it does make sense that it would shut down parts of your brain.

01:01:11.631 –> 01:01:13.231
Like, do I need my neocortex right now?

01:01:13.351 –> 01:01:16.811
Probably not. I don’t need to. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

01:01:17.391 –> 01:01:20.851
And I know we’ve wanted to talk about this because I do want to talk about a

01:01:20.851 –> 01:01:22.291
newer program that you’ve started.

01:01:22.411 –> 01:01:23.751
And I think you’re doing it mostly

01:01:23.751 –> 01:01:27.911
online, maybe exclusively online called reality realities of violence.

01:01:28.071 –> 01:01:31.631
And I do want us to talk about that. But, you know, leading up to that,

01:01:31.711 –> 01:01:34.611
I just wanted to say, you know, that’s one of the things that I thought we were

01:01:34.611 –> 01:01:36.191
kind of kindred spirits on.

01:01:36.191 –> 01:01:40.891
It’s an issue that I struggle with, at least inside my own head,

01:01:41.071 –> 01:01:46.771
is, you know, so much self-defense training, not even talking about martial

01:01:46.771 –> 01:01:48.911
arts. Martial arts certainly fits the mold.

01:01:49.051 –> 01:01:52.911
But even in the self-defense world, it’s all about the physicality.

01:01:53.011 –> 01:01:57.151
It’s all about the physical training because it’s the sexiness that sells,

01:01:57.311 –> 01:01:59.631
right? That’s what brings students into your class.

01:01:59.771 –> 01:02:04.791
They’re not signing up for eight weeks of two-hour PowerPoint presentations

01:02:04.791 –> 01:02:06.671
three times a week. Right.

01:02:06.991 –> 01:02:11.371
But I’ve always thought it’s the struggle that I have, especially when it comes

01:02:11.371 –> 01:02:14.391
to trying to figure out how to make money. Right. But that’s a whole different story.

01:02:15.926 –> 01:02:23.146
There needs to be, in my opinion, as much or more emphasis on the education

01:02:23.146 –> 01:02:28.326
and information as much, if not more so than the physical aspects.

01:02:28.326 –> 01:02:31.266
And I think you agree with me based on what little bit I know.

01:02:32.066 –> 01:02:37.986
And so I’m assuming that realities of violence is just for that purpose or primarily

01:02:37.986 –> 01:02:40.226
a lot of it anyway, because I think that’s a,

01:02:40.566 –> 01:02:44.446
you know, we talk about the fallacies and yada, yada, But in my head,

01:02:44.666 –> 01:02:48.026
for whatever it’s worth, in the self-defense community,

01:02:48.346 –> 01:02:55.546
you stand to gain a lot more benefit if you just are a little smarter about

01:02:55.546 –> 01:02:58.246
things, even if you don’t know how to punch somebody in the face.

01:02:59.106 –> 01:03:03.726
Yeah, I think punching people in the face is a highly overrated skill, to be honest.

01:03:04.026 –> 01:03:06.906
There’s a lot of other things you can do to do better stuff.

01:03:07.026 –> 01:03:10.266
But yes, no, I agree 100% with what you’re saying. so for

01:03:10.266 –> 01:03:13.046
me i have a i do i have a podcast and i

01:03:13.046 –> 01:03:15.986
had an old podcast with a partner called talking to savages that

01:03:15.986 –> 01:03:21.066
obviously didn’t work pc wise it wasn’t a great title but we going but going

01:03:21.066 –> 01:03:25.046
forth we had a guy that showed up eric harzer he is a trauma account star he

01:03:25.046 –> 01:03:29.886
drives around deals with traumatic situations a really good guy and his uh thing

01:03:29.886 –> 01:03:35.686
with with this kind of thing is And I think because,

01:03:36.206 –> 01:03:40.226
like you said, it’s sexy to do the physical stuff, but the most important stuff

01:03:40.226 –> 01:03:43.466
is the soft skills in self-defense realistically.

01:03:43.846 –> 01:03:46.806
If your self-defense system is teaching how to get into a fight,

01:03:46.966 –> 01:03:49.546
it’s combative, masquerading self-defense, not self-defense.

01:03:49.846 –> 01:03:54.166
The goal of self-defense is to not get hurt at all. And I make this distinction

01:03:54.166 –> 01:03:57.846
when I talk about distance and proxemics. I use something called the shifting guard.

01:03:58.306 –> 01:04:01.326
A lot of systems like to put up, I’m going to say defense, but I’m not picking

01:04:01.326 –> 01:04:06.066
on Jeff Thompson. And I just, people put out their hands and they stayed a static position. Yep.

01:04:06.386 –> 01:04:08.546
And then they’re like, okay, now somebody does this. You can do this,

01:04:08.626 –> 01:04:13.726
this, or this. I’m like, okay, the static position is allowing them to hit you. If you keep moving,

01:04:14.260 –> 01:04:17.300
They’re not going to hit you. So I’m not trying to hide my cool ninja skills

01:04:17.300 –> 01:04:18.840
in a self-defense place.

01:04:19.040 –> 01:04:23.120
My goal is to not get hit at all, as opposed to if they do hit me, what to do.

01:04:23.360 –> 01:04:26.100
And I think that’s a fundamental flaw in a lot of thinking.

01:04:27.080 –> 01:04:31.700
But with the soft skills, Eric Harzer, like you said, when he works in group

01:04:31.700 –> 01:04:35.380
homes, nobody wants to eat vegetables, right? Because vegetables aren’t fun. Yeah.

01:04:35.780 –> 01:04:40.840
So they would blend the vegetables up and hide them in meatloaf so that people

01:04:40.840 –> 01:04:42.520
would eat meatloaf and get their vegetables.

01:04:42.520 –> 01:04:45.360
So while i’m punching you’re going to be talking to

01:04:45.360 –> 01:04:48.080
me the whole time correct so that

01:04:48.080 –> 01:04:51.000
literally that literally is my that’s my model right

01:04:51.000 –> 01:04:54.880
is we get them in for the sleek sexy stuff but then also like each class we

01:04:54.880 –> 01:04:58.500
i only do maybe each class they know we do a warm-up and then they get 10 minutes

01:04:58.500 –> 01:05:04.560
of vegetables and then 40 minutes of of meat right yeah yeah but that that 10

01:05:04.560 –> 01:05:08.300
minutes is the most important part so i really like to i normally i normally

01:05:08.300 –> 01:05:09.640
hide the vessels in the meatloaf.

01:05:10.120 –> 01:05:14.060
This online course is just straight up a salad. There is no hiding of anything.

01:05:14.240 –> 01:05:19.560
It is all, it is all soft skills, but it’s, it’s aimed at the people.

01:05:20.520 –> 01:05:23.260
And again, I’m going to go back to the, to the groups that I work with.

01:05:23.500 –> 01:05:28.360
So many people that I work with have been so victimized that starting with physical

01:05:28.360 –> 01:05:30.440
skills is a great way to re-traumatize.

01:05:30.840 –> 01:05:35.260
It’s a great way to, to ensure they never come to a martial arts class again.

01:05:35.380 –> 01:05:38.960
And a lot of people, a lot of instructors like to pat themselves on the back

01:05:38.960 –> 01:05:42.020
because, you know, they had this, this client come in and, you know,

01:05:42.140 –> 01:05:45.300
they were really meek and scared and now they’re not because of their training

01:05:45.300 –> 01:05:49.420
and they take most of the credit. Like I can’t believe, look what I did for this client.

01:05:50.189 –> 01:05:53.689
I’m like, you didn’t, you, you were, you were the path, but you were not the

01:05:53.689 –> 01:05:57.369
journey. That person had to work up the courage to email.

01:05:57.969 –> 01:06:01.489
Then they had to work up the courage every day to come to your class.

01:06:01.689 –> 01:06:03.489
Walk through your front door. You didn’t do the shit there. Yeah.

01:06:03.909 –> 01:06:07.829
Exactly. And, and potentially walk through the front door every single time.

01:06:08.029 –> 01:06:13.269
Yeah. I have a client who has now had a client who is now like super fit, looks like a superhero.

01:06:13.429 –> 01:06:16.229
But when I first had him, he was a very small person.

01:06:16.429 –> 01:06:20.689
I was very scared of everything. And he told me like what he became like Captain

01:06:20.689 –> 01:06:23.669
America, which we look like now he decided to go to CrossFit after he did with

01:06:23.669 –> 01:06:24.989
us. Now he’s just super jacked.

01:06:25.169 –> 01:06:29.529
But he when he first started training with us, he’s like every day he had a

01:06:29.529 –> 01:06:32.689
panic attack every single day for intro class, he had a panic attack.

01:06:33.329 –> 01:06:37.109
I can’t take credit. I can’t take the credit. I definitely helped.

01:06:37.229 –> 01:06:40.389
I pointed the way up the mountain, but I didn’t put him on my back and walk

01:06:40.389 –> 01:06:45.149
him up there in these situations. Wow. Yes, we are helpful.

01:06:45.429 –> 01:06:48.829
We again, we’re we’re the we’re the guide. We’re not the person making the journey,

01:06:48.889 –> 01:06:50.369
and I think that’s an important distinction.

01:06:51.049 –> 01:06:56.249
But also, this soft skills class is the way I put together is ideally this is

01:06:56.249 –> 01:07:00.949
the class for people that don’t know what to look for in a self-defense class,

01:07:00.949 –> 01:07:03.689
but also is if you’ve been doing martial arts for a long time,

01:07:03.869 –> 01:07:05.829
these are the things you should be telling your students.

01:07:06.029 –> 01:07:09.629
So it’s designed for both, here’s what violence looks like.

01:07:09.889 –> 01:07:12.969
This is the educational part. You’re going to need some kind of physical skills

01:07:12.969 –> 01:07:16.969
eventually, but now you know what to look for when you’re going to the place you’re going to.

01:07:17.609 –> 01:07:22.489
But also, it’s been really enlightening for a lot of instructors that are most doing physical skills.

01:07:23.182 –> 01:07:25.602
We’re like, oh, I didn’t even think about that or talk about that.

01:07:25.902 –> 01:07:30.282
So this, the course right now, it’s the first version of it is just soft skills.

01:07:30.502 –> 01:07:33.922
It is five or six modules. It’s about four hours in total.

01:07:34.122 –> 01:07:37.922
And we cover educational foundations of violence. That’s the name of it.

01:07:37.982 –> 01:07:40.382
So we covered the foundation. So, you know, the three types of violence.

01:07:40.602 –> 01:07:41.902
Here’s the myths of violence, right?

01:07:42.242 –> 01:07:45.822
Multiple attackers, the myth of 90% of street fights go to the ground.

01:07:45.962 –> 01:07:48.462
That’s actually a misreading of a study from the LAPD.

01:07:48.822 –> 01:07:52.022
Fights do go to the ground, but not nearly as much as 90% and not in the way

01:07:52.022 –> 01:07:55.502
that a lot A lot of people say they go to the ground because people don’t stay entangled.

01:07:55.662 –> 01:07:57.882
Like, yes, you go to the ground, but they don’t start wrestling you.

01:07:57.982 –> 01:07:59.862
They start punching you. Right. So it’s a different situation.

01:08:00.402 –> 01:08:05.142
So we we discuss that. We discuss multiple opponents. We discuss tactics of

01:08:05.142 –> 01:08:09.702
predatory or asocial violence versus the group tactics versus the social tactics.

01:08:09.882 –> 01:08:14.282
We talk about pre as I call them. So I call them pre escalation indicators,

01:08:14.522 –> 01:08:16.062
but they’re known as like pre attack use.

01:08:16.222 –> 01:08:19.922
Right. But again, because I’m not just talking about fighting escalation,

01:08:20.062 –> 01:08:21.022
just means the person starts yelling.

01:08:21.022 –> 01:08:23.662
And the same things that somebody does where they’re going to punch you are

01:08:23.662 –> 01:08:27.302
the same things before somebody starts to yell at you right so i

01:08:27.302 –> 01:08:29.922
like to use this pre-escalation because as you could tell i don’t like

01:08:29.922 –> 01:08:32.682
to just talk about the the fighting part there’s so many other things

01:08:32.682 –> 01:08:36.102
are going to happen yeah so we do pre-escalation indicators we talk about the

01:08:36.102 –> 01:08:41.122
aftermath for the course for the canadian listeners if you’re listening to the

01:08:41.122 –> 01:08:45.242
show we have a whole 30 minute talk by a law enforcement officer on canadian

01:08:45.242 –> 01:08:50.462
self-defense law so it’s it’s all the soft feel stuff you need to know before you move on.

01:08:50.682 –> 01:08:56.342
So aftermath, multiple opponents, sudden violence, commonalities, goals.

01:08:56.542 –> 01:09:00.262
There’s things that will, if you’ve been training physically for a long time,

01:09:00.462 –> 01:09:03.822
I don’t want to say this course is all you need because you want to keep researching,

01:09:04.002 –> 01:09:08.902
but it’s a really good primer to get you asking the right questions to help

01:09:08.902 –> 01:09:12.962
you help your students better. That’s the goal of the course. Yeah.

01:09:13.502 –> 01:09:16.842
Just to make you think if nothing else, You may not be able to change someone

01:09:16.842 –> 01:09:20.682
or make them do something different, but hopefully you can at least make them

01:09:20.682 –> 01:09:22.842
think about something they haven’t thought about before.

01:09:24.022 –> 01:09:28.202
Yeah, and it’s really been pulling. So do you know the word toque?

01:09:28.322 –> 01:09:29.142
Do you know what that is, like beanie?

01:09:29.522 –> 01:09:32.762
A toque is a Canadian word for beanie, like a hat, like a hat over your head.

01:09:33.262 –> 01:09:36.662
Yeah, so we call it toques here. And so I always say like pulling the wool,

01:09:36.882 –> 01:09:40.962
like getting the wool pulled from over your eyes is something that happens in a lot of situations.

01:09:40.962 –> 01:09:44.022
This course will help take some of that away but

01:09:44.022 –> 01:09:46.842
honestly the more i dive in it it feels like i’m i’m wearing

01:09:46.842 –> 01:09:49.842
unlimited toques so like i get one removed

01:09:49.842 –> 01:09:52.862
i’m like aha i understand and then i research something else

01:09:52.862 –> 01:09:55.882
like oh there’s a new two there’s another one now i

01:09:55.882 –> 01:09:58.782
get it right it’s not true so this will definitely

01:09:58.782 –> 01:10:01.862
help this this course we’ve had great reviews from

01:10:01.862 –> 01:10:04.802
a whole bunch of people all over the world people are taking this i’m very

01:10:04.802 –> 01:10:08.462
happy with how how well received it is we’ve been received in six countries

01:10:08.462 –> 01:10:12.462
people are certified certified they have the study group badge because i don’t

01:10:12.462 –> 01:10:15.702
certify people that’s not what i do i’m here to educate point the way you certify

01:10:15.702 –> 01:10:20.062
yourself so but in those areas we’re having a great review because it’s just

01:10:20.062 –> 01:10:22.422
again it’s it’s a really deep dive it’s

01:10:22.633 –> 01:10:27.413
It’s four hours, and it doesn’t sound like a long time, but you clearly hear how quickly I speak.

01:10:27.713 –> 01:10:33.353
And also, I edited out all the pauses. So with a sense, like a very dense four

01:10:33.353 –> 01:10:37.453
hours of education, and it’s kind of in a bite-sized piece.

01:10:37.573 –> 01:10:40.773
I think the longest video is outside the legal talk, which you can skip if you’re

01:10:40.773 –> 01:10:42.113
not from the E Canada, unless you’re interested.

01:10:42.673 –> 01:10:45.753
Each video, though, is one of the eight minutes long. So you can do it bite-sized.

01:10:45.853 –> 01:10:48.393
You can do it on the Teachable app. You can listen to it. There’s quizzes.

01:10:48.393 –> 01:10:53.253
And it’s just, it’s, I, I, I was of course proud of it, but why would I be proud?

01:10:53.353 –> 01:10:56.333
I wouldn’t really say I’m not proud of, but what I’m really excited about is

01:10:56.333 –> 01:10:59.913
the response that it’s getting the people who are, you know,

01:10:59.993 –> 01:11:03.193
people are filming videos and like sending me video reviews.

01:11:03.373 –> 01:11:05.553
Like I didn’t ask them to do that. That’s amazing.

01:11:05.933 –> 01:11:10.693
So I’m really happy with the volume, but if you like the stuff we talked about,

01:11:10.893 –> 01:11:14.593
so I’ll talk to your listeners now, listeners, if you like the stuff I was mentioning

01:11:14.593 –> 01:11:17.753
earlier, all of that is in the online course. That’s awesome.

01:11:18.153 –> 01:11:21.713
That’s awesome. Yeah, it’s really cool. So one last question,

01:11:21.893 –> 01:11:24.573
because you’ve spent a lot of time with us and it’s been great.

01:11:24.793 –> 01:11:28.473
I’m sure we can go on and on and on because I love talking about all this sort

01:11:28.473 –> 01:11:34.293
of stuff and just questions keep popping in my mind, the topics we could go off on tangents on.

01:11:35.933 –> 01:11:40.213
The one question that I’ve had and a number of months ago now,

01:11:40.253 –> 01:11:44.493
I actually wrote it down in my notebook where I take all my copious notes of things.

01:11:44.733 –> 01:11:49.253
It’s the thing that’s been bothering me or the thing that I’ve been trying,

01:11:49.373 –> 01:11:55.173
the riddle that I’ve been trying to solve is if I were to ask you,

01:11:55.213 –> 01:11:58.453
how do we get people, women,

01:11:58.793 –> 01:12:03.793
you know, whoever people more invested in their personal safety, Randy?

01:12:04.287 –> 01:12:10.827
That’s a great question. I think the best way to advocate for that is to make

01:12:10.827 –> 01:12:12.107
them discover it themselves.

01:12:12.807 –> 01:12:18.467
So when I always say if somebody, if I teach you something, you have to remember it.

01:12:18.567 –> 01:12:21.287
If you discover it on your own, it’s yours. yeah so if you

01:12:21.287 –> 01:12:24.867
figure out if you figure out like a technique so let’s say we’re working night

01:12:24.867 –> 01:12:28.447
defense and i i could say a hundred times right you know do this do this do

01:12:28.447 –> 01:12:31.167
this just memorize that but when you’re like when you get it you’re like oh

01:12:31.167 –> 01:12:35.047
you mean this you’re like yeah i’ve said that 150 times right but when they

01:12:35.047 –> 01:12:39.727
discover when they discover it that’s what does so for me i.

01:12:40.467 –> 01:12:45.207
All the time i’m talking with people who are looking at self-defense it’s not

01:12:45.207 –> 01:12:49.407
about me telling them what I can do for them. It’s about me asking what they’re looking for.

01:12:49.707 –> 01:12:56.107
And when you get those people talking about their concerns, their concerns then

01:12:56.107 –> 01:13:01.587
create the inertia for them to then take follow-up training.

01:13:01.967 –> 01:13:05.227
So when people come to me and they sit down in the office, like,

01:13:05.267 –> 01:13:06.827
hey, we’re here to take a self-defense class. I’m like, cool.

01:13:06.947 –> 01:13:07.647
Why are you looking at self-defense?

01:13:08.247 –> 01:13:11.667
I’m like, I want this, this, and this. And so the first thing is I hate wasting

01:13:11.667 –> 01:13:14.867
time. I’m a former salesperson. I don’t want to waste time for people.

01:13:15.727 –> 01:13:20.007
And I’m a, I’m known as a consultant salesperson. So I’m here to get you what

01:13:20.007 –> 01:13:22.147
you want. I’m not here to sell you something bigger.

01:13:22.307 –> 01:13:25.007
So I used to work in electronics like forever ago.

01:13:25.347 –> 01:13:28.307
And I always got yelled at, right? Like, why’d you tell them to take an item?

01:13:28.727 –> 01:13:30.427
Yeah. Pardon me? I did too.

01:13:31.867 –> 01:13:35.447
You did too. Oh, crazy. I sold, I sold small electronics at a,

01:13:35.567 –> 01:13:39.267
at a shop in, down here in the States. Yep. Back in the day. Sure did.

01:13:40.267 –> 01:13:42.587
I think we are kindred spirits. I totally agree with that. Yeah.

01:13:42.667 –> 01:13:46.247
Yeah. But I was always selling on the, what do you need?

01:13:46.367 –> 01:13:48.867
Not what gives you the biggest commission, not what, you know,

01:13:48.947 –> 01:13:52.007
okay. So you need this, you need this. And it worked out really well for me.

01:13:52.167 –> 01:13:56.327
Um, I have a book on how to build a biz, a gym called a cellular level of comfort.

01:13:56.547 –> 01:13:57.687
It’s out there somewhere on Amazon.

01:13:58.147 –> 01:14:02.507
And I tell a story that where this grandmother came in and she wanted to buy

01:14:02.507 –> 01:14:05.987
a $38 microwave, like 38 or 68. It was cheap.

01:14:06.127 –> 01:14:09.007
It was like, not like commission of like six cents. Yeah.

01:14:09.407 –> 01:14:12.287
And I spent, I spent three hours with her three hours.

01:14:12.787 –> 01:14:16.727
Going over the settings and how it works and all this stuff.

01:14:16.807 –> 01:14:19.147
And everybody laughed at me. They’re like, Oh, you’re so dumb.

01:14:19.547 –> 01:14:21.687
Why didn’t you just get her the item and get a rather? It’s like,

01:14:21.867 –> 01:14:24.567
I sold eight beds and two TVs and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:14:24.847 –> 01:14:26.827
And those are high ticket, high commission items. Yeah.

01:14:27.967 –> 01:14:32.847
And anyways, like three days later, that old lady came in again and she was left with a young man.

01:14:33.509 –> 01:14:35.709
And she walked up and everybody was, hi, that lady’s back. She was like,

01:14:35.709 –> 01:14:39.489
is Randy here? I’m so, yeah. Oh, how can I help you? She was like, this is my son.

01:14:40.029 –> 01:14:44.789
My son is a contractor. He wants to buy all his appliances forever from you

01:14:44.789 –> 01:14:46.089
now because you were so nice to me.

01:14:46.509 –> 01:14:50.629
And so then I got the last laugh, right? Yeah, it was really cool. That’s awesome.

01:14:50.829 –> 01:14:55.569
So I do the same thing with my clients. I have turned away so much business.

01:14:55.689 –> 01:14:58.609
Instead of trying to convince them what they want is what I do,

01:14:58.909 –> 01:15:01.629
if they hit certain words, the person like oh i want to like you know

01:15:01.629 –> 01:15:04.429
really get the shape become super top and like compete i’m

01:15:04.429 –> 01:15:07.229
like okay we’re not the gym for you wrong here’s a list of

01:15:07.229 –> 01:15:09.889
gyms yeah here’s a list of gyms you can

01:15:09.889 –> 01:15:15.629
go to yeah so to answer the question is ask to me and everything is getting

01:15:15.629 –> 01:15:19.389
them engaged is why you look at the self-defense okay that’s interesting okay

01:15:19.389 –> 01:15:26.269
tell me your experience and then just most people especially with women they’re

01:15:26.269 –> 01:15:28.369
so used to being told what they should have done Yeah.

01:15:28.649 –> 01:15:32.109
And they’re so used to being told what, you know, oh, I wouldn’t have done that.

01:15:32.189 –> 01:15:34.489
Or, oh, if you would have trained here, you would have done this.

01:15:34.589 –> 01:15:38.389
And it kind of, it’s a little victim blaming. It’s not intentionally it is, but it is.

01:15:38.869 –> 01:15:42.409
And the second they hear that, they shut off. In my experience,

01:15:42.769 –> 01:15:46.909
when you’re talking with somebody, if you’re there to truly listen to them here

01:15:46.909 –> 01:15:51.929
and then reinforce their reality with that, that, you know, like, oh, you know what?

01:15:52.109 –> 01:15:55.749
You’re actually, I hear what you’re saying. And that’s consistent with this,

01:15:55.849 –> 01:15:57.089
this and this. Then they’re like,

01:15:57.209 –> 01:16:00.809
oh my God, this person understands and they’re willing to work with me.

01:16:01.029 –> 01:16:06.889
I am a, I’m a six foot one, 250 pound white straight male.

01:16:07.609 –> 01:16:12.489
There is no reason on the planet. So many women should work with me,

01:16:12.609 –> 01:16:15.569
but they work with me because I’m not telling you what I would do.

01:16:15.929 –> 01:16:20.529
I’m asking them, what is the issue? Okay. That’s what we’re seeing. And also.

01:16:21.283 –> 01:16:26.143
When I say something and somebody comes at me with their worldview,

01:16:26.143 –> 01:16:29.983
if it’s contradictory to mine, then I listen still.

01:16:30.343 –> 01:16:34.683
The biggest issue with this self-defense world is that so many people,

01:16:35.263 –> 01:16:37.503
this is a really big thing with rookie coaches.

01:16:37.743 –> 01:16:42.783
Rookie coaches want you to know you made the right choice by picking them,

01:16:43.043 –> 01:16:47.163
by showing you everything they know instantaneously as fast as possible, right?

01:16:47.283 –> 01:16:49.663
Like, look how good I am. You made the right choice.

01:16:49.843 –> 01:16:53.603
This is awesome. And while that’s not bad, it’s not helpful for the client because

01:16:53.603 –> 01:16:55.923
you’re kind of, you know, you’re making a drink from a fire hose,

01:16:56.043 –> 01:16:57.303
right? Like, look at all the stuff I know.

01:16:57.843 –> 01:17:00.383
When people come and work with me, they’re like, oh, man, this is really,

01:17:00.463 –> 01:17:04.003
like, really slow and basic. I’m like, yeah, honestly, the first 10 lessons

01:17:04.003 –> 01:17:05.503
of these things are really boring for me.

01:17:05.543 –> 01:17:07.963
Like, what do you mean boring? I’m like, you know, I’m just teaching the same stuff.

01:17:08.063 –> 01:17:10.743
But after lesson 10, then you start asking good questions.

01:17:10.903 –> 01:17:14.463
And then we get to the fun stuff, right? And they’re like, oh, cool.

01:17:14.703 –> 01:17:17.823
And that’s, I think, the big thing. So for me to answer that question,

01:17:17.923 –> 01:17:22.063
how do we get the more involvement? is just have better conversations with people

01:17:22.063 –> 01:17:24.303
and have a conversation.

01:17:24.363 –> 01:17:26.083
Don’t wait for your turn to reply.

01:17:26.883 –> 01:17:30.503
Actually have a conversation. Hear what they’re saying and that’s what’s going

01:17:30.503 –> 01:17:32.543
to invest them. I’ve had lots of people at parties.

01:17:32.743 –> 01:17:37.563
I often don’t say what I do for a living because you get like the tough guys

01:17:37.563 –> 01:17:41.323
and whatever, or my dad was ex-Navy SEAL Special Forces.

01:17:41.443 –> 01:17:45.543
He taught me how to kill people with them so I don’t have to train. And I’m so sick of that.

01:17:46.563 –> 01:17:49.223
So most of the time, I just say I’m in sales. Yeah, I’m in sales.

01:17:49.303 –> 01:17:52.263
I’m in sales whatever yeah then they ignore

01:17:52.263 –> 01:17:55.523
me i’m a web designer people do exactly that’s

01:17:55.523 –> 01:17:59.523
exactly like you did earlier right i’m a web designer it’s it

01:17:59.523 –> 01:18:03.483
solves that problem but i’ve had a lot of conversations with people when they

01:18:03.483 –> 01:18:06.243
come to me i’m like a little bit this this all that tracks with this who’ve

01:18:06.243 –> 01:18:10.703
come to train after because again i’m not selling them i’m just explaining we

01:18:10.703 –> 01:18:14.463
can maybe solve some of your problems that’s to me the best way to get this

01:18:14.463 –> 01:18:17.643
information out there is be like look i’m a consultant you can work with me

01:18:17.643 –> 01:18:19.183
or not work with me this is what we do.

01:18:19.443 –> 01:18:24.343
And that’s why I’ve moved from law enforcement and all the cool tactical skull

01:18:24.343 –> 01:18:28.043
emblem stuff to just like people, like regular people.

01:18:28.383 –> 01:18:32.803
And that’s what makes me happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just meet them where they are. It sounds like.

01:18:33.863 –> 01:18:37.043
Exactly. Meet them where they are and validate them.

01:18:37.163 –> 01:18:40.183
Like their experience is true. Like I’ve heard so many instructors,

01:18:40.383 –> 01:18:43.523
people that have worked for me, I’ve heard this like, oh, that’s not really how stuff happens.

01:18:43.623 –> 01:18:47.783
I’m like, it didn’t happen to them. Yes Then that’s how stuff happens Like Just

01:18:47.783 –> 01:18:51.603
because Statistically That’s not what happens If it happens to that person Then

01:18:51.603 –> 01:18:56.683
that is how stuff happens Yep Absolutely To them It’s what they know Exactly

01:18:56.683 –> 01:18:58.363
To them That’s all they know Yeah,

01:18:59.093 –> 01:19:03.953
Stats matter when you’re building a class, but stats don’t matter in real life.

01:19:04.073 –> 01:19:07.773
And that’s what people need to understand is if I’m building a course to hit

01:19:07.773 –> 01:19:10.553
the most people I can hit, stats matter.

01:19:10.813 –> 01:19:15.033
But I’m working with one person, stats do not matter. If I say statistically

01:19:15.033 –> 01:19:18.873
the most likely knife attack is an underhand and somebody comes after an overhand

01:19:18.873 –> 01:19:21.973
attack, you can’t be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Randy says statistically you’re

01:19:21.973 –> 01:19:24.693
not going to do that. That’s just not how that fucking works.

01:19:25.053 –> 01:19:28.853
Sorry, I’m not going to look square. That’s not how that works. Yeah.

01:19:29.093 –> 01:19:32.413
So people need to understand while the stats are important in order to get a

01:19:32.413 –> 01:19:36.313
picture of violence, stats don’t matter in the encounter.

01:19:36.473 –> 01:19:39.493
They just don’t. You have to deal with what you get. And that’s a big disconnect

01:19:39.493 –> 01:19:41.133
for some people. Makes sense.

01:19:41.693 –> 01:19:45.293
Well, Randy, this has been great. I really appreciate us finally being able

01:19:45.293 –> 01:19:49.093
to connect and get this knocked out. It’s been awesome.

01:19:49.973 –> 01:19:54.413
We’ve been going at it. And like I said, I could keep asking questions and keep talking.

01:19:54.553 –> 01:19:57.693
I eat this stuff up. I love it. How can people find you?

01:19:57.753 –> 01:20:01.213
How can they learn more? How can they find out about realities of violence and

01:20:01.213 –> 01:20:03.153
all your other good stuff you’re doing?

01:20:04.353 –> 01:20:06.793
Awesome. So number one, I’d love to be on the show again so we could talk more.

01:20:07.193 –> 01:20:08.673
Number two, let’s do a little subtle one.

01:20:08.933 –> 01:20:14.933
Number two, so honestly, I made a weird choice in my marketing and I kind of love my own name.

01:20:15.113 –> 01:20:23.113
So all you have to do is type in Randy King Live and you’ll find me.

01:20:23.273 –> 01:20:24.653
At least you own it, right?

01:20:25.673 –> 01:20:30.313
Yeah, exactly. So RandyKingLive on Instagram My website is RandyKingLive.com

01:20:30.313 –> 01:20:33.913
If you go to online training on that page You’ll see my blog,

01:20:34.093 –> 01:20:38.233
my videos, the podcast Everything’s on, that’s the hub To the RandyKingLive machine,

01:20:38.753 –> 01:20:42.553
You can go there and check it out If you’re local, KPC Self-Defense as well

01:20:42.553 –> 01:20:45.753
But if you’re international or not in Canada Or anywhere else,

01:20:47.093 –> 01:20:52.053
RandyKingLive.com or RandyKingLive And that’s even the Even the podcast called

01:20:52.053 –> 01:20:56.873
the RandyKingLive podcast channel So my name live You’ll find me for sure That’s awesome.

01:20:57.313 –> 01:21:00.013
Well, Randy, we appreciate you being on and thanks so much.

01:21:01.680 –> 01:21:21.803
Music.